Not The Onion

Can Mississippi permanently strip felons of voting rights? 19 federal judges will hear the case (apnews.com)

Under the Mississippi Constitution, people convicted of 10 specific felonies, including bribery, theft and arson, lose the right to vote. Under a previous state attorney general, the list was expanded to 22 crimes, including timber larceny — felling and stealing trees from someone else’s property — and carjacking....

Alleged pickleball masturbator nabbed after Columbia Pike peeping incident (www.arlnow.com)

A man whose stroke on the pickleball court was most unwelcome has allegedly been identified and arrested. Police say a 49-year-old Arlington resident was taken into custody Monday after a peeping incident along Columbia Pike Friday night. Just before 7 p.m. Friday, according to Arlington County police, the man was spotted...

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