@autism101@actuallyautistic even leaving aside stress, phone call is a synchronous talk, while email/messenger is asynchronous, and time for making an answer is chosen by the callee, not by caller. So making a phone call in a situation without emergency and without immediate actions required, is a clear disrespect to the time and activities of another person.
Useless phone calls are especially unpleasant for autistic people, but the rest may consider such calls to be rude at least 🤷
@rayslava
I don't consider it rude, just a different norm. I also don't consider it rude of me to not pick up and instead to reply by text or email, or not reply at all. I don't fault people for engaging how they want [and/ but/ because] I reserve the right to decide how I'm going to engage @autism101@actuallyautistic
@autism101@actuallyautistic I don't think I have autism, but always hated phone calls (outgoing is worse than incoming). I'd rather use email nowadays where I can write from the heart, not get tongue-tied, or stammer due to nerves.
@autism101@actuallyautistic I LOATHE talking on the phone, and I don't think I'm even autustic. People want to talk about their trip to town, what they had for lunch, who they met, and everything, and anything, none of which I have the SLIGHTEST interest in.
@jasmin@autism101@actuallyautistic One of my gardening-clients would phone me up in the morning, dragging me out of bed, for what I can tell, no reason, except to drone on about her cunting life, as if I give a fuck, while I sit here in the cold, wishing I was in bed, or drinking coffee, or watching my favorite movie review show, going 'uh huh... uh huh... (PLEASE die now) ... uh huh... ooooo... uh huh (die b*tch die)..'
@autism101@actuallyautistic@Elowen
Torture! I love just not answering my phone most of the time now. If it’s important they’ll call again. Or text as I have told people I like that better!
@autism101@actuallyautistic the most effective communication with regards to the sender is finding out what that person responds to, regardless of the discomfort. Phone, email, or text, people all seem to have a preference. Try to contact outside of that, you have to resign yourself to a slow or no response. You have no idea what the other person is dealing with.
If it's close friends and family, hopefully they can be accommodating.
The thing with autistic traits is that they are not necessarily present only in autistics, but they are all present, more or less in every autistic, while allistics (non-autistics) might have one trait and not the others.
So it is not impossible that you feel the same way about the phone, but if you also eat samefood, experience sensory overload, stim and can't read non-verbal language, I might challenge that "I'm allistic" claim of yours! 😉
@autism101@actuallyautistic I dont even mind them for business, I can call and be like "I need x y and z." Very methodical and script like. Its phone small talk stuff that makes me have a nuclear panic attack.
@autism101@actuallyautistic i NEED to call customer service for a big clothing brand and I just don’t want to. Calling is the ONLY means of communication they offer.
Whoops... I noticed the boost, but I forgot to mention that phone calls don't stress me out (unlike texts/emails). They make me happy. So I prefer phone calls over indirect contact like texts/emails
Mind you, this was not always the case. In the early days I disliked calls. It's only after I learned that often it was ok to cause another person some anxiety that my phone anxiety went away.
But above all respect the preference of both sides.
@autism101@lizzard@actuallyautistic This cartoon shows an everyday dialog between a sales manager (yellow) and a salesperson (blue). Could autism possibly be a basic qualification to become a salesperson?
(This is why I mostly just call anyways despite really really hating phone calls, because from my experience any other mode of communication usually results in being asked to make a phone call, so it’s just a waste of energy to mail)
@autism101@actuallyautistic I struggle with this a bit... I agree, and still to this day hate phone calls, but isn't this forcing our preference on those who would prefer voice?
@actuallyautistic@autism101 I am ok making phone calls, though I had to become accustomed to it. I have always been the partner or roommate who was the best at being able to do it, so I have made a lot of calls on behalf of other people. At some point, I just decided to accept that I come across as a bit odd to whoever receives my calls, and that they would just have to deal with me.
Somehow, it’s always been a little easier to be on work calls than personal calls. It’s the same with cleaning or paper filing, or any other task that I do both at work and home, it’s always easier when it’s part of my job to do.
Add comment