A moderator of a FB group I frequent has fallen headlong into the “politeness” trap, insisting that participants observe “civility” and “manners” when they post.
Many of you probably already recognize that #politeness is a trap. It is a tool used by aristocrats and the powerful to silence dissent, by protesting how the oppressed choose to cry, instead of dealing with why they cry. Southern slaveowners were probably the most polite bunch of folks you’ll ever know.
Focus on what’s important: kindess, empathy, respect, tolerance. And tell politeness to go fuck itself.
@drahardja Why are we talking? Do we want to change minds by discussing things with others, or do we want to shout at them? Granted, both are necessary at times...
But if we want people who disagree with us to listen to what we have to say rather than ignoring us or shouting right back, then we ought to show them the respect of being polite. That does not prevent us from speaking truths that they may find painful.
Ia used to spend time on some Discord server, and in 2021 some anti-vaxxers spilled misinformation and lies about vaccinations. I cared about that community, so I debunked this with sources, actual news articles and studies. I was told to not take up as much space with "my" topic. They instated a rule making all talk about "loaded" topics impossible.
Y'all, when someone asks you to untag them in a thread, please do them the courtesy of fulfilling that request. When you're conversing with only a few people in a thread and that person doesn't want to participate, you're needlessly clogging up their mentions.