the only reason ADHDers struggle is because society is set up wrong, but I don’t think that’s true, at least for me.
I’d say you’re exceptional in that you’re very clear on your least favorite parts of ADHD and recognize that society can’t do much to help.
For me, the H is particularly problematic as an office worker. And even as a uni student, I thought it was insane how many of my classmates were capable of just… spending all day in their rooms. Studying or gaming or whatever. Growing up, I always had eager companions for shaking off the restlessness and it never occurred to me that I was unusual.
My recurring thought was “how are people expected to do this?” Which I think falls in line with the societal blame angle.
Being unable to remember anything, unable to self-start, and hypersensitive to rejection would be massive problems in any world.
But you pointed out some very real issues I have with myself and have my own coping mechanisms for. Going this route, I think the “wired different” interpretation pointed out by others makes the most sense.
Generally, I don’t have an issue with it. “Ill” implies that I’ve ever had a “healthy” state and that I want to get back there. And that’s just not true.