@jpm@aus.social
@jpm@aus.social avatar

jpm

@jpm@aus.social

WiFi whacker, network noodler, IoT idiot, Linux licker, and security spooner. Can C, a bit Rusty, also Bashing Pythons. Sandal appreciator. Anti-sock crusader.

Geek for hire - if you’ve got a cool project let me know!

Now contains at least 65% shitpost by weight

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

geordie, to random
@geordie@aus.social avatar

When I do statistician work usually I’m paid via direct deposit from a commercial officials management thing like Refbook, but Manly do it in cash and you sign a sheet that you’ve received yours. This means that at half time someone comes up to the scorebench and literally gives each official an envelope full of cash and I can’t understand why it hasn’t caused a massive misunderstanding before.

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@geordie Aldi shopping bag

mattrobertson, to random
@mattrobertson@aus.social avatar

This block is cursed, another comms pit leaking water for some reason

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@mattrobertson they do that sometimes. It’s a well known phenomenon that electricity likes to go swimming

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

Fuck your reserved parking bollards

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@ghost_shit zero fucks are given on the weekend in a hospital carpark

whitequark, to random
@whitequark@mastodon.social avatar

normal device

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@whitequark ooh yes I saw this, and then promptly got served recommendations for other glass pipes

0x47df, to random
@0x47df@duckpon.de avatar

current status: stuck on a bog with no bog roll. 😱

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@0x47df oh no! Our camping kit contains poo tickets for exactly this situation

GossiTheDog, to random
@GossiTheDog@cyberplace.social avatar

I think I’m legit going to have to mute Linux in reply notifications here, as it is exhausting.

Linux is great. But over a billion people use Windows, and it powers most of the world’s critical infrastructure sectors.

Shouting nobody cares and who runs Windows is bullshit handwavery.

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@GossiTheDog you’re right to do it, the sealions are pretty full-on over here

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

This week can get absolutely fucked - thank you so much for the kind words and positive vibes in the last couple of days.

TGIF m’fu’ers. TGIF :tgif:

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

Can I use none of them if I’ve got a 15Pro?
https://mastodon.online/@9to5Mac/112534648827466860

jodiem, to random
@jodiem@aus.social avatar

I am really impressed by the letter this US senator wrote encouraging the US FTC to take action against the board of United Healthcare Group after their ranswomware attack a few months ago.

We need way more than one person in a government to be able to understand teh cyberz though.

And as the letter states we need way more people on boards to understand that they are indeed a technology company, and that this stuff is indeed their responsibility.
https://therecord.media/unitedhealth-ciso-wyden-letter-sec-ftc

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@jodiem every company is now a computer company in addition to what they claim to do

engagedpractx, to random
@engagedpractx@sciences.social avatar

Listening to some fave pop tunes on the new setup is making me think the Bose SoundLink Mini is normalising the shit out of its audio input in order to project a bigger sound. There are crescendoes in these tracks that I never picked up because I was always listening on the Mini.

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@engagedpractx pretty much yeah, just about every Bose speaker system has an insane EQ that just ratchets the bass and the highs to make the tiny speakers sound bigger than they actually are.

liamvhogan, to random
@liamvhogan@aus.social avatar

LITHGOW MACCAS

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@ThermiteBeGiants @MattHatton @Taco_lad @liamvhogan delicious sea cockroaches

decryption, to random
@decryption@aus.social avatar

Issue 2100 of The Sizzle just left my mail server!

Today's headlines:

  • eSafety age assurance trial outsourced, won't involve social media

  • Cooler Master customer data breach confirmed

  • Directory traversal bug in Check Point Remote Access VPNs

  • Utopia Must Fall: A retro vector-graphics-esque game in your browser

And the following stuff is on sale thanks to OzBargain:

  • Festival of capitalism

If you aren't a subscriber, you missed out on today's issue - don't make that mistake again! Visit https://thesizzle.com.au to sign up for Australia's best tech email newsletter.

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@decryption @daedalus lol CheckPoint, the OG firewall traversal vulnerability specialists

ausfestivus, to random
@ausfestivus@aus.social avatar

Just witnessed two cars pull up at opposite ends of a car park, a gentleman exit each vehicle, one carrying a package wrapped in brown paper. They met, exchanged the package and a chunky white envelope, didn’t exchange a word and then walk back to their vehicles.

😲

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@ausfestivus extreme discretion giant black dildo delivery service

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

"My dude, with all due respect..."

Go and get completely fucked

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@MattHatton needs more chili

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@MattHatton next time. There’s definitely going to be a next time

decryption, to random
@decryption@aus.social avatar

if you’re having an affair and need somewhere to eat where nobody will see you and your partner, come to pancake parlour Docklands! You’ll be the only person here all morning

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@georgeharito @dbarros @decryption

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it
https://ohai.social/@BintyMcFrazzles/112529229873252028

decryption, to random
@decryption@aus.social avatar

apparently people are using ovens in the office kitchens to cook roast lunches for 8-10 people

https://www.reddit.com/r/AusPublicService/s/GgN7gvJ7Q3

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@decryption yeah I can see that happening. Personally seen people using the sandwich press to cook a bacon and egg fry-up breakfast

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

I wish for a curry feast

monkey paw curls

I am now groaningly disgustingly full of curry, also I burnt my thumb on the takeaway container that got left in the oven on “keep warm”

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

Once again I’m committing void * C crimes

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

Constants aren’t. Variables don’t.

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

Attention @mike I believe you are a loose man in need of a t-shirt?

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005006106776880.html

jpm, to random
@jpm@aus.social avatar

PEW PEW MADAFAKAS (paging @devopscats
)

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005006096052371.html

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@Kels_316 @devopscats I reckon the “make love not war” ones from last week would get a better* reaction from the MMP crowd

jpm,
@jpm@aus.social avatar

@Kels_316 @devopscats do it. AliExpress t-shirts go so goddamn hard it’s amazing. Almost certainly they’ve been ripped off from somewhere else though.

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