Sounds good to me and I'm a couple letters behind Gen Z. Either the scenes don't do anything for me, in which case they're boring, or they do something for me, in which case...what do I do when it's over? Do I pause and go take care of it, or sit there all hot and bothered while somebody talks about business stuff or getting the bad guys or whatever? Either way it's annoying. And I'm no prude, it's just, if I want to see sex I'll just watch porn. But I'm not watching porn, I'm trying to watch a story. IDK. It's like if the mall decided every store needed a stripper pole.
I don’t mean what you use to chop down your feces, but an object that you realized only your family has and people would raise their eyebrows at. Best if said object has a sole purpose.
Face scrubber. I was given a small crocheted dish scrubber - sort of like these - made from very soft tulle. It's too soft to be effective on dishes, but it works perfectly on my face.
Unsurprising. $78k/yr comes out to $2194/mo take home pay per Smartasset's calculator. Average rent is well over $1k/mo with no signs of going down any time soon. Landlords frequently demand potential renters have an income of 3x the rent. Gotta live somewhere.
Apparently I'm stupid but I'm too tired to fix it rn so I will just leave my shame up here for all to see. My point is being alive is expensive and bad math or no I'm still not surprised to see this.
Edit again because I'm also too stupid to do a strikethrough correctly even with a formatting bar right there. FML and F this phone too, I'm going to bed
The one that comes most vividly to my mind (and I make fun of all the time) “The Survivors” I just couldn’t STAND that music box and the Deanna’s reaction to it.
Sub Rosa. I was going to say that one too. Definitely one of McFadden's best performances on the show, which is a real shame because the episode itself is such a turkey I can't watch it. Feels like the writer read Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches trilogy and couldn't resist inflicting their Equate brand Lasher on the viewers.
The panther is like a leopard,
Except it hasn't been peppered.
Should you behold a panther crouch,
Prepare to say Ouch.
Better yet, if called by a panther,
Don't anther.
Image text: @agnieszkasshoes: “Part of what makes small talk so utterly debilitating for many of us who are neurodivergent is that having to smile and lie in answer to questions like, “how are you?” is exhausting to do even once, and society makes us do it countless times a day.”...
It made more sense when I started thinking of humans as animals. In that context it's like dogs sniffing butts or ants touching antennae when they meet. I eventually settled on a few generic responses that felt less fake than "fine" (idk why "fine" rankles me so much but "not too bad" doesn't, but eh) but didn't elicit further questions, and that made it slightly easier.
I agree with the other commenters that you should spend some time outside your comfort zone but pace yourself very carefully. The article mentioned a proximal zone that's outside but adjacent to the comfort zone. I think it's good to mostly shoot for that with occasional planned forays further out just to test yourself.
IMO nobody should be telling you when to go outside your comfort zone or how far, or whether you're doing it enough, unless it's someone close to you whose opinion you can trust and who you know will hear you out when you say you're overwhelmed. And even then you still have veto power because you're the one who has to deal with the fallout if you push yourself too far and melt down or burn out. I don't ever see any NT folks volunteering to help people clean up their life after that except maybe social workers and therapists.
The flip side of this is that since nobody can tell you how much is too much, you're responsible for monitoring that yourself and communicating or removing yourself before you get overwhelmed. That's a good use for the proximal zone - testing your boundaries and keeping an eye on your mood so you can learn to spot when you are approaching your limit. Easier said than done, but I've found it worth the effort. And it gets easier with time.
The other thing to recognize is that some days your comfort zone is pretty big and other days it's about as big as your bed. Asking yourself "how big is my comfort zone today" helps you give yourself some grace. If it's a bed day and you got out of bed, you already exited your comfort zone and should factor that in when you plan your day.
Being a responsible adult with ADHD means kind of doing both in a controlled way. What I mean by that is, ADHD gives you some deficits and difficulties. On the one hand, you can't use it as an excuse to not work on those difficulties and do your best. On the other hand, you also shouldn't be hard on yourself if your best sometimes doesn't measure up to other people's expectations. And for your sanity you should always give yourself breaks from working on yourself.
When I was a teenager, I used to recall my earlier childhood memories being rose tinted and almost dreamlike, now that I’m in my early 20s, my memories of my early to middle teenage years are also becoming dreamy and rose tinted in a way. Does anyone experience this? Is it possible that I will I remember my early adult years...
Somewhat. I still have some of the visual images in my head, but the memory of how I felt at those times is gone or very faded. Often the memories feel, not exactly dreamlike, but like I am looking at a diorama or one of those paperweights that has a scene encased in resin, forever visible but inaccessible.
I've started to forget my dad's voice a bit and it scares me. I don't want to forget anything about him ever.
My therapist said that you don't really remember things, you just remember the last time you remembered them. Like a copy of a copy. And that's how memories get distorted over time. So it's like, am I ruining those memories by remembering them, like a tape you play over and over til you wear it out? Or should I play the tapes anyway in case I hit my head or have a stroke or something and lose a bunch of them?
White supremacists are like that guy nobody ever wants at their party but who always invites himself anyway. It's hard enough to keep him from washing his balls in the punch bowl when you're actively trying to keep him out. Meta doesn't even try except to the meager extent required by law.
I think I get what you're saying, and there was a time when I would've agreed. I spent more years than I care to admit on 4chan, years I wouldn't have spent if I didn't think there was some value to people expressing their opinions no matter what they were. But...I dunno man, it's not a ton of people, but I wouldn't call it a "very small" number of people. Also the issue I'm getting at isn't that they have a platform, it's that if you let them they will try to make every platform their platform. And if it's an organized group they will do so in an organized way that is not the same as Uncle Ted cocking off about immigrants again or whatever.
You're correct that you don't have to look at their profile, any more than you have to drink the pube punch. The issue isn't that I had to see the words of meanies. The issue is that allowing white supremacists to use your platform a) makes it look like the platform condones such things, which reflects both on the platform and the other users, which may cause the non-extremist users to leave if it gets bad enough, this tipping the balance of users more in the extremists' favor; and b) encourages people who agree with them. And the number of people who think certain people shouldn't have rights doesn't have to be very big for them to decide to organize and do something about it, including egging others on.
Also you mentioned tweets, so I should apologize for not clarifying before. When expressing concern over extremists inviting themselves, I was not thinking about Twitter so much as I was thinking about the fediverse. I'm more concerned with what people are trying to build here than with whatever it is they're doing at Twitter these days. Elon's gonna Elon and we can't control that. We can, though, choose what company we keep here.
Yup. Also applies if you're diagnosed but having to rawdog all of it because your body can't tolerate either ADHD meds or antidepressants. So you're stuck trying to kludge together solutions with behavioral, cognitive and lifestyle changes and it's like trying to build a sand castle with powdered sugar. Maybe you can make something stick together a bit, but one big sneeze and it's all gone.
My phone has been a lifesaver for remembering things. I grew up in the days of paper planners, so it's a real treat to be able to set up reminders etc. Prior to that I used lists and post-it notes. Post-it notes are tricky because if you use them a lot they become part of the scenery, so getting an assortment and changing to a different color note helped me to notice them.
For developing habits, instead of "do it for 30 days and it'll stick" (lmao) I try to shoot for progressively more consistency over time. So when getting back in the habit of flossing, every day was overwhelming but I could do once per week which was better than nothing. Then every other day. Now I do it daily. Does this work with everything? No but when it works it works. In other words don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Some > none.
Mindfulness is not a cure-all but it is a good building block. I practiced just being present and noticing my thoughts. Noticing thoughts allowed me to start observing my train of thought to see where exactly it derails and keeps me from getting things done. If I can figure out where I'm getting distracted I can create workarounds for those. Sometimes I have to literally make a diagram of the thought pattern, like a flowchart, to see what's happening.
I also made a list of my main goals in life including the pedestrian ones like eating healthier and doing creative things, and posted a thing on my fridge to help remember to do something towards those goals every day that I feel up to it. That cuts down on the amount of time I spend in neutral gear wondering what to do with my time. If I don't know wtf else to do then at least I can do something small that will advance a life goal.
The last thing I'll say is give yourself some grace. Nobody has their shit together. Some people just fake it better. Reward yourself whenever you make progress and go out of your way to point out to yourself when you accomplished something or successfully used a cognitive tool. That voice in your head that says you're dumb and can't do anything? It's a jerk, don't listen to it. Go out of your way to rub your successes in its face.
You find yourself in a room with people. Everyone else is someone you have had sex with in your life.
What happens next?
What's an easy yet useful skill that everyone should learn?
Q: What is vulcanized rubber? (pixelfed.social)
A: Spock’s birth control.
Gen Z is turned off by onscreen sex, wants no-mance over romance, a new study finds (www.latimes.com)
What's your houses equivalent of a poop knife.
I don’t mean what you use to chop down your feces, but an object that you realized only your family has and people would raise their eyebrows at. Best if said object has a sole purpose.
A Big New Report on American Children Is Out. It’s Horrific. (slate.com)
Wage demands hit record high: Average job seeker wants at least $78k (www.axios.com)
Wouldn't even hurt a fly (lemmy.world)
What's your least favorite episode of Star Trek (any non nutrek series) (lemmy.world)
The one that comes most vividly to my mind (and I make fun of all the time) “The Survivors” I just couldn’t STAND that music box and the Deanna’s reaction to it.
Prevent the fires (lemmygrad.ml)
Black panthers are not an actual species - they are jaguars and leopards with melanism, the opposite of albinism (lemmy.world)
Thoughts on why small talk is so uniquely painful (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
Image text: @agnieszkasshoes: “Part of what makes small talk so utterly debilitating for many of us who are neurodivergent is that having to smile and lie in answer to questions like, “how are you?” is exhausting to do even once, and society makes us do it countless times a day.”...
"Please stop telling me to leave my comfort zone" (www.theguardian.com)
I came across this article from 2018 and it really spoke to me as a late-diagnosed autistic only just learning what “comfortable” feels like.
The FTM's Complete Guide to Looking Like a Hot Dude (ftmguide.rassaku.net)
Land use in the US (lemmy.ml)
Source
Hot dogs and eggs jello!
Duality of ADHD (one of many) (i.imgur.com)
Adult live with unmedicated adhd in a nutshell (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
I fell like the critic in me is stronger, but i really can’t compare myself to neurotypical standards
Do you feel that your memories, especially those of your youth days become more dreamlike as the years go on?
When I was a teenager, I used to recall my earlier childhood memories being rose tinted and almost dreamlike, now that I’m in my early 20s, my memories of my early to middle teenage years are also becoming dreamy and rose tinted in a way. Does anyone experience this? Is it possible that I will I remember my early adult years...
Far-right figures, including Nazi supporters, anti-gay extremists, and white supremacists, are flocking to Threads (www.mediamatters.org)
How untreated ADHD can trap you in depression (i.postimg.cc)
Should beehaw defederate from meta?
I think it should. Has it defederated and does it plan to?
Reddit activated a word filter that whenever you say "fuck spez", your comment won't show up for anyone else. I just tested it on ModCoord. they're also deleting spez memes from the subs they nuked lol
r/ModCoord: The admins in charge of demodded subreddits are mass-removing images of Huffman previously shared on them...