SabiLewSounds, 3 months ago

#MutualAid vs #Charity

To many I have been deemed unsuitable to receive care or support - even without money involved

It's hard to continue to fight for #SuicidePrevention #DisabilityPride and #TraumaSurvivors while I can barely get out of bed

I am too hungry and in pain to sleep

In 2 hours I have to be alert to look after my mom

In 2 hours my #EmotionalSupportBunny needs food and water and I haven't been able to clean his litter box

I'm dizzy, weak and probably anemic

I want to give up

SabiLewSounds, 3 months ago

The more I isolate the more in danger I am

The weaker my body the more I am forced to isolate

A month ago I only needed $1800 it's now more than double

If I had some fancy accolades I'm sure thousands would have been raised

But I'm just brown, "sad" and poor - what I have to give isn't wanted

At this moment I'm glad I didn't end up giving more of myself to people who would let me be erased

I'm the only one I seek

SabiLewSounds, 3 months ago (edited 3 months ago)

Those who see my worth have continually done what they can

I'll never forget that even as I watch my mother perish in terror by my side because I'm 100% sure a "shelter" will kick her out because of her #dementia

I will never forget those who fought with me until the bitter end

I'm so tired of masking

I'm so tired of being betrayed

SabiLewSounds, 3 months ago

There is nothing I want more right now than to speed up the inevitable because the suffering hurts so much

Watching people's words never matching their actions disgusts me

I can't even bring myself to associate with anyone who reminds me of any of it even if I cared for the connection deeply

I feel used and discarded

I feel that I am screaming into the void

I wish I were "fun" and not disabled