Posts

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Confused the fuck out of some consulting company today because they cold-emailed me at work asking if I'd talk to their clients about stuff. They clearly meant one of the other two Emilies at the same company, but I am emily@company.tld and so people email me a lot when they don't feel like looking up the right email address for the Emily in question and just take a wild guess.

So I stubbornly fill out their form to join their Network(tm), then fill out the other form for the specific client they want me to talk to, mostly with "I am not exposed enough to this side of the business to give useful information" pasted into every text box. Then at the end of this form they ask if I want to decline it, so I finally do.

Less than a minute later they called me, wondering why none of what I entered matches my LinkedIn account.

At this point I finally informed them that I don't have a LinkedIn account.

I hoped they learned a valuable lesson today. If not, I would be happy to charge them the $400/hour they offered me to read to them the entirety of Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

suddenly curious if flat earthers still use the word "global", or if they say "planar" or something

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

no not like that

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@jacqueline I cannot filter that without too many false positives, but thankfully nobody ever calls twitter that so it doesn't matter

jacqueline,
@jacqueline@chaos.social avatar

@emily so you have a better grasp of filtering than elon musk i guess? https://mashable.com/article/twitter-dot-com-posts-change-to-x-dot-com-ios

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

met a snake friend today

emily, to Electronics
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

I had a cursed idea and had to see if I could make it work

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

I am begging fantasy authors to stop showing off their extensive vocabulary of Horse Words

If you have a character refer to a bay they had better be pointing at a concave beach and not a horse

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

I stayed up too late reading wikipedia's list of garlic dishes and now it is nearly 3am and I want fried rice

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

anyway I am https://lichess.org/@/blunderbolts if anyone wants to play chess against someone who used to be reasonably good at chess but then did not play for several years and forgot most of the things

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

it's time for my annual hardware review, in which I iterate through all the categories of devices I really want to give people money for, and see if anyone has made one yet that fulfills my fairly short requirements lists:

  • non-Android non-iOS smartphone that can be bought with the expectation of using it as a handheld communication device and not an OS beta testing device
  • non-cloud robot lawnmower that can handle a nontrivially-sized, US-typical lawn, and is not comically expensive
  • stretch goal (I don't actively want them for any particular reason but I want them to exist and would play with one given the chance): AR/VR devices that are just displays and input devices and not a whole Ecosystem

you may notice I use "non" and "not" a lot in these descriptions. this is because my technology requirements really are largely gathered by looking at things and going "ugh, not that"

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

phones: currently not looking good.

Ubuntu Touch does not support VoLTE, which makes it basically unusable in the US.

PostmarketOS doesn't have a single phone in their compatibility page with fully working camera support.

Purism looks promising from their website but probably moderately janky in practice. I noped away from it when I saw people talking on forums about how to make the phone wake up from sleep on incoming calls.

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

sentences I have found in ebay item listings:

> Get ready to have a perfectly manicured lawn without mentioning its condition in your item description.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

oh shit someone took a big bite out of the sun

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Blargh. Migraine after work, applied drugs and slept for four hours to make it mostly go away.

Had a dream about a tall building held together with three screws, and I found one of them on the ground nearby and was like "oh no, fixing this is my responsibility now". I don't believe in dream interpretation at all in the sense of getting any sort of new information out of them, but damn, the sleepy hallucination lobe accidentally spits out some fun metaphors once in a while.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

it has been 0 days since I had to drill out a tiny hex head screw that became a circle head screw

orders more torx

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

had an idea that needed a bunch of weather forecast data, hacked it together using the US NWS API, getting so many 500s I am slightly concerned that I melted a government server somewhere

provide bulk data dumps you dummies

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Mm. Cardiologist appointments are noticeably different since transitioning.

Cardiologist appointments as a man are like "fuckit, just take your shirt off, display your nipples to the world".

As a woman, I get a robe and a towel while they're poking at my chest with the echocardiothing, and they go out of their way to not look under them and generally be as polite as one can be while intently rubbing a device on a woman's chest.

(nothing is wrong, this is a routine checkup for an Unusual Heart Geometry Issue at birth that has long since stopped being a real issue)

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Unrelated to that, my cardiologist works in a children's hospital so while they do this I get to watch both the pretty galaxy projector thing designed to amuse small children and the HGTV house hunting show they presumably flipped the TV to immediately before I walked in thinking "wait shit what do grownups like"

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

whenever someone abbreviates "capacitors" to "caps" I imagine capacitors wearing little hats

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar
  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • JUstTest
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • cubers
  • cisconetworking
  • osvaldo12
  • magazineikmin
  • Youngstown
  • thenastyranch
  • rosin
  • slotface
  • Durango
  • mdbf
  • khanakhh
  • megavids
  • tacticalgear
  • InstantRegret
  • normalnudes
  • modclub
  • ngwrru68w68
  • everett
  • GTA5RPClips
  • ethstaker
  • anitta
  • Leos
  • tester
  • provamag3
  • lostlight
  • All magazines