Dating advice for privacy conscious

Due to my “privacy consciousness” (yes, you could call it digital paranoia, but that sounds as if i were ill and not just conscious about how data trade works in the age of total surveillance) dating apps are no options - the compromise i’m living with is owning, using and carrying a phine with me but without any non-free or known malicious (tracking, data-mining, spying, etc) software.

Any advice on how to get to know interesting people? How did you get to know your partners or acquantances? Did you just give in and opt for one or another dating platform?

captainlezbian,

Get hobbies and go out irl

frankenswine,

i have hobbies and i do go out - so what now?

captainlezbian,

Do you make friends while out? Flirt?

misskoula,

Try to be social in real life, get out, go to the gym, talk to your neighbors, take some classes be a social smoker :)

Just be open, wait for others to tell their story, show some care about the world

fireweed,

To meet interesting people, be an interesting person. Pick up some hobbies, volunteer work, and/or exercise routines. Choose ones that are social, frequented by other people your own age, and most importantly of interest/passion to you. I’d highly recommend activities that involve the outdoors as a place to start; in my experience they tend to be less stuffy and better for socializing if everyone’s naturally moving around (example: chatting up a stranger at the gym = creepy; chatting up a stranger on a group hike or river cleanup event = expected/encouraged). You may need to shop around for different activities and groups until you find one you jive with and that’s okay. Above all else, do NOT go into them specifically with dating in mind! Your goals should be: 1) engaging in an activity of interest/passion, 2) making new friends/acquaintances, 3) learning about new activity/socialization opportunities (often the best stuff is discovered through word-of-mouth, best friends met as a friend-of-a-friend, etc). Dating opportunities are sure to pop up, but be patient because they’ll usually be when you least expect it. If you force the issue you risk coming off as pushy/creepy. Remember most people are just there to engage in the activity and maybe make new friends; if you want a scene where flirtation is expected and most people have dating in mind stick with bars, speed dating events, etc.

Dave,
@Dave@lemmy.nz avatar

People still meet each other offline, through shared interests. Join a club. Whether that’s football, croquet, knitting, books, or LARPing (despite what the What We Do In The Shadows series says).

frankenswine,

For dating? This kinda feels wrong, no?

Dave,
@Dave@lemmy.nz avatar

You don’t do it looking for a date. You do it because you enjoy it!

But people meet life partners when they are doing things they enjoy, not when they are doing things they are doing just to try to get a date with any old person. You can try the thing where you ask out people until someone says yes, but that’s unlikely to result in a relationship.

But ultimately, you’re not going to meet your life partner unless you’re meeting people in general. People can be in your life without needing them to be someone to date. Go have fun with people! You never know what might happen.

frankenswine,

not sure where “life partner” got into the mix, but my question is about dating people. like: getting to know someone on a personal, more intimate level than through a common friend, similar hobby, same club, etc. i’m talking about the next step/level

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