@monsoonrains@mastodon.social
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

monsoonrains

@monsoonrains@mastodon.social

(Terms & Conditions Apply)

Copy/Writer, Content/Marketer, Chaos/Witch

Apocalyptic fatalist

No pronouns. Do not refer to us.

Sometimes English, sometimes German. Mostly nonsense.

Фук ю!

Follow at own mental health risk.

Neuroatypical, ace/demi panromantic, gender-free, (Irish/South African) cultural mongrel.

In Germany longer than I care to remember.

Often drunk.

Amazing Aladin & Samuel Crunchberg's other parent.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Reasons why Trump's trial was clearly RIGGED:

-The jury was literate, meaning they may have been influenced by WOKE documents.

-President Trump was never offered a bed or pillow, forcing him to sleep at his hard table during the trial.

-The judge was dressed in black, an ANTIFA color.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts Omg this was the same in school for me.

No beds. Not even a sofa. Just a stupid table.

Ridiculous.

atomicpoet, to random
@atomicpoet@atomicpoet.org avatar

I’ll be honest. I didn’t expect Trump to be found guilty.

I’m still skeptical, though, that he’ll see prison.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@atomicpoet Same, sadly.

w7voa, to random
@w7voa@journa.host avatar

In NYC hush money case, the verdict is being read. Donald J. Trump GUILTY on counts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 so far.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@w7voa Happy face

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

Me: "I think you're gambling too much."

Friend: "You're one to talk. With your muscle relaxer addiction."

Me: collapses onto the floor and starts snoring heavily

Daojoan, to random
@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar

Every single time:

“We created Bullshit Startup ™️ to empower teams to do their best work through AI and collaboration tools blah blah blah”

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@Daojoan The one startup I did work for was at least honest.

Affiliate marketing to make ca$hmonies with ads.

Used a lot of this bullshit phrasing in the copy. Taught me a lot.

jayguevara82, to random German
@jayguevara82@nrw.social avatar
monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@jayguevara82 Oh, I know them. Wish I didn't.

They still owe me money.

hungry_joe, to random
@hungry_joe@mas.to avatar

Cum Pilot

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@hungry_joe Poo Gun Designer?

Just doesn't have a good ring...

stavvers, to random
@stavvers@masto.ai avatar

Love the environment and all that but I am WAY too dyspraxic to deal with those new tiny, attached bottle lids that you get on plastic bottles these days and just fucking can't put them back on again tight enough to not fucking spill everywhere

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@stavvers I am not dyspraxic at all but I hate them because same.

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

I'm sorry white asparagus.

WHITE SPURGIS

Boiled pasty white willies.

Get out of my house 😤

DamnInteresting, to random
@DamnInteresting@mastodon.cloud avatar

You leave a 'microbe fingerprint' on every piece of clothing you wear—and it could help forensic scientists solve crimes
https://phys.org/news/2024-05-microbe-fingerprint-piece-forensic-scientists.html?utm_source=DamnInteresting

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@DamnInteresting Thanks for the heads-up.

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

Back in the Olden Days, before you could get the Internet on computers, we had to get our social media posts with these devices.

schratze, to random German
@schratze@todon.nl avatar

Sieben Regeln, die es zu beachten gilt, wenn du in Deutschland mit Regionalzügen unterwegs bist:

  1. Immer erst aussteigen lassen, dann einsteigen
  2. Nicht im Türbereich stehen bleiben
  3. Kein Gepäck auf Sitzplätzen abstellen
  4. Nicht auf den RE6 verlassen
  5. Sitzplatz ggf. Mitreisenden anbieten, die ihn dringender brauchen
  6. Nicht auf den RE6 verlassen
  7. Nicht auf den RE6 verlassen
monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@schratze 1) Anybody who disobeys this should be followed by the Game of Thrones shame nun for 24 hours.

Utter wankers.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@schratze Inconsiderate Asshole Tax.

It shocks me how different it is to the UK or Ireland. You get train assholes there too, but my God, nowhere on the German scale.

thj, to random
@thj@mastodon.social avatar

"Pacific Ocean" implies the existence of a mysterious yet to be discovered "Hostile Ocean". Rig the sails. We've got some exploring to do!

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@thj Is that not the Atlantic

davidnjoku, to Netflix
@davidnjoku@mastodon.world avatar

I really dislike the way somehow manages to make everyone in the world watch the same thing for a week, and then we all move on.

Remember Birdbox? Average movie, but I bet you haven't thought of it in years.

Remember Don't Look Up. Very good movie. Bet you haven't thought of it either.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@davidnjoku OK so personally I never watched Don't Look Up because if I wanted to see a dystopia run by idiots I'd just go outside.

18+ schratze, to random
@schratze@todon.nl avatar

Went to the eye doctor and they gave me some eye drops to dilate the pupils. I can't see shit now

Usually having pupils the size of dinner plates is a sign of having fun

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@schratze No big pupil pills for me these days. Only downside of Prozac.

davidnjoku, to random
@davidnjoku@mastodon.world avatar

3 Stages in the life of a Crocs owner:

STAGE 1: God, those things are so ugly. What kind of person would wear a thing like that?!

STAGE 2: I'll get myself a pair to wear around the house and in the back garden. I hope the neighbours don't see me wearing them!

STAGE 3: These things are so comfortable. You know what, I'll just wear them into town. They're not that ugly, are they?

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@davidnjoku IMO all shoes are horrible.

Don't have Crocs but would rather them than gross sweaty feet in the summer!

ebel, to random
@ebel@moytura.org avatar

the web, html and web browsers were too powerful

so the Powers That Be made native apps

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@ebel And now we have to have an app for every effing thing.

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

I think the most terrifying thing about Sunny Delight is that it isn't orange juice.

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

The best thing about remote work?

No more having to pretend to laugh at that stupid fucking video of Christmas elves dancing with colleagues heads superimposed on them every God damn year.

I swear if I am ever made see that again I will destroy the offenders computer.

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

Free expression as Revolution

F.E.A.R

hungry_joe, to random
@hungry_joe@mas.to avatar

i literally can't open ANY social media in public. THIS IS MY LINKEDIN

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@hungry_joe I utterly love this. Omfg.

May I have your LinkedIn?

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@hungry_joe Just sent you a connection. Name is Liam Hennessy 😁

monsoonrains, to random
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

Germans: "Oooh, es ist *Spargelzeit💜!! Let's get lots of white asparagus..."

Me: "GIMME ME FUCKING GREEN SPURGIS NOM NOM BUTTER ARGU WHAT IS THIS WHITE SHIT."

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@schratze Ugh. All I need is just butter and salt. Or actually just salt. Same how I eat broccoli. Maybe I'm just picking up on the flavor myself.

Actually what you described kinda reminds me of European avocados. Which is why I don't eat them in Europe anymore.

monsoonrains,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@schratze I dunno, Schratze my dear, all I want is an African avo in me.

She makes me feel so good. And she's so big. 💜

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