@sarajw my story is surprisingly similar to yours. Christian camps as a teenager (Minehead and Shepton Mallet, if you’ve ever been to either of those), and there was at least one “falling over” session where someone was praying for me, and definitely gave a little push. I don’t think I ever really fully believed, as much as I wanted to - it was more about the people and the community for me. I carried on through university (made some good friends who I’m still in touch with), but then when I left uni, I was questioning the institution more, and wanted to step away from the whole thing. It caused some friction in my (still very Christian) family, but nothing that didn’t heal, for which I am eternally(!) grateful)
Other coincidence with your story, I also had my second child 2 weeks into the first Covid lockdown. To be fair, I had my first child 2 weeks into the first lockdown too.
I don’t know many people with the same kind of story as mine, so this was good to read