DivineKestrel

DivineKestrel, 4 hours ago to random

I'm one of four women in a circle talking at my daughter's soccer game. One of the women doesn't look at out acknowledge me at all. Fucking people.

DivineKestrel, 14 hours ago to random

My favorite white feminists are the ones who question whether I "should really be a part of this community" immediately after saying they are angry that I have the audacity to look this hot all the time.

"We can't have these Trans woman dropping their kids off at school looking better than us!"

rooster, 2 days ago to random

Modding your body and endocrine system? A lot of folks doing coding? Openly living as the political targets of conservatives in power? Getting meds and supplies off the internet and via whisper networks? Colorful hair?

Being trans is cyberpunk as shit

nora, 1 day ago to random

sometimes i worry im not trans enough to count and then im like lmao what the fuck would that even mean, that im tapping gender from a tree with a limited amount of sap

DivineKestrel, 1 day ago to random

Had a talk with my daughter tonight about some heavy things, but what broke me was telling her that "Don't tell your mom" is a huge red flag that she should tell us and know she'll be safe.

And while talking about it all I could hear was his voice, saying don't tell your mom about little things. Then saying don't tell your mom about bigger things. Then saying don't tell your mom about absolutely fucking horrid things.

I've done a lot of crying tonight. I'm probably not done crying. It's so painful watching grooming happen in the past. There's so much hurt and self-hatred and self-blame.

I'm baking cookies to make myself feel better.

DivineKestrel, 1 day ago to random

Shoe selection results

"We've noticed that your shoe size is women's 14. We have removed all heels from your results because you are a monster and should only wear slippers and never leave the house."

Impossible_PhD, 1 day ago to random

So I was just contacted by someone who wanted me to provide some sort of evidence--evidence which I DO NOT HAVE--against a doctor WHO I HAVE NEVER SEEN OR BEEN A PATIENT OF. They wanted this evidence to bring a lawsuit against said doctor.

I told them I wanted nothing to do with anything to do with that doctor, and to leave me alone.

Not only did they not listen, they used the specter of Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera's resistance to try to shame me into helping them.

I am aghast.

DivineKestrel, 1 day ago to random

Lieutenant Broccoli is such Lower Decks material #TNG

DivineKestrel, 1 day ago to random

On the walk to school, my children were describing how they think of of where I grew up. How they imagine it in their heads.

They all independently came up with the picture of a black and white drab war zone with only concrete, rusted metal, and broken glass and no trees or color, it's just all black and white. Nothing has color, no people have color, it's all just grey.

And then there's me, brightly colored in a pink frilly dress skipping around and picking dandelions growing in the cracks of the sidewalk.

Shit, y'all… listening to them describe this and riff on it as they build up the picture was very eerie because… well, that's not at all what it looked like, but they absolutely nailed what Buffalo in the 70s felt like in a terribly accurate way.

rooster, 2 days ago to random

I’m presenting on my background on Thursday and I often wonder if someone will ask how I was on a submarine if I’m a woman because I imagine that is HRs nightmare

DivineKestrel, 4 days ago to random

Turns out my wife is a bit of a "women should avoid dressing suggestively so they don't get sexually assaulted" feminist.

Since I'm a "men should be held accountable for their actions since boyhood" feminist, we have conflicting views.

DivineKestrel, 2 days ago to random

Job hunting is soul crushing. Especially when your last 10 years have been in software, and you hate it, and you can't get a software job anyway because you're a Black trans woman with anthropology and hydrology degrees, but can't get a hydrology job because you haven't done hydrology in 15 years. So I'm just floating without a job, without prospects, and with no idea what to even look for.

Soul… crushed.

Impossible_PhD, 2 days ago to random

Mirrored from Bluesky:

If baby (6 months hrt) Zoe could see me today, she'd have a goddamned panic attack, but because I'm so much more femme and publicly queer than she ever dared to dream.

It ain't what's Girl Enough, it's what Fits You.

DivineKestrel, 3 days ago to random

Got my cute OnlyMaker round toe daily heel that I was super excited about since they have a size 14, only to find out that they're too small for me. Gods I hate buying shoes. It's so depressing. Even when I can find shoes sized for a monster, they're not sized for a MONSTEROUS monster.

DivineKestrel, 3 days ago to random

There are so many white people responding about voting.

Y'all, it's not hard.

If a POC says "it's racist to I expect me to behave in the way you want me to regarding voting"

And you only talk about the voting

Then what you are not talking about is the racism

And since the racism was the point, then what you are doing is changing the subject.

And if a POC talks about racism and you change the subject…

Y'all…we see that. Like, you realize we see that, right?

DivineKestrel, 3 days ago to random

And that ain't even what I'm talking about. Y'all always do this "but what about…?" Shit.

I'm talking about white people calling POC "stupid" for protesting by not voting.

I'm talking about white people who EXPECT POC to behave in ways that benefit white people, and then condemn us when we don't do what we're supposed to do. Like you are so steeped in white privilege you don't even see how racist that is?

Take all those other "but what about …?" Arguments somewhere else, I ain't havin it.

DivineKestrel, 4 days ago to random

White people complaining about Black and other POC people not voting shows how they can really lean into the implicit racism of the neoliberal system.

As if the corporeal state didn't happen under Democratic guidance. As if Roe v Wade wasn't over-turned under a Democratic president. 6 different times here, white people have pointed to Columbia university and said shit like "avoiding this kind of police state is why we need to vote democrat" as if the sitting president is not Democratic.

And then they'll say "it could be worse if you don't vote." When they have zero understanding of what "worse" means. When they know nothing of the neoliberal acceptance of the GOP big plan.

And when they have decided to ignore the fact that BIPOC and AAPI peoples have been living "worse" for generations.

Telling POC people to save their asses yet fucking again. Bitch don't get all moral high ground about voting just because the barrel is finally pointing at you. This shit is called "Tuesday."

DivineKestrel, 4 days ago to random

Thinking about making a T-shirt with the silhouette of a woman and of a grizzly bear with the text "Bi-curious ( I'm into women but I might give the bear a try)"

DivineKestrel, 5 days ago to random

Transition turning point.

I was pretty hell bent already, life was falling apart. I couldn't come back from COVID because being home with the kids all day was too amazing. I knew I wanted to be a mom and couldn't because…well, I'm a man. There were a lot of things pushing me but I knew I had to suck it up and just be a good dad.

Then one day, a group of the men from my church approached me and said they wanted me to join them for coffee on Saturday, which they do every week, calling it The Old Men Coffee Club.

I almost vomited.

I was forced to be a man, but I didn't want to be… that. Just picturing being in a group of old men made me sick to my stomach.

DivineKestrel, 4 days ago to random

I mean, she also said that she wasn't happy about me wearing a low cut top because "I'm in a high level position and mostly hide that I'm a woman." So the second-wavism is strong, I guess.

DivineKestrel, 6 days ago to random

I'm honestly convinced that estrogen has made me more scatterbrained.