@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

emily

@emily@sparkly.uni.horse

I make electronics go beep boop and tools go spinny. Also, I pet cats sometimes.

Follow requests are enabled because bots; if you have literally anything to convince me you're a human and not a complete asshole I will probably accept.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

met a snake friend today

jacqueline, to random
@jacqueline@chaos.social avatar

why does find(1) have such weird-looking arguments. why is it different from everything else. what were they doing

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@jacqueline because they're not just arguments, they're a whole-ass DSL embedded in argv where all the keywords start with -

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

I am begging fantasy authors to stop showing off their extensive vocabulary of Horse Words

If you have a character refer to a bay they had better be pointing at a concave beach and not a horse

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

I stayed up too late reading wikipedia's list of garlic dishes and now it is nearly 3am and I want fried rice

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

anyway I am https://lichess.org/@/blunderbolts if anyone wants to play chess against someone who used to be reasonably good at chess but then did not play for several years and forgot most of the things

Qyriad, to random
@Qyriad@chaos.social avatar

I like the thing where starting a message with @example makes it ambiguous if you started the sentence with a capital letter or not

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@Qyriad alternate universe where there are lowercase and capital @ and they have subtly different meanings in email addresses

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@mrconorae @Qyriad there's also the at-for-all symbol, used to mass address all accounts on a domain

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@mrconorae @Qyriad the code points in the private use area are free, you can just take them

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@mrconorae @Qyriad you just nerd sniped me into spending almost an hour on this joke, I hope you're happy

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@dpnash @mrconorae @Qyriad @recursive honestly I didn't have any better jokes for i and j so I intentionally made them identical :)

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

it's time for my annual hardware review, in which I iterate through all the categories of devices I really want to give people money for, and see if anyone has made one yet that fulfills my fairly short requirements lists:

  • non-Android non-iOS smartphone that can be bought with the expectation of using it as a handheld communication device and not an OS beta testing device
  • non-cloud robot lawnmower that can handle a nontrivially-sized, US-typical lawn, and is not comically expensive
  • stretch goal (I don't actively want them for any particular reason but I want them to exist and would play with one given the chance): AR/VR devices that are just displays and input devices and not a whole Ecosystem

you may notice I use "non" and "not" a lot in these descriptions. this is because my technology requirements really are largely gathered by looking at things and going "ugh, not that"

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

phones: currently not looking good.

Ubuntu Touch does not support VoLTE, which makes it basically unusable in the US.

PostmarketOS doesn't have a single phone in their compatibility page with fully working camera support.

Purism looks promising from their website but probably moderately janky in practice. I noped away from it when I saw people talking on forums about how to make the phone wake up from sleep on incoming calls.

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

also found this invest-in-startups thing via Purism using them, which says I should consider investing in wine or art (https://www.startengine.com/blog/collectibles/)

I don't know why I find this so funny

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

(at least part of it is because of the mental image of a rich person waking up with a hangover and then panicing because they drank all their Investment Wine last night)

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

things robot lawnmower reviewers care about:

  • did the reviewer like the app
  • making stripes on your lawn
  • avoiding children

things I care about:

  • please do not make me use an app
  • making the grass shorter
  • scaring children away

happy to mod the last one in myself by drawing a scary face on it, if they give me an appropriately large surface to do so on

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

sentences I have found in ebay item listings:

> Get ready to have a perfectly manicured lawn without mentioning its condition in your item description.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

oh shit someone took a big bite out of the sun

ailurux, to random
@ailurux@chaos.social avatar

blender's freestyle has a lot more fun options to twiddle than i thought

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@jacqueline @ailurux honestly I can see this being like a cover image on a manual or something

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Blargh. Migraine after work, applied drugs and slept for four hours to make it mostly go away.

Had a dream about a tall building held together with three screws, and I found one of them on the ground nearby and was like "oh no, fixing this is my responsibility now". I don't believe in dream interpretation at all in the sense of getting any sort of new information out of them, but damn, the sleepy hallucination lobe accidentally spits out some fun metaphors once in a while.

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

it has been 0 days since I had to drill out a tiny hex head screw that became a circle head screw

orders more torx

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

had an idea that needed a bunch of weather forecast data, hacked it together using the US NWS API, getting so many 500s I am slightly concerned that I melted a government server somewhere

provide bulk data dumps you dummies

emily, to random
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Mm. Cardiologist appointments are noticeably different since transitioning.

Cardiologist appointments as a man are like "fuckit, just take your shirt off, display your nipples to the world".

As a woman, I get a robe and a towel while they're poking at my chest with the echocardiothing, and they go out of their way to not look under them and generally be as polite as one can be while intently rubbing a device on a woman's chest.

(nothing is wrong, this is a routine checkup for an Unusual Heart Geometry Issue at birth that has long since stopped being a real issue)

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

Unrelated to that, my cardiologist works in a children's hospital so while they do this I get to watch both the pretty galaxy projector thing designed to amuse small children and the HGTV house hunting show they presumably flipped the TV to immediately before I walked in thinking "wait shit what do grownups like"

mlsn, to random
@mlsn@mastodon.mlsn.fr avatar

I finally set up my nginx to send a gzip bomb to scanners that try to hit /wp-* stuff because there ain't no wordpress on my website thank you very much

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@mlsn Done :D I went with 100MB of '<'. 100MB to not waste so much of my own bandwidth (gzip is bad; you wouldn't think gzip | gzip would do anything but it does), '<' because that sounds like it might crash an HTML parser somewhere.

emily,
@emily@sparkly.uni.horse avatar

@mlsn future Em is going to be so fucking confused if she ever tries to set up wordpress

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • anitta
  • ngwrru68w68
  • hgfsjryuu7
  • Youngstown
  • tacticalgear
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • InstantRegret
  • cubers
  • kavyap
  • osvaldo12
  • thenastyranch
  • DreamBathrooms
  • PowerRangers
  • tester
  • magazineikmin
  • khanakhh
  • GTA5RPClips
  • Durango
  • normalnudes
  • ethstaker
  • mdbf
  • everett
  • modclub
  • cisconetworking
  • Leos
  • vwfavf
  • provamag3
  • All magazines
    •