Unless they start brigading heavily or cross a line in terms of the communities they house, we won’t be defederating them.
Their own communities are, quite something, but their admins have told them to be on their best behaviour when engaging in communities outside of their instance, and so far, they seem to be doing that
I will defederate from any instance with admins that excuse transphobia. If that makes our part of the Fediverse quite small, that sucks, but it is what it is. I moved here to get away from social media that won’t take action on transphobia. I’m not suddenly going to decide it’s ok if it means we get more traffic.
“The first thing that jumps to your mind isn’t always what you truly think. Sometimes, it’s just what you’ve been trained to think. What matters, is what you do next”
I grew up in a really racist, queerphobic environment, and that comment really helped me by letting me give myself space to undo the bigoted indoctrination I had been taught, without getting trapped in guilt and self disgust whenever one of the racist or bigoted things I was raised with jumped in to my mind.
It let me recognise the bigoted thought as something I was trained to think, rather than being what I actually believe, and by recognising it, I could disempower the thought, and start to unlearn it
Strictly speaking, that’s simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no “correct” answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that’s it. If it doesn’t, it’s not, and your search continues :)