bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

1
Stephen King: listen guys
King: i'm kinda concerned that those bullies over at clarion west might try to pull something
King: so i've hired some security for the campfire
Poe: you what
Poe: steve why would you do that
King: no no trust me on this

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

2
King: so i hired the dorsai irregulars as security
Poe: the what
King: it's a special security force made up of sci fi fans
King: led by robert asprin
King: you'll like him, he's funny
Poe: like piers anthony funny or terry pratchett funny
King: uhhh
King:

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

3
King: submitted for the approval of the midnight-
Robert Asprin: hold up
Barker: what is this
Robert Asprin: i am currently assessing thread levels
Barker: steve who is this guy
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: PLEASE
Asprin: remain calm

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

4
Asprin: sir please step over here
Asprin: i am scanning the area for potential security risks
Barker: steve what the fuck is this
King: oh this is robert asprin, he's doing security
Asprin: scanning
Asprin: scanning
Asprin:
Barker: steve what the-
Asprin: SCANNING

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

5
Barker: steve what is this
King: its the dorsai irregulars, a security force made up of sci fi fans
Barker: oh yeah? great
Barker: cuz when i think of effective security
Barker: i definitely think of sci fi fans
Barker: definitely the guys you want to rely on in a pinch

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

6
King: i think you're being unfair clive
King: i think these guys can probably be pretty professional
King: i mean, look
King: they have matching berets and everything
Barker: oh are their fedoras in the wash

NullNoMore,
@NullNoMore@mastodon.social avatar

@bitterkarella - that last line was mean and honestly a little hurtful /approving

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

7
Robert Asprin: sir i have a story
King: oh is it a scary story?
Asprin: sir it is a funny story sir
Asprin: it is about a demon from the dimension perv
Asprin: making him a perVECT
Asprin: not a perVERT
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

8
Asprin: a perVECT, not a perVERT
Asprin: that is the joke sir
Barker: this fucking sucks
Asprin: sir i'm going to need to ask you to step aside sir
Barker: what the?! NO
Asprin: sir i need to perform an ocular patdown
Barker: what the fuck- NO.

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

9
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i will need you to submit to an ocular patdown before i can allow you entry to this campfire perimeter
Shelley: what the fuck
Shelley: steve who the fuck is this
Barker: yeah see that's what i was saying

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

10
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: MA'AM
Asprin: i cannot allow you to take this weapon into the campfire perimeter
King: oh rob that's just mary, she's cool
Asprin: SIR
Asprin: i need you step back and let me do my job
King: but rob-
Asprin: SIR

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

11
Asprin: ma'am i need you to hand over the weapon
Shelley: oh you want me to give you my knife
Asprin: yes ma'am i need you to give it to me
Shelley: yeah i'll give it to you
Shelley: i'll give it to you alright
Shelley: [stabs asprin]

bitterkarella,
@bitterkarella@sfba.social avatar

12
Asprin: man down! man down!
Asprin: aughhhh
Asprin: and i only got to tell my pervect/pervert joke one time

Penguinflight,
@Penguinflight@mastodon.scot avatar

@bitterkarella We need more Mary Shelleys.

BrainburnerGames,

@bitterkarella You had me at "dorsai"

solipsistnation,
@solipsistnation@gweep.cat avatar

@bitterkarella once again you have featured my high school reading and once again I feel personally attacked.

chris_evelyn,
@chris_evelyn@troet.cafe avatar
mythicfox,
FeralRobots,
@FeralRobots@mastodon.social avatar

@bitterkarella What about the vests?! When I last saw them they also had matching vests!

Wraithe,
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

@bitterkarella @_L1vY_ TBH I’m almost shocked to see anyone mention Robert Asprin at all. I kept ALMOST crossing paths with him when I was in the SCA

Wraithe,
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

@bitterkarella @_L1vY_ And I’m gonna be clear - I LOVED “Myth Adventures” yes it was a lot of stupid puns and silly stereotypes, but they were fun.

In particular a line from one of them always stuck in my head about how it was easier to take the love of your friends when it’s couched in sarcasm than when it’s unfilteredly honest. (I can’t find the exact quote and I don’t wanna butcher it 😀)

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • random
  • Durango
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • tacticalgear
  • khanakhh
  • Youngstown
  • mdbf
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • everett
  • ngwrru68w68
  • kavyap
  • InstantRegret
  • JUstTest
  • cubers
  • GTA5RPClips
  • cisconetworking
  • ethstaker
  • osvaldo12
  • modclub
  • normalnudes
  • provamag3
  • tester
  • anitta
  • Leos
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines