If Matt can quantify how many maybes equals a probably, he just needs to get that many liars in one room and ask if they've ever seen a Sasquatch. Boom. Proved. Probably. #Bigfoot
Sasquatches haven't invented the word "AND" yet. If we wanna say "AND", we have to improvise a solution. Like instead of saying "MATT AND CLIFF", we might say "MATTCLIFF" and shake our heads a lot like "that's not right" then maybe shake a stick to clarify "AND". #Bigfoot
Whenever I find a corpse, I install the best organs in my fake, no good body. At first, it seemed a little gross, but now I just feel like a really well made fake man-ape freak Frankenstein, which is really not that bad, if you think about it. #Bigfoot
I don't believe dogs will take over the world. They did invent that thing where they shake water off of them, but I don't necessarily think that means they will take over the world. #Bigfoot
I hit on them. Big time. With my fist is what I'm saying. On their heads. They're dead. They are the deadest things that ever died. Squirrels are traumatized. #poem#Bigfoot
I have no neck and my swallow reflex only kicks in if a horse-head sized hunk of flesh starts to choke me. I can't swallow water is what I'm saying. I have to snort water. BEING A FREAK SUCKS. #Bigfoot