Beehaw has a strict no hate speech policy and the mods aren’t afraid to put their foot down when people are sort of toeing the line about being a terrible person. That’s my instance and I’m very proud of it and it’s mod team. Sounds like it would be a good fit for you, too. Also, even if you don’t get an account there, you may be happy hanging out on the communities they host. Here’s a link to the mods describing their philosophy. https://beehaw.org/post/107014