I wish people knew how many hobbies (or at least hobby communities) they push people away from by aggressively talking down to people who are also interested. It’s not even necessarily intentional gatekeeping. It’s just making people who want to enjoy that interest feel like idiots by trying to prove they’re smart constantly and not having a two-way conversation. Like ripping something apart out of their hands to “do it better” without asking. It happens all the time.
@hacks4pancakes The related corollary to this is the “you’re enjoying {…} wrong” crowd; which is something that makes me so cross when I hear / see it. 😬
@hacks4pancakes I don't use Stack Overflow or such sites anymore for that reason. People gatekeep without even realizing it and hurt anyone with an interest in a new subject or activity. Acceptance is just as important as having the right answer.
@hacks4pancakes This is true. It happens to most people who show off their work in public and then told, "Oh, my daughter can do that, she's only 5" or likewise, "I can buy that at Walmart for $4.00." How insulting people are when they want to bring others down. People suck.
@hacks4pancakes thanks for that toot. I believe sometimes I have tendencies to do that. I don’t have ill-intentions, but tend to do it anyway. Thanks for reminding us!
@hacks4pancakes this kind of thing really pisses me off... I used to run a shooting club and most of our members were 'rejects' from the other stuck up clubs on site. I just don't get how you can supposedly be passionate about something and not want to encourage others with an interest to be the same... people are weird 🤷♂️
@hacks4pancakes part of the reason i do not talk to my dad anymore, with quite a few hobbies of mine that i just wanted to show him he immediately went into "You are doing it wrong!" mode.
@hacks4pancakes This isn’t new. ever try to help a tradesman do the thing he’s paid to do? try it sometime. i’m sure there are tradesmen out there that love helping others learn. but most of the ones i’ve interacted with just show you how to do a thing by showing you how they do it. and telling you that you’re doing it wrong.
@hacks4pancakes I have left hobbies due to "teachers" that were just frustrated non-professionals. They didn't actually want to teach, they just needed to pay the bills because they couldn't make it as a pro. They were a miserable lot.
@hacks4pancakes That has turned me off yoga and most dance classes. I like them, but it seems that I don’t like them enough because they stay in the confines of my hobbie time and I don’t feel pressure to get any good at it.
People who have their hobbies become their lifestyles/personalities get aggravated.
Teachers have asked me to stop coming to class if I don’t commit to learn choreos for a show. I’m almost 40, I’m not doing your vanity recitals.
This seems like a good time to ask folks what their hobbies are...
What would yall like to share with the world? What can you talk a stranger's ear off about? Also, what is another something you wish you could talk someone's ear off about bc you're interested in it? I'll go first: birds, arduino.
@hacks4pancakes@donmelton that’s why I don’t talk to anyone about most of my dabbling hobbies, nor share them. I do them for myself, and I don’t care to, nor need to share.
@hacks4pancakes It’s hard for some people to understand because you know more, doesn’t mean you have to always prove it. It can easily discourage people. Wife was part of a writing group and a young girl about 16 came to it. She shared some writing and one of the professional writers in the group under the guise of constructive criticism proceeded to tear her writing down until my wife stepped in when the group leader didn’t. Needless to say she didn’t return.
Sociopath on the sidelines view...
It isn't just hobbies & their communities where you can find this.
See also: The people who were hugely upset about new people joining Mastodon who didn't know all the of things the community accepted as standard & promptly had their heads ripped off for not knowing the unwritten rules of the community.
Nothing says Ohai Join us like screaming how they ruined everything for making a mistake.
@hacks4pancakes I'm sure there are a couple of hobbies that I thought about getting into, but ultimately decided not to due to the community not being welcoming.
When groups do this, it can be a big deterrent and ultimately makes the overall community worse.
@hacks4pancakes I recently learned that there’s a whole group of gatekeepers that fetishize brands of woodworking tools, and while it’s not surprising that this exists, it’s terribly disappointing.
@hacks4pancakes I'm reminded of an old blog defining "the model train ghetto" and explaining how games could avoid becoming similar. It's a very real problem in so many communities.
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