I dream of a world where I believe problems will be resolved to the benefit of everyone and I don’t have to worry about my family’s financial wellbeing
I’d really like to know what it’s like to be normal. Like, to be able to look and my life and say, “wow! I’m a perfectly functional, capable adult with a stable life. That’s great.”
Mostly, I guess I mean having a neurotypical brain, but I don’t know if that’s a hard requirement. I’d like to be able to socialize properly. I’d like to be able to go out and engage with people without my social battery being dead within 10 minutes, or without my anxiety of other people scaring me off from the thought of interacting with a stranger altogether.
I’d like to live somewhere with things to do and a way to easily access those things. I’d like to live somewhere where I’m not terrified to go outside, because it would mean having to risk my life behind the wheel of a car, or pay a ton of money I don’t have for a stranger to drive me where I want to go. I’d like to be able to fearlessly walk out my door and explore the world around me instead of hiding from it.
I’d like to know how to be able to do the things you’re supposed to do to have a full, well-adjusted life. I’d like to be able to live that life without having to combat a mountain of anxiety before every meeting or appointment. Logically, I know things will be fine, but when every other part of my brain screams that everything will go catastrophically wrong, it’s hard to ignore. I’d like to not shake, or be nauseous, or feel like I’m gonna shit my guts out before every little thing I have to do that isn’t sitting at home. I’d like to just be able to go do those things, and not worry about it.
I don’t know. There’s probably more, but these are what I can think of for right now.
When I was a kid, all the way up to when I was a young adult, I used to adore being quirky and unique. It was my identity, and I loved it about myself. I just wasn’t tired yet.
I turn 33 next month, and, honestly, all I want is to be normal.
I want to be known for the things I create. Comedy, acting, and books, mainly. I want to be able to share all the love I have with people that won’t abuse me or my trust. I want to visit all the wildest and most different parts of the world. I want to find success enough that I can give back to the community in a big way. I guess since these are dreams I might as well say in which way I want to give back to the community. I want to found Star Fleet Academy. I want a school whose purpose is to train and develop the future of humanity as it grasps for the stars.
I want to be able to live in a small place with a backyard facing woods, hills, or water. I want to be able to pay my bills with enough left over for some savings, some fun stuff, and maybe a short vacation once every year or two. I want to go hiking on the weekend and I want to sit on my back porch at night and drink tea while wrapped in a blanket and I want a gaming room with a big window so I can play games late at night looking up at the sky. Why are my dreams so unattainable?
I know it’s the other side of the planet, but Australia has a Great Race our Supercars compete in every year in October. It’s the Bathurst 1000 which is about 2 hours west of Sydney.
It’s one of the tracks the Supercars race a which is a public road most of the year so you can drive a lap in a stock car (with 60kph limit).
Add comment