I like women but I also like cock but I'm not otherwise attracted to the male body at all. Wtf is my sexual orientation? AITA?
I like women. I like the shape and curves of the female body. I like boobs, I like asses, I like pretty vaginas. I also appreciate and am aroused by a nice cock. I’m however not otherwise attracted to the male body. I like femboys as long as they have a feminine-like shape and curves, as many of them do.
Totally agree. I'm not sure why everyone focuses so hard on determining how many letters there are in their alphabet. 5 years from now it might be totally diff. It would be so refreshing if people simply said "Here's what floats my boat today"
Strictly speaking, that’s simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no “correct” answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that’s it. If it doesn’t, it’s not, and your search continues :)
Its not bisexual, assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women, or bi men and bi women.
It also is not pansexual, as there’s clearly /I don’t actually have equal sexual attraction to literally anyone/ going on.
I am actually like this too, have been for a long time.
Now, I do not want to presume to speak for this person, so the rest of this is just me.
Maybe they can chime in and agree or disagree.
Absolutely not attracted to men, of any kind of presentation.
But… I’d love to fall in love with a woman who could peg me, or a transwoman. I’d fellatio a transwoman’s unit no problem. But not a gay man, or a bi man.
So… by that, we’ve got what used to be called basically a kinky guy?
And while I am an lgtbq ally (or arguably member), Ive always been comfortable with my own male body, and basically present as a cis male.
So, its some new kind of sexuality/gender there is not really a name for yet.
At least for me, it isn’t femboy, as I have 0 interest in being essentially a feminine cross dresser with very submissive personality traits and cutesy uwu affectations.
I have nothing against femboys, but I personally would not be interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with one.
assuming bisexual means in this context a biologically born man who is equally sexually attracted to gay men and straight women
Bisexual doesn’t mean that… Bisexual means someone who is attracted to two or more genders…
At least for me, it isn’t femboy
The OP explicitly said they’re attracted to femboys, so their experience is different to yours.
The only person who can say whether bisexual is the right label for the OP though is the OP. But if they feel it fits, it fits exactly the experience they’ve described.
Hrm, every self professed bi person I’ve ever met described themselves the way I described them as, likewise with every pan person.
Didn’t realize the the definition of bi had changed.
Today I Learned, I guess.
I’d call that polysexual, if it means attraction to 2+ genders, though I get that the term comes from back before gender itself was really widely critically analyzed.
And of course polysexual would be confused with polyamorous.
But yes, you are correct this is the modern definition, so I guess I am bi then.
But I’d never like identify openly as bi, because, again, everyone I’ve ever met /not on the internet/ would think that means I like dudes and gals.
Ah, yes, I have. I shouldn’t have phrased it as equal attraction, perhaps, ‘willingness to sexually engage with either sex’.
Though isn’t the Kinsey Scale now woefully out of date anyway, as it comes from research in the America of 1948 and 1953, only considering essentially men and women, and hetero and homosexuality, when it is now understood that gender is actually distinct from sex?
Bisexual is defined as attraction to more than one gender, where gender is a component of the attraction. So if you 96% like one gender, 3% another, and 1% yet another, that's bi. If you're 60/40, that's bi too. Bi = multiple genders where gender plays a factor. It has never meant only 50/50.
Pansexual is attraction to people where gender doesn't play a role. Pansexuals' patterns may look like a bisexual's patterns because they date across genders, but the attraction matrix is different.
Finsexual (Gynesexual) is attracted to feminine traits generally. Whether penis or vagina, it is the femininity they like. I can speak to this as this is me. I like feminity, not necessarily women particularly. I use bisexual as shorthand because most people "get" that.
It hasn’t. The bisexual manifesto, going back to 1990 for example, said the following
Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or dougamous in nature; that we must have “two” sides or that we MUST be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.
Huh, I hadn’t read it. Everyone I know / knew who identified as bi in the 00s or 10s explained it to me as I said, and that does seem to be the general public understanding of the term by anyone Ive talked to in person in the last 5 years or so.
Ive also had self professed pan people explain bisexuality to me as I originally described it as recently as 2 years ago.
And that is ultimately why everyone gets to pick their own labels irrelevant of discussions like the one we’re having. It’s all subjective and malleable over time!
Absofuckinglutely, in particular there’s far too much assumption out there that bi people must be poly - it’s a large portion of why I shifted my chosen label to pan… that and because there was briefly a strong anti-trans bisexual movement.
I’ve never met a bi person who insisted that they’re attraction to the genders were equal. Many had preferences (mostly into women, but defintely go with certain guys) and many had phases (more into men today, but was previously crushing hard on that girl). It’s one of the commonly talked about sources of bianxiety, that you can go through a period where you start thinking “am I really bi? Maybe I’m just straight / gay” and then you see someone and remember “no, I’m totally bi”. Bi erasure is such a thing it even effects bi folks! (source am bi, have lots of bi friends)
I wouldn't say bisexual makes sense categorically for anyone who dislikes half of the masculinity/femininity spectrum. I mean it is a bit different with femboys, but I also suspect attraction there is very superficial (esp. if the look uses silicone body stuff) and likely wouldn't work as much in-person especially on a relationship level.
There is the term gynephilia, though I also don't expect something like that to be casually mentioned/understood/accepted. In which case, no good answer I guess.
I wouldn’t say bisexual makes sense categorically for anyone who dislikes half of the masculinity/femininity spectrum.
Bisexual is simply someone that is attracted more than one gender. Nothing to do with masculinity or femininity, so in this case, as I said, it’s a perfectly acceptable label. But if it doesn’t help the OP navigate the world or understand themselves, then it’s not the right label for them. If gynephilia does help them, then that’s the right term.
Its quite common for some straight men to only be attracted to penises. All men generally have an dying love for their own penis so it make sense that it spreads to some other penises. But here is the things about labels you can really pick whatever you want. You can call yourself bi or straight or whatever label you want.
If you want a label, I feel “polysexuality” fits what you’re describing.
Honestly, I’d just tell people you’re straight though. If trans women are women, then liking transwomen is straight. Any anyone you’re not sleeping with doesn’t have any business inquiring about your partner’s (or your) genitals.
Everyone is sexually fluid and where they sit on the spectrum will depend on the person. Nothing says you need to start dating guys, maybe some occasional porn does it for you?
Polysexuality has been defined as “encompassing or characterized by many different kinds of sexuality”, and as sexual attraction to many, but not all, genders. […] Polysexuality is also considered to be another word for bisexuality however unlike bisexuals, polysexuals are not necessarily attracted to people of the same gender.
I think ‘polysexual’ fits. You like some genders (cis women, trans women, feminine-presenting people, AFAB NBs, etc.), but not all.
I feel like when I was growing up, you just were in a fairly coarse bucket as your label with the assumption that people could have very different preferences within there.
The way I would have characterized what you described as being bi because you are interested in both genders’ genitalia, but had a preference for feminine body types.
You dont habe to be attracted to all genders the same way to be BI. You can have a preference or stronger attraction to certain genders and presentations. If you think that some non-binary people and fem-boys are attractive then ur probably Bi
I understand your position. I feel the exact same way. I identify much like you, I am attracted to the feminine features not whatever label you have or what have been biologically created between your legs.
When I was younger I just told myself “nah I’m straight”, and somewhere realized that i might be what people called “bi-curious”. But after a while I realized I had no interest in masculinity or “regular” males.
Being able to detach social gender labels from biological genitalia and therefore further deepen my understanding and acceptance of trans and LGBTQ people helped me a lot with accepting myself and my preferences.
As for your question, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you know what you like. Who you decide to spend time with or engage in sexual relations with is up to the people involved and no one else. I ultimately decided to still just call myself straight. Is it entirely correct? Maybe not, but it sure is the easiest.
Enjoy life, hook up with a femboy, get pegged or have a one night stand with a 6,8 mega masculine dude. It’s up to you, the thing that matters is that you know what you enjoy.
Life is to short to put labels on dicks and vaginas. Just fuck it instead.
Or just dont label it. Labels keep us in boxes and boxes cause stress when we inevitably find out we dont fit in the box.
I came up with this idea err metaphor? Thought experiment? Anyway
Think of the shape of a 6 point star. If you are star shaped you will fit perfectly, if you are triangle shaped you will also fit, or if you are diamond shaped or a circle or a hexagon or many many other shapes.
You can spend years in the star box thinking its a perfect fit before you realise theres something different, something not quite right and you suddenly see that you were a triangle the whole time.
Just let go of the labels and be you, its alot more spacious outside of the box, and you dont have to be a certain way to fit in.
As a former warehouse employee I can attest to the value of labels. They’re what ensure that when you order a 3/8 box wrench you don’t get shipped a pair of white bunny slippers.
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