Not related to ADHD but similar none the less. I’m eating some leftovers (literally fork in mouth) and my mom asks me if I want to heat it up. I said if I wanted it heated up I’d have put it in the microwave. I’m 37.
I hate eating cold leftovers. I hate the texture and I hate the temperature of the food. I haven’t been diagnosed with autism though tests were inconclusive when I tested for Asperger’s as a kid but I have traits of autism and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a sensory issue.
Moms never stop. I loved living with my mom, but it does mean that I have certain mom-related annoyances in my life. She is constantly trying to get me to eat more and leaves all the lights on everywhere. But, there’s advantages too. For example: I love my mom.
I used to get that question a lot when I was a kid. I always politely said “no thanks”.
It turns out my face always said “Are you fucking stupid? I understand how to heat things” while I was trying to be a little polite. I found this out when I visited my parents recently and found out that, while I’m still trying to be polite, my face still tells my mom that I’m capable of deciding on the temperature of my food.
My face says things that I don’t mean to say even when I’m trying not to be an ass.
She’s a mother. That’s what mothers do. They don’t see their babies as fully grown men / women, they remember the tiny kid that she could hold with one hand when stirring soup with the other. If you weren’t a 100kg, 185cm chunk of flesh she would still be doing it if she could. Asking about the food temperature, if it’s good, is part of it, even if you’ve eaten the same favourite meal for 20 years straight and it is perfect every time. Asking if you want a sandwich, or if she should make a simple meal is too. It’s not that you can’t, or you are too grown up to need someone to make you a sandwich. It simply is their way of showing that they care about you.
And I am saying this as a guy who still gets told that colder food upsets the stomach, being asked if I need any food in a house literally stocked to the ceilling in the kitchen. Being upset about such a tiny thing is really narcisistic.
Thank you for putting it in perspective! I have a very similar mother, and it tends to drive me absolutely mental whenever I visit - but next time I’m home I’m going to remember what you wrote.
So they went to the trouble to point out what your reaction looks like, but they have not once in x decades reconsidered the strategy of asking you annoying questions.
My face is the same. I remember someone trying to start an argument with me because my face apparently didn’t match what I had said. I was incredibly confused because no one had ever pointed it out to me before so he was telling me about my facial expression and I was disagreeing because I had no idea.
If there was nothing compelling you to turn it on, what exactly were you forgetting about? Surely you remembered how to do it, but were you presented a reason to do it by the situation you were in?
I forget every time how annoyingly bright my monitor can be if it’s too dark in the room. I can’t be arsed to change the monitor settings every time. And getting up to avoid a headache is such a future me problem.
My eyesight is so bad I have to shower with my glasses on. I’ve astigmatism in one eye and I’m really short sighted. My mother who was blind in one eye and had short sightedness was actually able to see better than me.
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