@shortridge@hachyderm.io
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

shortridge

@shortridge@hachyderm.io

Senior Director @Fastly | author of Security Chaos Engineering: Sustaining Resilience in Software & Systems (O'Reilly)

resilience + complex systems | bringing software security out of the dark ages

&void; | daedric prince of chaos | previously @swagitda_

“In the information society, nobody thinks. We expected to banish paper, but we actually banished thought."

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shortridge, to random
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

OH: “None of these galactic fuckheads seem to realize YAML’s a goddamn data exchange format, not the fuckin’ language of the spheres, forged by the seraphim at the dawn of time, held securely in its place of honor in this one directory that’s checked into git”

👀 hello stans

shortridge, to random
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

a sales rep from a vendor reached out to my work email asking if I’ve thought about using chaos engineering

how should I respond?

I’m tempted to reply, “never heard of it”

shortridge, to random
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

some days it feels like if I read one more sentence putrefied by passive voice, my brain will implode.

they do not warn liberal arts majors of this hazard before entering the tech industry.

shortridge,
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one day I will write a, “here are the top ~7 ways to dramatically improve your technical writing” guide for engineers.

because passive voice influences clarity, not just style, and even adds friction for neurodivergents who can’t stomach extended slogs through passive voice without their attention drifting.

eg “A review will be performed before project launch so readiness is assessed.” Who will perform the review?? Often the answer is “we don’t know”; passive voice is pernicious like that.

shortridge,
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@narthur my go-to is “by zombies,” but monkeys totally works, too

shortridge,
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@lita I love your framing of it as “tactical information”! Can I borrow that (with attribution) if I end up writing the post?

mjg59, to random
@mjg59@nondeterministic.computer avatar

I suggested this for a conference and it (understandably!) didn't get accepted, but who'd be interested in me doing a recorded presentation on the similarities and differences between hardware-backed computer identity and the genetics of sex?

shortridge,
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@mjg59 yes

hllizi, to random German
@hllizi@hespere.de avatar

I am re-reading Dune. This quote by the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam is remarkable:

“Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.”

It's not about a Terminator-style AI-apocalypse where the machines want to kill us all dead. It's just an accurate prediction of what actually appears to be happening.

shortridge,
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@hllizi @kaoudis you’d enjoy “the Technological Society” by Ellul (enjoy might be a stretch, because it’s honestly pretty haunting how accurately he foretold our current societal dynamics)

shortridge, to random
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me: I haven’t ever hiked in Slovakia. You can say I… haven’t been keeping up with the Carpathians.

them: 😕🫣😑

shortridge, to security
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

in the spirit of transparency, here’s our response to CISA’s RFI on Secure by Design: https://kellyshortridge.com/papers/CISA-2023-0027-Shortridge-Sensemaking.pdf

SbD should not incentivize lip service or theater. It should not be at odds with business goals.

So, @rpetrich and I wrote what SbD should be and not be.

We hope mastonerds especially appreciate our recommendations in Section 1.2.1 for how teams can start investing in SbD while supporting velocity, dev productivity, & reliability.

blog: https://kellyshortridge.com/blog/posts/rfi-secure-by-design-response/

shortridge,
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

I really think people in the infosec industry and .gov do not understand the type of horrifically insecure shit customers request of software vendors — even customers who are security leaders!

At one company, a large customer asked us to, in effect, build a remote access trojan (RAT) into the product.

I refused, for what I hope are obvious reasons.

A decent chunk of the software problem is heinous architectures festering with tech debt and blaming software providers won’t fix that.

shortridge, to random
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

hello fediverse, it’s the weekend in most places and I know you’re doing some nerd shit (which isn’t limited to computers!)

please share your nerdy hobby projects with me so we can all share in some wholesome dopamine harvesting ✨

things that count in my mind: computers, gardening, knitting, metalworking, flower arranging, glassblowing, felt needling, organizing, woodworking, scrapbooking, elaborate cat castle building, house DIY projects, basically anything with niche interest + skillset

shortridge,
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I will go first: I’m switching between working on the Secure by Design RFI response (h/t @boblord) and planting some cuttings that have finally sprouted roots from a friend’s plant I nurtured back to life (shown in the pic).

shortridge,
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@snare the Seymour motif tho 💀💀💀 love it

shortridge,
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@thiagocsf I am also a bamboo parent, and this is super clever

shortridge,
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@wrkyle omg I’m mad jelly… I’m guessing low light pollution where you are?

shortridge,
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@snare @pepperraccoon iconic tbh

shortridge,
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@wrkyle oh interesting, the guide I read last year suggested low light pollution places are best to view it — iirc those without street lights that automatically turn on based on light levels?

shortridge,
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@gettingcomputey definitely make a video as a treat for yourself imo

shortridge,
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@daniel okay but where’s the pic of the railroad itself???

shortridge,
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@Kensan yessssss success

shortridge,
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@jonodrew 🔥🔥🔥 incredible

shortridge,
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@jond this is absolutely fascinating and sounds like delightful detective work

shortridge, to random
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I wish there were more crystal girlies in tech.

They wouldn’t blame an incident on “human error,” they’d be scouring traces for unwanted energy, probing liminal spaces for malevolent spirits, writing new spells-as-code for automated cleansing.

Key contributing factors would be trickster fae, confusing incantations, unsafe reagents.

When Neptune is ascendant, they’ll update the test suite and save your ass. Saturn in transit? She’ll verify the observability pipeline by moonlight just in case.

shortridge,
@shortridge@hachyderm.io avatar

Everyone’s nervous about a deploy? She whips out the tarot deck from her tote bag and gives a reading.

“10 of Wands for the past, makes sense, these past few sprints have been slogs.”

“For the present: The Chariot — that’s a good sign. It should deploy fine today!”

“And for the future… the Eight of Swords. Well, the good news is our coven will be learning a lot soon! The bad news is the deploy will eventually blow prod up, so I’ll add doing daily chakra unblocking meditations to JIRA.”

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