madam__mayhem

madam__mayhem, 10 months ago to random

Happy hump day!

madam__mayhem, 7 months ago to random

Right, I’m tapping out after losing several days of my life to this…thank you @mollyskiss and @girlonthenet! Highlights are completing the Circle and Victoria lines. Lowlight is realising I have no clue about north and east London. Full disclosure, I got two stations via accidental spoilers and two via hints…

madam__mayhem, 8 months ago to random

It’s my birthday…which means I spend the day wondering which exes might message from the dead.

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to random

The gym is extra fun when your uterus feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of your body, taking all the other major organs with it.

madam__mayhem, 9 months ago to GYM

Who only has one gym crush?

At any given time I have about 20… #gym #gymcrush #milf #cougar #crush

madam__mayhem, 10 days ago to random

Happy Pride…especially to those like me who are too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers.

madam__mayhem, 25 days ago to GYM

My muscles make me happier than any man ever has. #gym #gymgirl #musclemummy #musclemommy

madam__mayhem, 2 months ago to random

New niche turn on…when a guy is benching, his shirt rides up and you catch a glimpse of his snail trail.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

I am no less worthy of respect and love just because I am a woman who enjoys kink and sex. Spread the word.

madam__mayhem, 2 months ago to random

Have a great weekend filthy fuckers…I’m off to my happy place…

madam__mayhem, 22 days ago to random

From Pro Domme back to humble Muscle Mummy today… #gymgirl #musclemummy #gymgains #domme #prodomme

madam__mayhem, 9 months ago to random

Another day, another dude creepily staring at me in the gym.

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to GYM

Something different for Thigh Thursday… #gymgirl #musclemummy #gym #thighs #leggings

Video of me at the gym doing sissy squats with a 10kg plate. The quads are looking fiiiiine in my burgundy gym leggings…

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago (edited 5 months ago) to random

Me: That guy I’ve been chatting to on Feeld flaked on a date then ghosted me.

Man Friend 1: Loser.

Man Friend 2: Tosser.

Man Friend 3: Dick.

‪Man Friend 4: Cunt. ‬

I love my man friends.

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to random

I’ve just been informed it’s Kiss a Ginger Day and checks notes THIS GINGER HAS NOT BEEN KISSED TODAY.

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

I’m coining a new acronym for the dating apps…

DAQ = Doesn’t Ask Questions

It’s a sackable offence.

madam__mayhem, 2 months ago to random

@JMSeaborn tried to warn me about Morgana Robinson’s legs on Taskmaster Champion of Champions but I still wasn’t prepared.

That level of sexiness should be illegal.

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

Relationship status:

In long term polyamorous relationships with coffee, the gym and my vibrators.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Why do I insist on a standing wank after leg day at the gym?!

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

Movember is almost over for the year and I’ve yet to sit on a moustached face.

madam__mayhem, 7 months ago to random

Sorry I couldn’t answer your call, I was wanking.

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

https://madam-mayhem.com/2023/11/25/my-hope-for-men/

madam__mayhem, 8 months ago to dating

Guess who’s back on Hinge?! #dating #onlinedating #cougar #milf #cougardating

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

People who masturbate in the shower, how do you overcome the guilt of wasting water to reach orgasm?!

madam__mayhem, 8 months ago to random

Bought a cute new top…no regrets…