devinprater

devinprater, 1 year ago to random

Aww great, there it is, the iPhone pull. "I mean look at Nextcloud," it says. "On Android, because TalkBack's actions menu is so unknown among like, everyone, you have to swipe passed a share button after every app. Look at me, Devin. See how clean my interface is? How sparkly I am? How you don't have to reach and reach and reach to find stuff? How you can hold me in one hand?" "Yeah yeah," I say. "But I can play games on Android! And everything is fast!" "Sure sure," she says. "But you don't even have your game controller with you. Now how fun is playing Dissidia Final Fantasy on your PSP emulator when you have to use onscreen controls? Also Messages for web is broken for some reason. See that? When did Messages for Mac ever break?" "But higher quality voices!" I shout at the phone. She just smiles. "Sure, on Samsung. But you're already contemplating a Pixel because you want to be up-to-date with Android, right? And Google TTS is more sluggish than Samsung TTS. Oh and you did hear how broken the UK Samsung voices are right?" "But it'll get better!" "Yes, you said that years ago when you had the original Pixel." "But you have so many bugs!" She pauses, looking down at her well-worn clothes. "Bugs can be fixed. But fundamental accessibility issues within a whole company, and in Android, and in Google apps, well that takes longer. Oh and that image was of a nice little kitten by the way. I know TalkBack didn't tell you, but..." She leans over seductively. "But I can!" "Oh, and don't forget Google Play Books," she purrs. "That mess. At least my Books app works with the screen reader, no TTS engine needed." "But customization!" She rests her hands, her warm, soft hands, on my cheek. "But features!" She whispers in my ear, "And I'm not slowing down either. Just imagine what I'll be capable of next year!" "USB C," I squeak. "Yes, next year I'll have that too. Then you can use me as your computer, as you strive for on that silly Android."

devinprater, 1 year ago to random

There should be a service where a person brings over a cat for someone to pet and they should call it CatDash! :)