I was contacted by a recruiter on LinkedIn about a job at a high-frequency trading firm and was feeling curious so I entertained him and took the call. Not sure if I actually care about the job?
Like, HFT firms are kind of like the economic equivalent of parasitic organisms. But it's not like I think the automotive industry is that great either.
I have no idea where I could work that would actually be fulfilling.
Maybe I should only focus on getting the best paying job I can tolerate. Maybe worrying about whether or not my job is making anything better is a fool's errand. Maybe I should just submit to the nihilism and just be a worker drone that's only concerned about getting a paycheck.
I keep coming back to my recently acquired nihilism and deep pessimism about the future. As in, I don't know what to do with my life, because I've got it stuck in my head that everything is fucked and nothing sort of a dramatic revolution will make a difference.
I have this need to make my life matter in some way in some greater context, but I am unable to see a way in which to do that. Everything just seems like it's pissing in the wind.
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