I’ve fallen into a deep gaming rut lately. What helped “get you back into” gaming and rediscover the magic of video games?

I, like many gamers, grew up playing Pokémon Red and Nintendo 64 and was obsessed with Nintendo products. I graduated to a PS2 and PS3 and became super into Metal Gear Solid and Call of Duty and Fallout. Also spent a ton of time with the Guitar Hero series. I loved the escape gaming brought me and it genuinely helped me relax.

Fast forward a few years and I hadn’t really played a video game between the years of like 2011-2017. College, moving cross country and busyness of life kept me from gaming. Finally in 2017, I bought a Switch and Breath of the Wild and felt the same magical feeling I remember when I first started playing Ocarina of Time, or the first time I booted up Metroid Prime, or Metal Gear Solid 4. I started to get into online gaming and made a lot of friends. I played my Switch frequently for a few years.

During the beginning of COVID lockdowns, I turned more to reading than gaming and my Switch gathered lots of dust. I ultimately ended up buying an Xbox Series S when it was announced because I’d never owned an Xbox system and Game Pass really intrigued me. I went through a phase of being very into Destiny 2, Halo, Gears of War, Forza Horizon…a bunch of games I had never played before.

Then, a divorce, a new job change, another cross country move brought new levels of stress to my life. I lacked an attention span strong enough to focus on a video game. FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone. Gaming wasn’t even a way for me to decompress anymore, it seemed more like a chore I was procrastinating—which sucks.

I’ve fallen deeper into this lately, as more life changes have come along. I work a stressful job with long hours. I’m now a stepparent to two young boys. The little free time I have I spend walking the dog, reading, and trying to just let my mind settle and decompress. Let alone, if I try to turn the Xbox on or have the Switch on my lap, it turns into a whole event where the kids want to sit and watch and participate and ask tons of questions (which is fine, but sometimes I just want to do something by myself for me!)

I miss the time of my youth where gaming was a relief and a release for me. I miss how I felt when I first got a Switch and felt so excited and so nostalgic and reinvigorated and looked forward to playing a game! Now…I feel like I can’t even consider myself a gamer.

So. That’s a long winded way to ask if anyone else has gone through similar ruts, or fallen away from gaming, and if so, what games helped you get that spark back? What games brought you back to that nostalgic feeling you had when you first got into gaming? What games help you decompress after a long day? What games have you recently become obsessed with in such a way that you look forward to playing them and are always thinking about them?

I want to get back into gaming. I want to feel the magic again.

Jinxyface,

If you’re burnt out on games, more games won’t solve that and will just make it worse

Go explore some other hobbies for a bit

jclinares,
jclinares avatar

Excellent response, and pretty much what I was going to say. I have a few hobbies (games, movies, camping, reading, live music) that I don't always have time for, at the same time. So sometimes I'll spend my free time hiking and camping, other times I'll watch movies in the evenings when I get home, and other times I'll play games.

Even something you enjoy can get tiring, if you do it a lot; and there's nothing wrong with putting that aside for a time, to spend time doing other things you like.

Hyperreality,

Hobbies like boobmodding skyrim.

frevaljee,
frevaljee avatar

Modding skyrim is usually 99 % setting up the mods and 1 % gaming anyways, if I'm being generous.

gk99,

And put health first. I know a good chunk of the time I spend browsing my Steam library and thinking "a thousand channels and nothing's on," is me being exhausted in disguise.

The best thing to do when gaming loses its magic is far and away to just stop gaming and find new ways to rest and wind down.

ContentConsumer9999,

Gasph How dare you tell someone to touch grass?

garretble,
garretble avatar

I like to tell people I have three pillars of media - books, tv/movies, games. I’m always consuming all three, but when I feel a bit burned out on one type, I just ignore it for a bit.

Jinxyface,

Yep same, I have a list I keep of books/movies/tv/games I'm interested in. If I start watching a show and binge it for a bit, I'll take a break and read a few chapters of a book, then maybe play a game.

Variety is the spice of life, as they say

Teali0,
Teali0 avatar

This is a great point. Pursue other interests for the time being; don't necessarily stop gaming altogether though. I had a few gaming ruts in my life and around the same time I was in grad school.

Something a professor had said to the class about writing a thesis paper can apply to many things in life: "When you find yourself enjoying what you are doing, stop for the day while you are still enjoying it because you'll be excited to get back to it next time. If you stop working on something when you're forcing yourself to do it, you'll have a much harder time being motivated to continue."

It's not very profound, but I related it to the gaming rut I was in at the time but it helped me bounce back.

ConstableJelly,

Have you played Outer Wilds by chance? I agree with many that it's probably one of the best games ever made, and I can't think of any game that better encapsulates what games should be capable of. It captures the magical potential of exploration and discovery like nothing else I've ever played. So many cool ideas waiting for you to figure out, and the process is just so fun.

Along those lines, I've just been growing fonder of smaller, indie-style games, which had never been my preference before now. Games like Gris, Little Nightmares, Hades (if you consider that "smaller"), Deliver Us the Moon have left a really positive impression. Many of them are imperfect, but I feel like there's a lot of love tangible in those experiences. Maybe I'm just imagining that, but they lack the bloat that has disillusioned me with a lot of the bigger games lately, and they feel more purposeful in general.

If you haven't, look through some lists of best indie games and see if anything jumps out at ya.

e-ratic,
e-ratic avatar

There are moments in Outer Wilds that left me grinning like a child. It hits at that same time of wonder I felt playing ocarina of time when I was very young

ConstableJelly,

Exactly! There were other times that I don't want to mention here cause I don't know how to hide spoilers, where my fully adult mind too was thrilled by some of the revelations.

flak,

My girlfriend got me to play Outer Wilds and the first thing I did was try to fly into the sun and she was just staring at me like “why are you like this” while I was grinning like mad.

CorrodedCranium,

Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game? I find I get fatigued by how long some games can go on for whether it's multiplayer like The Elder Scrolls Online or a sandbox game like Red Dead Redemption.

Maybe you could try something like GRIS? It's a relaxing game with a neat art style that that only takes about 3 hours to beat.

ConstableJelly,

I mentioned Gris in my comment too! I'm in love with that game and second your recommendation.

kiddblur,

Have you considered playing a shorter singleplayer game?

this is my trick as well. I use an app called Depressurizer to sort my steam library by both review score and length simultaneously and grab one of the higher rated <8 hour games I haven't played yet, then when I finish it, I find that my slump typically ends and I can pick up a longer game again.

Worth mentioning these days I play precisely zero multiplayer games (because i've got a toddler so i need to be able to pause whatever I'm playing)

nlm,
@nlm@beehaw.org avatar

Try some chill single player games, ones that focus on a great story with no real difficulty. That helped a lot for me when I had a similar feeling.

Firewatch, the Life us Strange games, Road 96, Unravel, Superliminal to name a few.

Ragnell,
Ragnell avatar

If you're depressed, sometimes you lose interest in your hobbies. You might want to look into seeing someone.

I will say, you seem a bit worried about no longer considering yourself a gamer, like this burnout has led to a crisis of identity. You are MORE than your hobbies. Gamer is a temporary state based on what you are doing. It is okay not to be one. You're still you.

shiggityshwat,

Loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed is a key symptom of depression. Basically, your brain isn't making the "I enjoy this" chemicals any more. This often strongly correlates with stress, which it sounds like OP has plenty of.

OP, you need a serious break. Give yourself time to de-stress and you will eventually find yourself enjoying things again. If you can't do that immediately, then talk to your doctor and maybe you can buy some time with meds, but know that it's just a band-aid.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Thank you for this comment. I am working on myself and trying to see what I can do to help me get through this depression I've been experiencing.

I appreciate you reminding me that I am not defined by just my hobbies (or my work, or my failures, or whatever). I am me, and that is perfectly alright.

Tomato_666,

I bought a steam deck. Its the best thing if you don't have lots of time as you can pause and turn it off and pick up where you left off later. Obviously that won't work for online games great for project zomboid though. YMMV

Manticore,
@Manticore@beehaw.org avatar

Nothing makes me enjoy games like moderation. But moderation isn't just how often you choose to play - it's also how much you're expected to play.

I'm going to discuss both, because I think people underestimate personal moderation. But I suspect gameplay moderation is your struggle.

Personal moderation:

Games mimic psychological fulfilment (problem-solving, self-actualisation, etc). But it's not in a lasting way, they're just more attainable.

It's like buying a chocolate bar vs cooking yourself a roast meal. It's easier, it's pleasant, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying it - but if it's the only thing I'm doing, and I never put in the work for something more satisfying, I feel unsatisfied - even emotionally 'sick' (bored, restless, ennui). When they are a treat at the end of a day, they feel great. But when they are my day, I struggle to enjoy them.

This is the trap that often catches directionless people (eg: depressed, NEET, lonely). They don't play games for games, they play them to avoid the anxiety or stress of cooking a roast meal. They eat chocolate until they feel sick, and then feel too sick to cook.

Gameplay moderation:

Games are designed for people who have time to burn. Teenagers, kids, some young adults. When you were younger, you could afford to burn that time, and it felt good, because each session meant you felt that hit of dopamine for problem-solving, achievement, and progression.

But now, you can't. You're an adult, you don't have that time. And yet games aren't being designed for you anymore, but the new kids and teens. They brag about dozens or even hundreds of hours of playtime, and bloat their content with grind. (if anything, the latter has gotten even worse.)

You only have an hour to play a game, and after that hour, there's no feeling of progression or advancement - the game expects you to give it more time than that. And without the feeling of progression and advancement, games don't feel as engaging.

That is why they feel like chores, like jobs; it's why you choose things that give immediate feedback like the internet. Games are asking you to put in too much time and then not giving you enough back.

Portal 2 is considered a masterful game at five hours long, because each hour is rewarding. Is Destiny? Is Halo? Froza?

If this is your concern, my suggestion would be to step back from the bigger scale games that want to monopolise time, and embrace smaller games from indie devs.

You'll get far more variety, they tend to be much denser. They're also cheap enough that it's worth it to try a bunch of things you might not have tried if they were AAA.

If somebody says a game is 'only 6 hours of gameplay', see that as a positive, not a negative. It probably means each hour is going to mean something.

FlashPossum,

Contrary opinion - it's OK to give up hobbies you don't enjoy any more.

Gaming was an important part of your life at one point. You remember it fondly because currently you are lacking something in your life, so you're thinking - I used to enjoy gaming so I should enjoy it again.

Doesn't work like that - people go through phases. Find what you enjoy now. Yes, maybe it's gaming again. Maybe its something else - hiking, fixing motorcycles, partying ... who knows. Experiment with activities until you find something that will make you burn again!

itay227,

I agree with this, it’s ok to find something new. Maybe you’ll come back to gaming after a while.

TabbyCat,
TabbyCat avatar

What helped me after a long period of not gaming was getting a Steam Deck. I already had access to all my PC games, but now I could take them anywhere with me. Elden Ring is nice, but cuddled up in bed next to my dogs just before I go to sleep? It's like nothing else. And all the modding you can do to it too, oh my god. You'd have access to all the retro games you want, and more.

gristle,

@TabbyCat Agreed, I have enough on my Steam Deck to last me a decade but there are too many new, great games coming out to just play my comfy retro games.

Haan,

Same story here

GandalfDG,
@GandalfDG@beehaw.org avatar

For me after some time away from PC gaming, getting a steam deck was one thing that got me back into it. The other thing though was definitely selecting relatively short games. I played a lot of open-ended games that I could never finish like rimworld or crusader kings, it was nice to get back into games with a beginning middle and end. And in the same vein it means I've been playing stuff that I was interested in playing back in the 2010s but didn't really have the time/money/hardware for

boo3,

Taking breaks and work on hobby’s and stop playing online games for good. I have a pretty bad anger problem so online games where just suffering.

sadreality,

It seems many people have this experience once they hit that 30ish mark. So little time to actually sit down and enjoy a game properly.

Working too much ruins all other aspects of life.

Widget,

FPS’s seemed boring, online games couldn’t keep my attention long enough to get through a match, and eventually I’d just leave a game on the pause menu while I messed around mindlessly on my phone.

My partner does this.

One, you might have ADHD. I can't say, but you could look into it.

Secondly, you need to have some time to let your brain rest. When you bounce between tasks like that, you're never actually not doing something. People think of doomscrolling as taking a break, but really you're replacing your intended task with another task and there isn't a time where you do no task.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Definitely need to figure out if it is ADHD, depression, or a combination...

On your second point: I also need to work on this. I find myself constantly "doing something". I'm listening to music while typing this; when I walk the dog, I'm listening to an audiobook or podcast. Same when I'm doing dishes or other chores. I rarely have "chill time" - or give myself that.

Zebrazilla,
Zebrazilla avatar

Two words, Steam Deck!

This amazing device has awakened something within me, rekindling my passion for games in a way that I haven't felt in decades. After 23 years, and after restarting and attempting to play through it countless times, I'm finally on a solid trajectory to finish the original Deus Ex for the first time!

HidingCat,

This does sound like something beyond gaming; you do have a lot on your plate like you said.

At different points in my life my gaming time also changed, depending on what my priorities are.

Eventually the want to game comes back and I'll spend a weekend or two on something fun.

It does sound like you're burnt out in general, and I'm not sure more gaming might help. I think the first thing to do is to find a way to establish some "me" time, like a solid block of an hour or two where you can do something for yourself. Doesn't have to be gaming, but it has to be for you. Once you can get that going you can work gaming into it, or some other hobby.

Evolone,
@Evolone@beehaw.org avatar

Yes, I definitely need to work on getting more "me" time. I am just...so exhausted. All the time.

The only time I seem to have for myself is in the early mornings when I go to the gym. Or when I'm commuting to work. Or when I'm walking the dog. All other times I am either working, or with family at home and constantly being pulled in different directions. It is a lot, and it is hard to find the balance that I think my body and mind need right now.

HidingCat,

Man, I sympathise, that's really asking for burn out.

With the exception of gym times in the morning, none of the other times sound like "me" time, more like, "not getting disturbed" time. You'll have to find a way to carve that time out yourself. Talk to the family, I hope you'll find a way to get it!

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