Lol, even the "if legal tender is refused" concepts are for debts and not just things you want!
Like, if they're refusing to take his money after he ate food at a restaurant, he's got a bit of a point, but if he's in the grocery store and walked out with shit, they refused a customer not a debt!
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,
Section 1: For purposes of this Act, “Store” shall mean any entity which offers goods or services for sale to consumers; “Legal Tender” shall denote any form of payment acknowledged by the United States Government as valid for repayment of debts. Such includes coins and currency issued by the U.S. Treasury, checks drawn against accounts at insured financial institutions, and electronic transfers; “Consumer” shall refer to an individual purchasing goods or services from a store.
Section 2: No store shall refuse to accept legal tender as payment for its offered goods or services within the establishment’s premises; Violation of this section shall lead to immediate cessation of operating license for such store, and repeat offenders may face criminal penalties.
Section 3: In case a consumer attempts to pay for goods or services using legal tender, and the store declines such tender, then said products shall be deemed free for the consumer; Stores must provide these free products regardless of their state of damage or tampering during purchase attempt; Receipt or proof of attempted transaction can act as evidence in disputes between consumer and store.
Section 4: This Act does not apply to online transactions primarily utilizing third-party platforms or credit/debit cards as primary means of payment; Currency exchange houses, pawnshops, and other businesses mainly dealing in non-legal tender payments are exempted from this law.
Section 5: State Attorneys General and Consumer Protection Agencies will enforce this legislation; Any consumer experiencing violation of rights under this Act can file a complaint with the relevant agency; Upon successful resolution of a complaint, the complainant might receive restitution in form of compensation for process-related expenses.
Damn, as someone who loves cheesy jokes I have to remind myself sometimes people in retail probably get sick of them. Not these in particular since anyone thinking it through would realize it’s likely told to much. But just in general.
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