Oh god so many I could ruin this post. Music is my most important processing art, and many of the musicians I listen to are very important to me. So I’ll limit myself:
“We took a weekend, drove to Provo.
The snow was white and fluffy.
A weekend in Utah won’t fix what’s wrong with us
The grey sky was vast and real cryptic above me.”
The Mountain Goats ~ The Mess Inside.
Because the work to get better and overcome truama isn’t easy or short. I’ve done a lot of wonderful things with my wife, and we’ve both come incredibly far from our truamas. But most of the nice things we’ve done had very little impact on that recovery. To paraphrase a Ray Ramano bit from SNL, you’re still gonna be you in Italy.
“I don’t fall in love, I plummet.” ~Ashley Virginia ~I Don’t Fall in Love
“You can’t stay everywhere you leave a piece of your heart.” ~Little Mazarn ~Vermont
These two go together. I fall in love–with people, places, things, experiences–with abandon. I can be slow to let things in, especially people, because once I do it is quickly a no holds barred environment. It’s what the Uhaul key on my necklace means. Because of that, I can’t stay everywhere or keep everyone I love. I have to know when and what to let go, when and where to hold on.
Finally I guess I’m gonna wholly belie all notions of brevity with a whole god damn Diane Cluck song:
"Somethin’ loosened around my heart
From where it was bound, it fluttered around
This funny motion first mistaken as attack
I realize and step back
With real eyes, I step back
And let it happen
Knitted so snug inside my chest
Iron lungs, ribs as rungs
Those who care to try and climb me
Sometimes say it’s hard to find me
Still, in reflex, I would shout
When I began spilling out
Weeping clearly as a blister
“Hey, I’m here, " you almost missed her
And I have so much for you (Na-na-na-na-na-na)
Do you know how I get shy to show you?
I fill up, tender, with a glow (Na-na-na-na-na-na)
Fluff and puff as I try to show you
Display my falling feathers
As they leave me in this weather
The days, they go so quickly
Can’t even stop them
Don’t even want to”
Diane Cluck ~Heartloose
I usually have to listen to this song twice. It’s so short, but so dense. Every bit of it shakes me. I don’t have time to enumerate the ways this song applies, appeals, affects, and relates to me. Diane Cluck is so important to me.
I feel this whole song so fucking hard. But this line specifically because I form codependent relationships with people like crazy, and I always feel like a fuckin’ burden/like my friends or husband don’t truly like me. Like I’m stressing people out or putting too much pressure on them, so I’m not worth the effort of maintaining a relationship with.
I’m on a hovercraft to Paris with my former best friend. We have to get to the cinematheque. We’re not alone, but no one speaks english so we’re free to look into each other’s minds and see what we’re thinking like we always used to. I miss talking to you.
Hadn’t heard it before no, but it’s not my favourite of covers I’ve heard. The original song itself is very nostalgic for me with childhood memory attached so I love it as is. Only as an adult did I find any real meaning in the lyrics though. Can easily be palmed off as a shallow pop song I guess, but it has depth to me.
There is a deep, deep love for Springsteen in Americana and country. Elizabeth Moen does whole Springsteen shows dressed up like him and everything. Anyone who doesn’t see the depth in his lyrics isn’t looking. And Little Mazarn is probably my favorite band. I prefer their original songs, but awkward banjo girl and Jeff with the singing saw are a religious experience for me.
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