@aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

aparna

@aparna@chaosfem.tw

A nice little egg, nurtured for 40+ years, but is now wondering if it’s safe to come out of the shell. Treads on egg shells for that reason. Isn’t afraid of using mixed metaphors, as you’d notice.

May geek out occasionally, but this is not the account for that.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

aparna, to random
@aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

Important tip: “does @lisamelton think this piece of news is important?”is often a good heuristic to filter news signals from the noise.

aparna, to random
@aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

Morning fedi-fam! 897+ new messages to wade through in home screen. My follows continue to be US-centric. 😀

(Neither a good nor a bad thing. It’s just what it is)

rooster, to random
@rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

deleted_by_author

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    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @lisamelton @rooster Yes you, Lisa. I concur. 😀

    ChloeCat, to random

    "Transbian" sounds a little too much like a debian-based linux distribution

    • posted by Chloe
    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @ChloeCat Immediately to be mansplained by someone to be “Actually, it’s GNU/ Transbian”…

    aparna, to random
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Just been reading the last chapter. (Yes, I’m reading the last chapter first; blame the doc for this 🤷🏻‍♀️)

    It is every bit breathtaking as @Impossible_PhD suggests.
    https://hachyderm.io/

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @OftOverthinking This bit resonated with me quite a bit. You become “Extremely Woman” (“mujerísima”) by modestly being good enough (“suficientemente bueno”) per your definition.

    I hope I got it right, @Impossible_PhD Trying to summarise here.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD @OftOverthinking Didn’t express it well (see, this is why you should be in the newsletter writing business 😀) but yes; my understanding is exactly what you shared.

    No perfect goal, certainly none set by others; you are good enough per what you’ve set for yourself. 😊

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD @OftOverthinking When I teach, I get mildly annoyed when my students start discussing my reading material with me even before class.

    So in that spirit, will hold off discussion until after you’ve published your piece 😊

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I mentioned this in a thread, but I wanted to show the femmes out there what I mean when I walk about the Heel Drop Trick for boobs.

    Stand on your tippy toes in front of a mirror, and then quickly drop to your heels.

    Here's a video illustrating it.

    You know. For Science.

    video/mp4

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD Clicking fav only for science.

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    Going for a mujerisima vibe at work today (I don't know how to do the right accents on mobile).

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD ¿Mujerísima?

    If you’re on iOS, deep press the letter. You’ll get a few options. Select the letter you want.😊

    Y si, tu mirada es muy bonita. 😊

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD Depending on the version, the same trick may just work on Android as well. If not, I usually switch to French Canadian keyboard, which would involve a few more steps. 😊

    Will have to read up on the philosophy. I kind of understand the term from my A1 level Spanish, and I’ve heard mujerismo (“womanism”?) before. Just may have to add A Short History of Trans Misogyny to my reading list now!

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD So it turns out my (American, top 20, but based in the South) university’s digital library does have a copy, but only as a 11 page sample. Would you believe it?!

    I see the last chapter is titled Mujerísima (with a single accent on i). Found myself nodding my head reading the little sample here; let’s see if I can get a bigger edition from somewhere!

    (Yeah, Gboard’s predictive text is terrible)

    JoscelynTransient, to random
    @JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

    I'm feeling so worn down the last few days. I am failing to keep up with a lot of things in my life and I've fallen so far behind something will give soon and I'm not sure what. And the news just makes me feel rather hopeless for the near future too.

    I really do feel like giving up. On everything. Almost every night for the past month or two. I know I will wake up tomorrow and not just tread water but swim, like I do every day. But for tonight, I am just going to fail and allow myself to fail utterly.

    Maybe some day I won't go to bed almost every night feeling like I don't think I an bear to wake up to another day. But maybe I won't. Maybe this is just what it is to live with my brain in this world now. Either way, it's still worth it. You all are still worth it. And we will wake up tomorrow and make things worth it again.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @JoscelynTransient 🫂🫂🫂

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster I’m now okay to write stuff on my phone but need a big screen for design and when I need to refer some other else.

    The latter happens 99% of the time, so.

    JoscelynTransient, to random
    @JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

    I have several essays I feel a deep compulsion to write, but do not yet have the time/energy between my two jobs and other projects.

    This most likely means y'all are going to be flooded with essays come this summer on topics like:

    1. what is horny horror and why?
    2. abolitionist trans thought
    3. Foucault and Orange is the New Black
    4. how a fear of not being middle class has coopted the trans liberation movement in the US and elsewhere
    5. how class impacts social media communication etiquette and conflict styles
    6. how material class conditions shape how we understand the interiorities and externalities of transness
    7. Harley Quinn as queer trans allegory
    8. why am I like this?
    9. the undead as metaphors for transness
    10. sloths
    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @JoscelynTransient Looking forward to them all! 😊

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

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    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster One day at a time. You got this! 😊👍🏽

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    I've been sitting on this all day.

    My therapist took a vacation last week, and on the plane she happened to sit next to a trio of transfems. Apparently, they got to talking, and she offhandedly mentioned SGW.

    And apparently all three of the transfems read it regularly.

    When she told me, it just left me flabbergasted. It just seems so surreal for that sorts thing to happen, for people to be talking about my writing like that.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD Sometimes our writings take on a form that we don’t fully appreciate. Happens to all good writers. That there aren’t too many other good writers in this space only adds to the effect.

    My only advice: Get used to this. 😊👍🏽

    Dani, to random
    @Dani@mastodon.sandwich.net avatar

    Today is a lousy day in my personal calendar. 6 years since my first daughter was stillborn. Just a freak occurrence, nothing that could have been done, but.

    She was loved, and wanted, but it wasn't to be.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani My condolences. I’ve had a son who was born at 26 weeks, and whose lungs gave way in front of me. Six years back as well (but not to the day) I think of him much.

    Here’s wishing you find closure, if you haven’t already.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani Second one for us. I’m the only one to have ever seen him. I hug my first born , my little daughter, extra hard when I think of him. I’ve learned to avoid tears lately; therapy helped quite a bit.

    No two cases are the same, but most people don’t fully appreciate what it is like to miss a kid you’ve never had a chance to be introduced to.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani I was going to say: trauma such as this actually contributes to hatching. I know I went into a very dark place and a major dysphoria cycle when it happened. Was angry and snarly all the time; put on a lot of weight (which added to the dysphoria and therefore, rage), started to be insomniac etc. Heck, I took up therapy partially to tackle dysphoria, but ended up speaking exclusively about the kid. Didn’t realise I had so many bottled up emotions. That notion of it getting worse… that was exactly how it was for me.

    Closure for me is being in a state where I can talk about it all whilst being nominally functional and not get into rage or sadness without a bottom. I’m sad when I think of him, but I’m not sadder than before. Took me a long time to reach here, and with professional help.

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani Been exactly there. My therapist called it putting on a flesh-coloured band-aid on a septic wound. Been through exactly that; wanted to repress everything because my wife was struggling and, well, men aren’t supposed to feel anything. (And I was supposed to be a Man)

    But I still didn’t want to broach GD with the therapist at that point ; was also struggling at work in addition to anger and sadness. Wanted to “solve” those before I got to GD. Guess that’s where I am now. Anger issues “solved”, now onto GD.

    I’m rambling here. Just wanted to say, I know what you’re saying. Happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk about it anytime.

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster Reinventing ourselves every few years is the new norm. For better or worse, the old days of ‘becoming established’ are gone, more for some (sadly) than others.

    But if you’ve had the life experience, discipline and smarts to have multiple degrees and military experience, chances are that you have the skills already to execute this turn well. You got this! 👍🏽

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster Finding jobs is stressful, looking good without too much effort can be a stress relief. Best of luck for the job! 😊

    Impossible_PhD, to random
    @Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

    Aaaaaaand the hits keep coming. My Alistor cosplay antlers finished printing over the weekend and LOOK HOW AMAZING AND TERRIFYING THEY ARE!!

    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Impossible_PhD I like how they are menacingly approaching that Coke Zero bottle, ready to trap it in their interlocking embrace.

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    aparna,
    @aparna@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster Definitely the lighting. May be the colour too. What else could it be?!

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