@aparna@OftOverthinking I think it's mostly the other way around--that overwhelming womanhood is idiosyncratic, dynamic, prone to change, and that there is no one goal--and that those goals shift and change over time. So, you don't go for perfection or idealism, but the practical goodness that fits that current instantiation, knowing and embracing the possible later change--that you got it "wrong" earlier--as a wonderful thing, not a frightful one.