@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

madam__mayhem

@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social

She/her • 42 • Cougar • Pansexual Mood fluctuates between Mummy/Good Girl Send coffee, cuddles and cunnilingus https://linktr.ee/Madam__Mayhem

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

madam__mayhem, to random
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

I’ve decided to take a short break from social media. The comments, DMs and generally grim state of the world I see has become too much for me right now. I’m not enjoying it…I’ve hit burn out point.

I’m taking time to reset, focus on myself and put my energy into things that make me feel good for a while. This break will hopefully reinvigorate my creativity and help get me back into a better frame of mind to continue the Mayhem.

Try not to miss me too much, I’ll be back soon, I promise!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

My mate Peanuts has just pointed out that you can tell we’re grown ups because when we settle in for a night of drinking, we carefully select our ambient lighting rather than just flicking the top light on.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

@girlonthenet I stand by my claim that lamps and side tables are the most underrated pieces of household furniture. Grown up or not!

madam__mayhem, to random
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Men wearing pearls.

That’s it. That’s the post.

madam__mayhem, to random
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Today I was called Quadzilla.

New honorific level unlocked.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

@TickleMeElmo @madam__mayhem Yeah, I’m definitely not mad about it 😂

madam__mayhem, to random
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Ahh Valentine’s Day…where shitty partners try and make up for 364 of neglect with one day of tacky romantic gestures.

madam__mayhem, to random
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The more I value and respect myself, the worse my dating life becomes.

madam__mayhem, to random
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Me on dating apps: I want to date people who prioritise giving energy to dating.

Cishet men: I don’t have time to date but I’ll swipe right on you anyway, waste your time and breadcrumb the bare minimum of attention in order to try and get you to have sex with me.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I mostly date younger people.

Cishet men: I want you to fulfil all my cougar fantasies so I’ll swipe right on you, objectify you and treat you like you aren’t a human being.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I’m looking to date emotionally available people.

Cishet men: I think being emotionally available is saying my love language is physical touch, so I’ll swipe right on you then trauma dump and take out the pain of my last relationship on you.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I want a relationship.

Cishet men: I don’t want a relationship but I’ll swipe right on you anyway and hope you’ll have sex with me.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I don’t want children.

Cishet men: I want kids but I’ll swipe right on you anyway and hope you’ll just change your mind…or have sex with me until I find someone else to have kids with.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I express my sexuality openly and make no apologies for it.

Cishet men: I think that’s hot so I’ll swipe right but then realise it threatens my masculinity, so then I’ll try and make you suppress your sexuality to make me feel better.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: I don’t mess with married.

Cishet men: I’m in a monogamous relationship and don’t care about her or you, so I’ll swipe right on you then lie and manipulate you into having sex with me.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Me on dating apps: These are my wants, needs and boundaries.

Cishet men: I don’t care. I don’t respect women or see them as people so I’ll swipe right on you anyway to try and get what I think I’m entitled to at the cost of your wants, needs and boundaries.

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

@interpipes @madam__mayhem Exactly…it’s so socially conditioned to have children that too many people assume you don’t actually choose childfree consciously

madam__mayhem, to random
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I can’t remember if I told my therapist I have an OnlyFans. Might be too late to tell her, three years in…

hungry_joe, to random
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the closer I get to 40 the more tempting the lifestyle of a metal detectorist becomes: to people older than me, is this a normal phase?

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

@hungry_joe Yes. You’ll also start to complain about noise and technology and start to feel more like your parents every day…

madam__mayhem, to random
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Another day, another ten failed attempts to match women on the dating apps.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

What’s your best piece of relationship advice?

madam__mayhem,
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

@girlonthenet Believe someone’s actions, not their words or the potential you see in them.

madam__mayhem, to random
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I am no less worthy of respect and love just because I am a woman who enjoys kink and sex. Spread the word.

madam__mayhem, to random
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Seeing someone visibly torn between wanting to respect you but also really, really wanting to disrespect you is a top tier turn on.

madam__mayhem, to random
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Not me giving a death stare to the dude who took a 10kg plate from my bench press station, clearing thinking I wouldn’t use it (I am).

madam__mayhem, to GYM
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

Muscle Mummy back progress…

madam__mayhem, to random
@madam__mayhem@mastodon.social avatar

I’m so kink deprived I just called my Roomba a good boy.

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