I’ve fallen into a deep gaming rut lately. What helped “get you back into” gaming and rediscover the magic of video games?

I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.

Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.

During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.

Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.

I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)

I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.

So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?

I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.

Manticore,
@Manticore@beehaw.org avatar

Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn't just how often you choose to play - it's also how much you're expected to play.

I'm going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.

Personal moderation:

Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it's not in a lasting way, they're just more attainable.

It's like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It's easier, it's pleasant, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it's the only thing I'm doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally 'sick' (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.

This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don't play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.

Gameplay moderation:

Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.

But now, you can't. You're an adult, you don't have that time. And yet games aren't being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)

You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there's no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don't feel as engaging.

That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it's why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.

Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?

If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.

You'll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They're also cheap enough that it's worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.

If somebody says a game is 'only 6 hours of gameplay', see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.

fische_stix,

I do two basic things when I get on a rut. I replay a favorite RPG with mods and a very specific roleplaying theme. For example I played fallout 4, console commanded myself a million caps, high charisma, and liw intelligence. I played through as a rich idiot. The other thing I do is find a game way outside my normal style and see if I can figure out the appeal that it has to other people.

hunte,

Feeling the same, even tho my life hasn't been nearly as stressful as yours. Games, especially new single player games with thousands of hours of content just aren't fun for me anymore, even tho I loved Skyrim, Fallout, Dragon Age and Witcher. But I still find a lot of fun playing games with friends.

Especially DayZ. It's like, really just taking a long walk with friends in the forest, because that's what the game is lol. Strolling arounds in Cherno, sitting together at the campfire and talking about our days, sometimes meeting with strangers and sharing that experience (or getting into a stressful firefight 😅). These are really the best experiences I had with gaming to this day.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Just downloaded DayZ on Game Pass! I'm going to check it out based on your experience you shared. Thank you!

HidingCat,

This does sound like something beyond gaming; you do have a lot on your plate like you said.

At different points in my life my gaming time also changed, depending on what my priorities are.

Eventually the want to game comes back and I'll spend a weekend or two on something fun.

It does sound like you're burnt out in general, and I'm not sure more gaming might help. I think the first thing to do is to find a way to establish some "me" time, like a solid block of an hour or two where you can do something for yourself. Doesn't have to be gaming, but it has to be for you. Once you can get that going you can work gaming into it, or some other hobby.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Yes, I definitely need to work on getting more "me" time. I am just...so exhausted. All the time.

The only time I seem to have for myself is in the early mornings when I go to the gym. Or when I'm commuting to work. Or when I'm walking the dog. All other times I am either working, or with family at home and constantly being pulled in different directions. It is a lot, and it is hard to find the balance that I think my body and mind need right now.

HidingCat,

Man, I sympathise, that's really asking for burn out.

With the exception of gym times in the morning, none of the other times sound like "me" time, more like, "not getting disturbed" time. You'll have to find a way to carve that time out yourself. Talk to the family, I hope you'll find a way to get it!

Widget,

FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.

My partner does this.

One, you might have ADHD. I can't say, but you could look into it.

Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, you're never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really you're replacing your intended task with another task and there isn't a time where you do no task.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combination...

On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly "doing something". I'm listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, I'm listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when I'm doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have "chill time" - or give myself that.

MostlyMid,

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and smaller gaming sessions might be what you are looking for.
I usually get an hour or so a day to play and I've been having a blast with Deep Rock Galactic. The game is a buy once and play with the only monetization being cosmetic DLC but I believe it is FREE on Game pass (I think); $30 on Steam but on sale for less than $10 for the next week.

It is an horde based first person shooter with 4 classes that feel unique, balanced, and bring their own strengths and tools to help out each mission. Locations are all procedurally generated, which means that you can select the same mission in the same area and it will be a new layout everytime, and it's done well so you won't get screwed over my stuff morphing into the terrain or areas blocked off cause the cave generated all screwy.

Mission difficulty can be customized to suit your wants, ranging from super chill and very few enemies, to "OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY ENEMIES AND WHY ARE THEY SO FAST?!". I have been known to play the hardest difficulty one mission, then crank it down to the easiest to finish out a quick mission before bed just to relax a bit.

You can play solo or with a group of 3 other people but playing with others is the way to go, as you get to see how all of the classes interact and help each other, plus the community has actually been wonderful; out of the hundreds of lobbies I have been in, I have had maybe 3 annoying people total. I also never use my headset for talking (sleeping kids and whatnot) but in game text chat is lively and most of your communication can be done through the "ping" system where you point your reticle at something (enemy, item, player, etc) and call it out for everyone to see. Also there is a button specifically to shout "Rock and Stone!" Which will be around 90% of what you need and will use when communicating with teammates, lol.

Unlike some other games that pressure you to keep playing to "progress your character/battle pass" I feel no urgency with this game. While there is a battle pass style system, it is all cosmetic, FREE, and usually last a few months at a time (like 6-8). If you happen to miss something from a current or previous season, they are still in game and can be found naturally through gameplay by finding "lost crates/gear" during your mission.

All in all I recommend this game to anyone who is comfortable with a FPS. Developers are friendly, community is great, game is fun and forgiving. I feel that, in a worst case scenario, it's fun for a bit and you pick up something else. Hope you find what you are looking for, Rock and Stone!

WhyNot,

I also found smaller gaming sessions to be a big help in my enjoyment. I got a Steamdeck when it released and switched to playing smaller indie games. It allowed me to pick up and play with a lot less setup time or time to overthink about what I actually want to play. I also found that shorter games helped a ton in making me feel like I’m accomplishing more in less time. My biggest burden was starting larger games that required sitting at my PC so by the time I was actually in them I already decided I wasn’t too interested. If I managed to play the game by the time I was halfway through the game something else caught my attention and it was tough to return to the original game.

MostlyMid,

I've been having that issue too. Just this year alone I tried to pick up some games I never started or never finished, mainly Stardew Valley and Kingdoms of Amalur: Awakening. Both are about halfway through and no urge to finish them at the moment...maybe in the future, but my focus is elsewhere at this moment.

My issue is with games like that I want to sit down and invest longer periods of time or immerse myself, which requires more time and less responsibilies than I have now being an adult with a job and kids. The hard truth isnt that gaming hasn't really gotten more boring for me, I just have more going on in my life and what I'm feeling is mostly just nostalgia.

It gets better, for sure. I had to take a step back and work on what was stressing me out (surprise: it was mostly my job) and everything, including my gaming sessions, seemed a bit more rewarding. Hoping the best and the best of luck for ya

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

I actually just downloaded this on Game Pass - excited to try it out. Your description and recommendation is great!

bozo,
bozo avatar

I don't know your personal tastes, but if I had to recommend one recent game to help anyone break a rut, it would be Hi-Fi Rush.

Too many games, especially those in the AAA space, are more focused on being bloated engagement treadmills over simply being fun, concise experiences. I'd recommend seeking out shorter, offline games that don't rely on RPG elements. It's also ok to just take a break from gaming altogether.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

I actually just downloaded this on Game Pass. Looking forward to it!

Ragnell,
Ragnell avatar

If you're depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.

I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. You're still you.

shiggityshwat,

Loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed is a key symptom of depression. Basically, your brain isn't making the "I enjoy this" chemicals any more. This often strongly correlates with stress, which it sounds like OP has plenty of.

OP, you need a serious break. Give yourself time to de-stress and you will eventually find yourself enjoying things again. If you can't do that immediately, then talk to your doctor and maybe you can buy some time with meds, but know that it's just a band-aid.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression I've been experiencing.

I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.

ConstableJelly,

Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that it's probably one of the best games ever made, and I can't think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else I've ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.

Along those lines, I've just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that "smaller"), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like there's a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe I'm just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.

If you haven't, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.

e-ratic,
e-ratic avatar

There are moments in Outer Wilds that left me grinning like a child. It hits at that same time of wonder I felt playing ocarina of time when I was very young

ConstableJelly,

Exactly! There were other times that I don't want to mention here cause I don't know how to hide spoilers, where my fully adult mind too was thrilled by some of the revelations.

flak,

My girlfriend got me to play Outer Wilds and the first thing I did was try to fly into the sun and she was just staring at me like “why are you like this” while I was grinning like mad.

hot_bowl_cold_soup,

The Forgotten City is the one that restored my hope in gaming.

mananevergone,

I just homebrewed my Wii and have been having a blast playing GameCube and Wii games I never had but always wanted to try.

Naruto Clash of Ninja 4 for example is a PHENOMENAL game that I had never even heard of before two days ago

DjMeas,

During the lockdowns my son was born. What's really rekindled my love for gaming was not a particular game, but how I gamed. Getting a Steam Deck totally changed things for me and made it really convenient to access my gaming library.

The first thing I did with it was not actually play new titles but visit my backlog of older JRPG games that I had missed out on (specifically the Trails series).

Gaming at my desk where I worked wasn't the same as gaming on the couch or next to my son while he was sleeping. Sounds silly but it's made it much more enjoyable!

kiddblur,

I love my steam deck and also had a son during the pandemic, but funny enough it didn't really have that effect on me. I can't really game when he's awake because he's too interested in touching the buttons/screen himself, and if he's asleep, I can just play something on my PS5 or Xbox on the couch. I do use my steam deck a lot when he's taking a car nap or whenever my wife and I want to watch a TV show together (but not the kind of show that demands full attention)

DjMeas,

I don't play games while my son is awake (ever) because why wouldn't I want to spend time with him 🐥. I usually get to sneak in my hour or two while he's asleep at night. My PC is in the den so I enjoy sitting next to him in bed while to play games for a bit.

I am looking forward to when he's old enough to start with retro games like the original Mario Bros!

kiddblur,

Yeah, basically same here. He's almost 2, so we're starting to introduce some high quality mobile stuff like pokpok and sago, and he's tried some simpler controller games (like the latest paw patrol one on game pass) but he can't really grasp the concept of how the controller controls the character on screen (even though he's great at holding the controller)

dbaaz,

Same. A steam deck is what helped me get back into games. Now I can play games 5 minutes at a time between work and quickly suspend/resume instead of committing to an hour long gaming schedule.

FreedomNuggets,

Honestly my current jump back into gaming was playing Breath of the Wild on my Switch while on deployment. I did have a hiatus a few years back which was broken by my attempt at beating Bloodborne (wholly unsuccessful, btw, it's not really my speed but I enjoyed the heck out of it). My go-to game for decompressing is Stardew Valley. I just love being able to jump in and maybe harvest some crops, maybe explore the mines, maybe go interact with the villagers even.

Another tactic of mine when I'm in a funk is to pick up an older rpg (snes or ps1 preferred) and start working on it.

larouxn,

The latest Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom, completely reignited my gaming passion. This game is incredible if you enjoy rich world building, exploration and adventure, and puzzle solving.

Tomato_666,

I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don't have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won't work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • gaming@beehaw.org
  • kavyap
  • everett
  • Durango
  • mdbf
  • thenastyranch
  • DreamBathrooms
  • khanakhh
  • magazineikmin
  • GTA5RPClips
  • cubers
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • ethstaker
  • JUstTest
  • modclub
  • Leos
  • normalnudes
  • tacticalgear
  • cisconetworking
  • ngwrru68w68
  • InstantRegret
  • provamag3
  • anitta
  • tester
  • osvaldo12
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •