Have you ever terminated a longtime friendship because the person defended or tried to justify a convicted multiple rapist, because the convicted rapist was part of their immediate family?
I had to do that, last month, with someone I've known almost my whole life in Canada. I felt it was the right decision for me to cut ties because I'm a rape survivor & can't stay friends with anyone who tries to defend rapists & tries to blame victims.
@msquebanh First, my mindset when reading your post. I saw one word, "rapists" and then everything else blocked out. I sighed in frustration, and almost skipped over this thread. I didn't for two reasons. One, I tend to respect your opinion. And two, you warned us. I almost did because I am so tired of rapists continuing to share my air, and just don't want to hear about another one.
This probably answers your question. But to be clear, ghost them. Forever. No guilt.
@Jon_Kramer The most shocking thing to me was the only 2 people who tried very hard with efforts on defending/justifying rapist crap to me were women. Obviously those women had some serious internalized misogyny issues that became very evident, when shit got really serious.
@msquebanh When I started thinking about this 30 mins ago, I realized that most of the people who tried to justify abuse to me were also women. I wonder if they were looking for sympathy from me, or trying to game my emotions.
I don't know what the cause is/was. I mean, I have no idea, and any guesses I might have would be based on pure speculation. But I don't find it shocking... I just feel cold about them. I am trying to remember males who did this, or similar. I'm drawing a blank.
@Jon_Kramer It was shocking to me because prior to that experience, only people I heard trying to defend or justify rapists were shitty boys/men. I was usually surrounded by women who wouldn't tolerate that kind of talk that supported abusive rapists & it stunned me, to learn that 2 women, one who I have known almost my whole life, turned out to be rape apologists. I felt very sick after finding out.
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