@reallybigfoot@ohai.social
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reallybigfoot

@reallybigfoot@ohai.social

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reallybigfoot, to random
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A Sasquatch never could have come up with Matt Moneymaker's "enough maybes equals a probably" rule. Sasquatches are confused by maybes.

reallybigfoot, to random
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I was just on a ridge. I stood majestically before the sunrise and looked over my right shoulder. Victory.

reallybigfoot, to random
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My feet are in proportion to my body size. My dingdong, though, legit big, even for a 12 ft freak.

reallybigfoot, to random
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I just had an argument with a bird. He was all "NU-UH!", and I was all "UH-HUH!" If I'm ever discovered, I hope it's when I'm doing something smart like that.

reallybigfoot, to random
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Every time @CliffBarackman sees me, I do something nonsensical with my buttocks. My goal is to make him look foolish at Sasquatch Buttocks symposiums.

reallybigfoot, to random
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All day, every day, I wonder if I think about Matt Moneymaker as much as he thinks about me. But the answer always comes up NO.

reallybigfoot, to random
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Animals don't think like humans. They don't care what they look like, for example. They don't consider option B. They'd rather sniff something than look at something. They don't think about the past or the future, except the whole one day they might be eaten alive thing.

reallybigfoot, to random
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I just fought a grizzly. Guess who won? Let me hand the phone over to the grizzly. Wait a sec, I can't. CUZ HE'S FREAKIN' DEAD! 🤣 🐻=🤡

reallybigfoot, to random
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I had a salmon in my hand, but it slipped out when it wiggled. My arm went all whoopsy and slippity-doo. And, wouldn't you know it? The Judgmental Goose saw the whole thing. I can't catch a break. #Bigfoot #Sasquatch

reallybigfoot, to random
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I just invented something. You take one of your hands - doesn't matter which one - and you hit your OTHER HAND with it, on the palm part. It makes a robust sound I call a tooni-taka-ta-takata-ta-ta-tookity-ta. I really think this could catch on. #Bigfoot #Sasquatch

reallybigfoot, to random
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God made me for a purpose, that much I know. Maybe it has to do with turtles. A turtle did look at me yesterday, and it felt important. #bigfoot #Sasquatch

reallybigfoot, to random
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Most Sasquatch porn goes like this: a Sasquatch is captured by humans and is studied by scientists. Suddenly, the head scientist gets off the phone and says, "The President needs to know if it will mate with a lizard. STAT." Bow-chicka-bow...

reallybigfoot, to random
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If a lion had a taste for monkey flesh, he would really enjoy the bottoms of my feet. My foot bottoms are insanely monkeyish and thick-padded, and really good eats for monkey-flesh lovers. #Bigfoot #Sasquatch

reallybigfoot, to random
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Orangutan tree knocks are completely without purpose. Frankly, they piss me off. #Bigfoot #Sasquatch

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