or a naturopath (just throwing it out there… I find specialist MDs to be very narrowly focused and often don’t look outside their box to find solutions)
Once because I was sick with food poisoning but had to make a 300 mile drive that day. Couldn’t hold the diarrhea in while vomiting on the side of the road. Luckily I had a change of clothes and got home before the second round of duplex emesis hit.
I remember when Jeremy of CinemaSins said during EWW Monsters University, “maybe Monsters Inc. should study the energy production capabilites of pantspooping.”
First week of new job, late 20s. Just started keto and trusted a fart. Managed to cut it off fairly quickly so it was just a small moist spot that I could somewhat mop up, but I had to sit in an orientation for an hour before I could drive off to buy a change of knickers.
I’ve done it twice, once was in my mid 20s when I had food poisoning and lying in bed. My boyfriend and I had had a fight during the dinner that gave me the food poisoning and when we were in bed later still a bit mad, I wasn’t feeling good but trusted a fart and shat myself. I was pretty embarrassed but he immediately forgot he was mad and took really good care of me while I puked and shat (in the toilet at least) for the rest of the night.
Then I did it again last year in a gas station bathroom. I don’t have a great excuse for this one except that we were on a long road trip and I really had to go so I went to a gross gas station washroom but then while I was doing my poo my mom kept knocking at the door panicking cause I guess she really had to pee. I felt like I finished so I wiped up, got up and was washing my hands when I trusted a fart. Thankfully I had a change of clothes in the car or else I would’ve had to sit in my own shit for the next 3 hours.
I’m suspicious of people who say they’ve never shat themselves…
I had diarrhea on the day of a performance. I had it earlier but it was in such a minor severity that I didn’t think it would be an issue, especially if I didn’t eat anything for a while. At one point during a quiet part of the performance, one of the vendors was really lowkey pressuring people to buy food, so I gave in and bought chicken bites, with the diarrhea not coming to mind at all. In hindsight, I don’t give any compliments to whoever made/stored made them.
Thirty minutes later, when the performance had heated up, I sensed it and had a split second to comprehend what was about to happen next… puh-vloooooomp! At first I was like “oh shit” (no pun intended) and was able to position myself in a way that (to my knowledge) hid my mess, which combined with the heat and the fact I was wearing a skirt made it uncomfortable, but then, after another half an hour, I had forgotten about it and just left it, heading to the bathroom in that time.
I came back to see people distancing themselves because of how ugly it was and how much it smelled since it didn’t all travel with me, combined with the fact that the place had been hit with a lot of supposed hooliganism, which triggered a streak of rule strictness. I couldn’t get the words “well it wasn’t MY shit” completely out (and a part of me felt like correcting my dishonesty there had I said it) when I was told to not return in the future. I spent the night crying because of what I had done.
I would call it 1.5 times. In the 90s, I worked for a company that gave out $50 gift cards to a local grocery store for the holidays. I was young and still lived with my parents, so I used it to buy $50 worth of beer and fish (orange roughy). Went over to my friend’s house and we drank copious amounts of beer and consumed way too much beer battered roughy. Was standing outside the next morning having a smoke and trusted a fart. That was the last time I trusted a fart with a hangover.
Next time was about 25 years later, stomach gurgling during the last 20 minutes of a 2 hour commute, and well past the last public restroom. Tried to make it home, farting as I could to release whatever pressure I could. About 5 minutes from home, last fart released about 2 tablespoons of poop into my underpants. I phoned my wife to have the door open and make sure she wasn’t in the nearest bathroom. lol.
i keep this decorative bucket with a fake flower in it on the back of the toilet, the flower can be easily dumped and the bucket is easy to clean, idk if it’s just me, but idk how people survive without an option for both
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