Bruh, I’m a fat fuck and not only did I get laid, I married a beautiful, wonderful woman half my weight. A amazing woman who loves me for who I am and finds me sexually attractive.
Be kind, be generous, ask questions, and do basic like, grooming and bathing and whatnot. If you’re socially awkward, study the ways of the Chandler. (Not necessarily literally, but honestly you can learn a lot about being pleasant to be around and interacting with people by watching actors fake it, which you can then use to fake it until you’re more comfortable).
Sex itself isn’t the goal, becoming a well-rounded person you would like to be around is the goal. Because self-confidence is an elusive but important factor.
I’m not going to claim to be without privilege, I’ve got a damn sexy voice and I sing in a chorus, which is a great way to meet people. Which is another part of my advice, find hobbies that let you interact with other people. They don’t even need to be people you’re sexually attracted to, because time with people helps you to be better around people, and being better around people helps those people to introduce you to others.
If it’s honestly something you want, becoming the kind of person who fucks is a very attainable goal. After all, our entire species is here because lots of people achieve that goal.
But like I said, it’s important for your aim not to be getting laid, but rather genuinely getting yourself to a place where you like yourself and know others will like you, too. Journey before destination, you know? It’s really really easy to wallow and pretend it’s outside your abilities, but that’s true of anything that you have never done before. And literally everything you do is something you can get better at.
Chandler Bing, the sarcastic “nerd” in Friends (who, like every sitcom character, is actually highly attractive of course).
Not saying you need to watch Friends (it hasn’t aged super well), but honestly sitcoms can be helpful for social training. To some extent, anyway.
Also I’m sorry but you’re basically telling me to fake myself.
No, I’m suggesting you find way to change things you don’t like about yourself, to make improvements. You’re going to feel like you’re faking it any time you try to do something you aren’t comfortable with at first, but the more you do it the more comfortable you’ll feel.
I cannot do that, it literally makes me sick in my stomach trying to “fit in”
Not telling you to try to fit in. I’m telling you to try to improve your interpersonal skills. Trying to fit in is trying to copy everyone else and be what you think they want you to be. Instead, try examine the way other people interact to learn how to be less awkward.
You won’t succeed immediately. You will make a fool of yourself. I spent decades making a fool of myself. Still do make a fool of myself. But that’s okay. The only real cost are the frustratingly intrusive memories of embarrassment. 😅 But hey, that’s how we learn.
I have 0 desire of having another worthless hobby
Who said anything about worthless hobbies? I’m confident there are things you’ve never tried that you would enjoy. If you don’t like it, find something else. Branch out. Spend time around people, that’s the important part. Not just for getting laid, but for like, longevity. Humans who have consistent social connections live longer on average.
Look, I’m not making demands of you here. I’m trying to give you advice that worked for me. If you don’t want that advice, just ignore it. But you remind me of my own attitude when I was younger, and I’m just letting you know what helped me.
I am significantly happier now than I was twenty years ago. But it’s not like I’ve reached some end point, change is the only constant. Improving myself is something I will probably never stop doing. Lately it’s been about learning to be a better partner to my wife, but it’s also still always about learning to be more comfortable outside my comfort zones. A lifelong, ongoing process. Like I said, journey before destination.
If left to my own devices, I would spend most evenings smoking weed, playing video games, and listening to podcasts or TV. Activities I love. But if that were all I did (or, rather, when that was all I did), I would (did) enjoy my life far less.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy. A line from the TV show Scrubs that has stuck with me for years goes “nothing in life worth having comes easy.” I don’t know if I entirely agree with this line, but there is absolutely some truth to it. Every day we choose between the pain of effort and the pain of regret.
Anyway, I don’t want to be annoying. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life, dude.
From its towering white steeple and red-brick facade to its Sunday services filled with rousing gospel hymns and evangelistic sermons, First Baptist Church of Alexandria, Virginia, bears many of the classic hallmarks of a Southern Baptist church....
Much of the laws in the epistles (letters that make up the bulk of the New Testament) are cultural, related to their time in the Roman Empire. This is why plenty of churches feel comfortable saying women can be pastors, gay people are totally fine, etc.
Just not the loud, shitty ones that make all the news and try to force their religious restrictions down the throats of others.
That’s fine right up to when you’re complaining about the temperature to an american.
But I am an American. To learn Celsius I came up with a quick heuristic to do “accurate enough” conversions for the months between switching off Fahrenheit and getting to the point where I knew Celsius well enough.
So I can pretty quickly go from Celsius to Fahrenheit for my ignorant compatriots.
Edit: For anyone downvoting me, if it’s because I called people who don’t know Celsius “ignorant,” please understand I’m using this definition: “lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about a particular thing.”
Not this one: “lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated,” nor this one: “discourteous or rude.”
We are all ignorant about things we don’t know about. No shame in ignorance, it’s the default state of all living beings!
Those updates are easy when you have to release a system update to update the safari browser. Hell, you could call it a major security fix and fix some security issue on an old phone and every fanboy would be like “OMG iPhone 3s got an update.🤤” whereas Google can just ship browser fixes over the app store.
Except that’s not what Apple means when they say they’ll update phones for five years. Security fixes aren’t the same as full iOS versions.
iOS 17, which came out September 2023, is available for the iPhone XR and XS, which came out in September of 2018. That’s a full OS update with all the non-hardware-based bells and whistles.
Security patches may very well release for older phones, but not full OS updates. Earlier this year they dropped a security patch for the iPhone 6S, a phone from 2015.
They did offer cheap battery replacements to anyone with the affected models, essentially just covering the labor cost. Like $30 for a brand new battery.
No one makes batteries easy to replace on flagships these days because everyone is more concerned with waterproofing and form factor than they are with ease of battery replacement. I do miss the days of my old HTC Sensation, where I could just pop the back off and swap out the battery. I would carry around charged spares with me, so I would just turn off the phone, swap the battery, and have full battery instantly.
Which is completely meaningless when you can’t repair the hardware 🤦
Well sure, their anti-right-to-repair shit has been very frustrating. Certainly something worth hating them for. But you can repair those devices if you get a certified shop to do it. Or if you don’t mind not having biometric sensors or NFC. It isn’t an example of planned obsolescence, just an example of poorly communicating and handling potential security concerns. You’ll note that Apple isn’t alone in this (not that this excuses the behavior).
It’s okay, you don’t have to defend the corporations to make yourself feel better about your poor purchase decisions…
I’m not defending anyone. Hate on whomever you want, just hate them for accurate reasons. I was a proud OnePlus user when the Apple battery throttling went down, but I bothered to educate myself on the subject. It was poorly handled, but it wasn’t planned obsolescence.
They want to support their old devices for the same reason they don’t want to support Android with iMessage: they want parents to give their children their old Apple devices so the whole family gets locked into their ecosystem. That’s shitty. That’s worth hating them for.
My parents live one city over and while it’s 20 minutes by car and 40 by bike, I’d rather cycle.
This is kind of true for me. My parents technically in another city, but the same metropolitan area. About 25-30 minutes by car, about 40-50 minutes by e-bike.
But the last time I biked there, I (and my little dog, strapped to my chest) almost got killed by a driver who was impatient with me not going enough over the speed limit. I was going about 27 or 28 in a 25mph zone. They passed me illegally, almost got hit, and would’ve slammed into me if they had gotten hit.
Bike infrastructure just isn’t here in most places. Our cities are sprawling because much of the US has no shortage of land, and cars are an integral part of navigating them. It blows.
The ironic part is that I live in West Michigan. A huge portion of the population here calls themselves “Dutch” because their families immigrated here from the Netherlands a few generations ago. There’s a saying around here, “If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much.” So many names have “Van” or “Vander” or “stra” somewhere.
But of course they aren’t Dutch, they’re American. And their families left the Netherlands for many reasons, but a major one for the families that have been here the longest is that the Netherlands wasn’t conservative enough for them. So they’re like, the polar opposite of the modern Netherlands.
But there is a pretty good biking culture here compared to some other parts of the US. Unfortunately, that comparison isn’t particularly useful since most of the US doesn’t seem to care at all about cyclists.
“The issue, now before Cannon in the Southern District of Florida federal court, is likely to remain in the political debate at least until Cannon holds a hearing on the legal power of the special counsel to prosecute a defendant, on June 21.”
And he’s got 3 members of the Supreme Court to back him up.
Only 3?
I assume Thomas, Alito, Gorsuch, and Barrett are guaranteed to back him. Kavanaugh likely will, and Roberts if he thinks he can get away with it while maintaining his thin veneer of legitimacy.
He doesn’t have legitimacy, but he likes to pretend he does. Enough that he sometimes votes against the other conservative justices when it’s going to be 5-4 vs 6-3 anyway.
Edit: As chief justice I think Roberts has a better understanding of the legacy of his court, and it has caused him to be at least somewhat less gung-ho about the blatant partisan nature of the court. But definitely not always.
I agree! And I’ve considered saying it a few times, but I don’t really understand the reasoning behind it and I figured better to not bother than to “um, akchually” this one. 😅
Funny, because i live in a state that decriminalized marijuana and i just lost my job for testing positive for marijuana on a drug test.
That sounds to me like you violated the terms of your employment agreed upon by you and your employer when you entered into an employment contract with them. The federal government has little-to-no control over stuff like drug testing at non-governmental jobs.
Alcohol is legal, but if you test positive for alcohol in a piss test or breathalyzer there’s a good chance, depending on your employer, that you won’t be working for them.
You ought to be cognizant of your own habits with regard to your employer’s drug testing policy. Marijuana can show up in a piss test for weeks if you’re a heavy or frequent user. If you know you regularly or randomly get tested, don’t partake or find a different job.
That’s not the Democratic party’s fault, that’s between you and your employer. Stupid? Sure. Unfair? Absolutely. A useless policy that pushes people out of jobs for no good reason? You betcha. Doesn’t change the contract you entered into when you took the job.
What's the most basic thing you can't do?
Stop! And proceed... (lemy.lol)
It has been a year since we migrated from reddit. What are your favourite communities?
Southern Baptists are poised to ban churches with women pastors. Some are urging them to reconsider (apnews.com)
From its towering white steeple and red-brick facade to its Sunday services filled with rousing gospel hymns and evangelistic sermons, First Baptist Church of Alexandria, Virginia, bears many of the classic hallmarks of a Southern Baptist church....
Everyday, as an American (midwest.social)
Samsung is sunsetting Tizen and fully ending support for the smartwatch OS (9to5google.com)
‘Looks at perfectly functional Galaxy Watch 3 on my wrist’
MAGA 'Prophets': God Thinks Trump's Conviction Was Rigged (www.rollingstone.com)
Militarized Cybertruck cop cars are coming (www.popsci.com)
A California company is advertising ‘tactical response’ Tesla Cybertruck upgrades for police cruisers, including shotgun racks and sirens.
Apple will update iPhones for at least 5 years in rare public commitment (arstechnica.com)
Man with suspended license appears in Michigan court over Zoom while driving (abc7.com)
cross-posted from: lemmy.world/post/15976653...
favoring meme, please (feddit.it)
Judge Cannon expands hearing on Trump’s request to declare special counsel’s appointment invalid | CNN Politics (www.cnn.com)
“The issue, now before Cannon in the Southern District of Florida federal court, is likely to remain in the political debate at least until Cannon holds a hearing on the legal power of the special counsel to prosecute a defendant, on June 21.”
Convicted Felon Trump Tells Putin to Keep Wall Street Journal Reporter Hostage Through Election (nymag.com)
there is always one (lemy.lol)
One in three Republicans now think Donald Trump was wrong candidate choice (www.newsweek.com)
One in three Republican voters would have preferred a different candidate to Donald Trump for the upcoming presidential election....
House passes GOP bill to sanction ICC as it seeks arrest warrant for Netanyahu (www.msn.com)