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Hossenfeffer, in Idaho bar celebrates "Heterosexual Awesomeness Month" with free beer for straight men

It’s not gay if there are no ladies present, right?

Zozano,

Ladies are normally attracted to men.

Isn’t it better to get a blowjob from someone who is so straight they only think about women?

smeg, in Mystery as Newcastle doctor finds live goldfish in his garden

Given that there were flying creatures (with beaks capable of lifting it from a neighbours pond) arguing over it I’m not sure this is a job for Sherlock Holmes

smeg,

To be fair I’ve now read the article and they did think of this

Dr Beska suspected a bird had picked up the fish from a nearby pond and dropped it while carrying it away.

However, he said, there were no ponds close by and he thought it must therefore have travelled a “reasonable distance”.

gndagreborn, (edited ) in North Korea to stop sending trash, poop balloons after South Korea vows strong retaliation
@gndagreborn@lemmy.world avatar

“BTS Dynamite with severe audio clipping played in an infinite loop can be used to destroy enemy morale” - an actual military official

mosiacmango, in North Korea to stop sending trash, poop balloons after South Korea vows strong retaliation

South korea should send thousands of balloons with food, books and instructions about how to sabotage industrial machines.

Emperor,

And porn - it’ll blow their… minds.

Kolanaki, in North Korea to stop sending trash, poop balloons after South Korea vows strong retaliation
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

SK vows strong retaliation

They’re gonna send even smellier poop!

Emperor,

They’ve been in touch and I started The Special Diet last week. The curried lentils and eggs are starting to kick in hard now.

taldennz, in North Korea to stop sending trash, poop balloons after South Korea vows strong retaliation

No shit.

errer,

Actually quite a bit of shit…

Emperor, in North Korea to stop sending trash, poop balloons after South Korea vows strong retaliation

“How did the world end grandpa?”

“Well they were crazy times back then, ex and prospective presidents were convicted of paying hush money to a porn star and, little did we know where that would end. But the first step on the road to the downfall of civilisation actually happened with some balloons carrying poop.”

HumanPenguin,

Just to keep the shit accurate.

He was convicted of false accounting. For classing his personal election legal/bribes costs. As buisness costs.

Paying hush money is not actially a crime. Your Buisness paying political donations to yourself without identification as such is a crime.

Emperor,

Tell that to future grandpa living in a cave to escape the hellscape of the surface, but I don’t think his main consideration is ensuring his tales of The Beforetimes are properly fact-checked.

HumanPenguin,

Grin.

ashok36, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

My first thought: “Good for them.”

Emperor,

Crabs gotta eat.

umbrella, in Electric spoon that makes food taste saltier goes on sale in Japan
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

this is unironically cool af tho

pearsaltchocolatebar,

Now let’s do it for sugar

Lucidlethargy, (edited )

Yeah, it’s a great idea in theory! Often we eat things where the salt is mixed in - yet by moving the salt forward, it does help.

An example of this without the electro-spoon is salting unsalted butter on bread before eating it.

Zip2, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

Do they taste like coconut too?

jordanlund,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you for subscribing to Crab Facts:

www.ranker.com/list/…/jen-jeffers

(Site is cancer on mobile)

“Apparently, coconut crabs taste very similar to lobster or regular crab meat. The fat in the abdomen and the eggs inside the female are considered the most delicious parts, and they can be prepared by steaming or boiling them, preferably in coconut milk.

Although the crab is not known to be poisonous, it is believed they can become toxic after eating certain plants for a long period of time. That said, they are generally not sold or eaten on a normal basis. In fact, eating a coconut crab on Christmas Island is a $5,500 fine.”

_g_be,

eating a coconut crab on Christmas Island is a $5,500 fine

So it’s strictly a to-go spot

Subverb, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

Dad a chum? Dad a chick?

xhieron,
@xhieron@lemmy.world avatar

Ded a chek?

muse,
@muse@fedia.io avatar

Dod a chock?

Zip2, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

How the hell did they down the plane? Or know she was coming?

Too many questions.

Emperor, (edited )

Perhaps one sneaked on the plane…

edit: Crabs on a Plane?

jordanlund,
@jordanlund@lemmy.world avatar

Amelia was an inside job! Wake up sheeple!

Zip2,

Yeah, may be two of them dressed up in a trench coat.

Hossenfeffer,

How the hell did they down the plane?

Crab to air missile. Standard.

Or know she was coming?

Craydar

Too many questions.

Are you shore? Don’t clam up, I shrimplore you: ask away and I shell try to answer them all.

Zip2,

I didn’t realise they could afford those missiles as they were feeling the pinch.

MintyFresh,

This all seems awfully fishy

skeezix,

Your mom pussy so big she has coconut crabs.

ChicoSuave,

Coconut crabs are heavy. Heaviest crab on earth. It also climbs trees, the most common is the coconut tree for which it is named. Those claws open coconuts like soft butter, which is specifically why they are called coconut crabs. So, with those details, here’s how a coconut crab hurt aviation history:

A colony of crabs climbs a coconut tree. The weight of so many crabs that high in a tree causes the tree to lean, allowing more crabs to climb. Crab critical mass is reached and the tree, bent over like an arch, starts to lose crabs. Being crabs, they drag each other down as a crabalanche clears the palm of all but a lone coconut crab. The tree snaps back upright and hurls the lonely crab into the sky.

Coconut crabs are unable to swim, so it had little choice but to struggle and grab at anything - like a low flying aircraft. Scared, lost, and cold, the crab frantically grabs at anything it can reach, but her aircraft is cloth covered wood spars. Frantic, clumsy claws punch holes in cloth and splinter wood. Amelia has no control as the plane tumbles to earth, splattering across the deserted islands below. She never stood a chance against the crabs.

We got the crabs in the end though. When the South Pacific was chosen wasn’t the remoteness of the islands that gave us the perfect target to test nukes during the 50s; it was revenge.

Emperor,

Seems plausible but I’d want to see the math, the monster (crab) math.

sir_pronoun, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

This is something I didn’t want to read, thanks, I hate it

itsgroundhogdayagain, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart
Cyclist, in The Biggest Crabs In the World May Have Eaten Amelia Earhart

I fucking hate mud crabs.

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