Is queer an equivalent substitute for lgbtq(...)+?

Hello!

I am new here, and new to the LGBT community in general. Around 6-7 weeks ago I realized I was trans(htf do you make it to 30 and not realize?)

In talking to my therapist, they said they(belonging to the community themselves) like to use queer as shorthand since it includes everyone and isn’t an unending acronym that is constantly getting new letters. I also like that and would use it, but being new, I’m not sure how others who’ve been here longer feel.

Are they equivalent?

I don’t like how the acronym keeps changing and accidentally leaving out a letter could be taken as an intentional slight.

davehtaylor,

This one is a sort of personal preference. There are people who have a problem with the word queer, and it’s understandable. I personally cannot stand the f-slur, have far too many negative memories related to it, and have no interest in reclaiming it. But queer feels fine to me. My gender and sexuality are a nebulous mess so queer feels like a good descriptor. It feels like a good way to say "not cis, not het, but no single label works so ¯_(ツ)_/¯ "

It’s also easier to say when referring to the whole group instead of LGBTQIA+. But I would only use it that way if I know the people I’m talking to are also ok with the term.

So basically: nothing formal. It’s just a personal preference. Only you can know if it feels right for you. But know your audience when using it around others.

CyberEgg,

Yes, “queer” originated as a slur and mostly got adapted as a self describing term for the community. I use it to describe myself and the community, partly because it rolls off the tongue more easily and partly because it’s a nice and easy term to describe everyone not cis heteronormative.

The term “punk” has a similar story, btw. It came into being as a slur for people that didn’t quite behave as expected by society and punks then took it as a name for themselves, saying “Yeah, I’m a punk, there’s nothing wrong with it and you can’t do shit against it,” which is also why I like to use the term “queer”. Because there’s nothing wrong with being queer and people can’t do shit against that.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Being queer is pretty punk

🤘

CyberEgg,

Yes it is. Fun side fact: transgender is a common theme especially in cyberpunk, definitely worth looking into if you didn’t yet ;)

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I did not know that!

I definitely love the anesthetic, maybe that gave me an excuse to allow myself to like some pink & purple? I do love scifi and the retrofuturistic music!

Got any recommendations?

CyberEgg, (edited )

It depends on the media you prefer. The classics would be The Matrix, 1995’s animated Ghost in the Shell (though the transgender theme is more accidentally AFAIK) or William Gibson’s 1988 book Monalisa Overdrive.

Monalisa Overdrive also inspired Janaína Overdrive, a brazilian short movie by Mozart Freire (which is still on my watchlist though).

There is then Martine Rothblatt’s From Transgender to Transhuman: A Manifesto on the Freedom of Form (again, still on my list), and the general theme of transhumanism, which is often a stand-in or expansion of transgender.

However, something you should be aware of, cyberpunk is generally dystopian and can be pretty depressing. The shiny neon aesthetic is just the sugar-coated topping. There is another world beneath it. The real world.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I am very aware of the dystopia. Maybe that’s part of the appeal for me, the contrast.i have not heard of the matrix having any trans relationship, other than the directors.

I will check those out, I have wanted to watch Ghost in the Shell for a while but never got there or it wasn’t available. The anime+trans reminded me of this video I found super interesting! It starts about “why are there so many more trans people in Japanese games?” and then goes deep into the culture differences between east and west and how they look at conformity in different ways so that homosexuality was easier to accept here and more difficult there but the reverse for trans

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRrVkZoN93c

CyberEgg,

I am very aware of the dystopia. Maybe that’s part of the appeal for me, the contrast.

Great, I just wanted to have that set. At the latest since Cyberpunk 2077 became big, the subculture and the artistic genres are all to often reduced to the aesthetic, basically ignoring all the punk elements.

i have not heard of the matrix having any trans relationship, other than the directors.

There’s more all over the movies, but central in the first movie is Neo’s transition of Thomas Anderson, someone who builds an online persona, searching for something he cannot quite get a grasp of, taking the red pill (sad but ironic how that term is used nowadays) which symbolizes the first steps on learning the truth, waking up from the Matrix and climaxing in the death of his old persona, then being reborn his true self, Neo.
Of course, this can be interpreted in many ways, but then you see the context of who made this.

That video sounds interesting, I’ll try to watch it tomorrow.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oooooo yeah, I’ll have to give that a re-watch considering the after context! And yeah, fucking red-pillers…

Wahots,
@Wahots@pawb.social avatar

I use queer when referring to a bunch of different sexual or gendered people (eg, some bi people, lesbians, an asexual person, etc etc). I use LGBT+ or simply LGBT when in contexts that include audiences of all orientations including straight, to not create confusion. LGBT+ includes everyone without being excessive imo. The only ones I see doing more than 4-5 chars anyways are usually straight or straight-facing entities (eg, groups, news stations, etc) referring to us as an entire collective. To me, going for 7+ chars in an article feels kinda like unintentional pinkwashing, but maybe that’s just me x3

retronautickz,

Yes and no. LGBT and it’s variations are “neutral”, while queer has a strong anti-assimilationist meaning behind. Queer also can easily represent uncommon or complex identities/orientations that aren’t (easily) represented by the acronym

OttoVonGoon,

I use “queer person” and “queer folk” as I find it sounds softer than just “queer” and also serves to differentiate it from bigots use of the word.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I suppose that is how I typically do it, but haven’t consciously put it together that the noun sounds worse and the adjective does not.

araly,
@araly@beehaw.org avatar

i never say lgbt, it feels heavy, especially with the full lgbtqia (I already don’t know what can come after)

i use gay for any kind of not straight sexuality, and queer to me also includes trans stuff, ace, aro…

we’re not cis and or straight, we’re queer

Franzia,

I use queer as short for genderqueer, but I use gay as short for lgbtq (minus the ia+ in this case) and I do respect and understand if someone does the opposite and uses queer as the blanket term for lgbtqia+, that’s fine. When I was growing up and it was LGBT, queer was usually conaidered an insult (as kids we played Smear the Queer, which probably helped me come out of the closet tbh) But it’s literally in the acronym now. It’s not a hateful word, but could be used hatefully on a rare occasion.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Oooooo I remember that game… 😬

emma,

I’m part of the We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it generation, so for me it will always include everyone, even if fashions change.

mooncabbage,

The term queer is confusing to me because within the community there has been pushback on using it and I’m not totally sure what it’s supposed to mean. I’m a cis woman, but I’m attracted to anyone, but mostly women, but sometimes not men at all, and it seems to change so I can’t pin down what I am and I don’t love the boxes I’ve been given. The terms don’t feel right so I say queer just because it’s so much easier. I’m not sure this helps to answer your question but just wanted to share my experience, I’m curious if anyone else uses queer in a similar way as a cisgender person?

Zuberi,
@Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Queer is a blanket term for “none of your business” imo. If they inquire further they might be an ally, but otherwise it’s easier to disengage

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I kind of like that angle. It feels a little like the original jab has been turned all the way around to jab the other way.

reverendsteveii,

This is an organic development from a global community. Neither I nor anyone else speak for the community, definitions will not be universally accepted and they will change over time. Being said, “queer” was initially a term of exclusion. It meant anything other than “normal” (where normal was defined by the oppressors as cisgendered, heterosexual, and heteroromantic). I seet was, at the time, intended in a negative way. When I use it now, I keep the denotation and invert the connotation. Why yes, I am absolutely not cisgendered, heterosexual and heteroromantic. I’m something other than those three things in combination and I’m owning it. I like queer because it automatically expands to include new ways of being as they’re discovered. When I was a kid I knew I wasn’t straight because women turned me on and men turned me on. So i went with "bi”. Now I’m in a relationship with a trans person. That kinda means “bi” doesn’t fit, or at least my understanding of it at the time didn’t. I could’ve moved to pansexual but, frankly, I didn’t feel like it and a lot of people use bi to mean “hetero and not-hetero” rather than “man or woman” or “gay or straight”. So that’s a second time my sexuality, or my understanding of it, has shifted. Then I discovered the concept of demisexuality. Understanding myself better is, of course, a big plus but that means I’m now a straightbisexual because I like men and women anyone potentially regardless of gender but I’m also demi. It gets really complex, so I just say “queer” and then am willing to address any confusion that arises from that as well.

As far as leaving letters out of the LGBTOMFGLMAOBBQ+ acronym goes, I’ve not run into anyone who took that as an intentional slight other than with the Aunt Toms in the “drop the T” movement that wants to exclude gender queer people from the queer movement. Unless you’re intentionally trying to divide the community by excluding people, the myriad subgenres of queer including those that haven’t been discovered or popularized yet are what the q and the plus are for.

Zuberi,
@Zuberi@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I was in college (huge transphobe) and had a gender studies major sit me and some other students down for a 1.5 hour lesson

To my knowledge, queer can be used as a blanket term for “not-cis but it’s none of your fucking business.” At least this is how I use it anyway

Edit: The term might also help reduce violence against the lgbt. The current issue with cons and some libs is that they seem to think it’s alllllllllllll about talking about sex. A term like queer implies but doesn’t explicitly give details. Should they feel comfortable being fully out? 100%. Is that the safest move in the American christofascist-hellscape? Likely not yet :(

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I think because so much of it is sex-adjacent, they feel like you already brought that up as part of it instead of seeing multiple components of a topic. Definitely, they don’t think about it as much as we do so it’s a very different in their minds

chuso,
chuso avatar

I like to see it that way, as an easy way to refer to everyone who doesn't fit within the cishet norm.
As others have mentioned, this used to be a derogatory term, so some people may still feel uncomfortable with it, but it has been reclaimed since then and I think nowadays we have long past the point where most people still see it as a derogatory word.
Also, it seems it annoys Graham Linehan, which is always a bonus: https://twitter.com/Glinner/status/1681657946529202182

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I love it honestly! Though, I do feel for the people that spent their lives hearing hurled as a slur. 😕

Millie,

Queer is great. It’s one syllable rather than four plus. And honestly, I think it comes off as a little more down to Earth.

ada,
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

The way I use it is that Queer is an opt in label that in some way is embracing the idea of rejecting societal cishet norms.

There are many LGBT folk that don’t identify with the word queer, and they are mostly folk who just want to blend in, live their life, and have people forget that they exist.

People who self label as queer though tend to want society to change to better fit us, they tend to be more vocal and open about rejecting the bullshit that society puts on us.

Blahaj_Blast,
@Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Geez, I should’ve expected to see you here but I didn’t! I love how active you are!

Definitely I want society to accept me for me, but/and I want to blend in.

I want to be able to be me(whoever that is) and nobody to give a shit!

Slightly off topic, but do you know of any other queer or queer friendly or themed comminuties or whatever? I’m obvious from the blåhaj, but o ly subscribe to like 5 other places. I definitely want to find more queer/lgbtq… + friendly spaces to hang!

It’s been great! I have a few accounts across the fediverse, but have spent a lot of time in this zone lately.

ada,
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

The whole instance basically exists because I wanted a way of accessing lemmy communities back when lemmy was barely a thing. I’ve been active for a while now, and it just so happens that 6000 of my closest friends have joined the instance since then :P

As for other communities, the only other one I use is !transgender. There are more out there, lots of them memey, like egg_irl etc, but I’ve never really been part of those spaces.

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