When I post a timeline, I will almost invariably get at least one comment along the lines of "you look great in both pictures", and whereas I think it usually is coming from a supportive place, it forces me to do emotional labor, and that's not great.
Let me explain.
In those pre-transition pictures, I was borderline suicidal. I was clinically depressed for decades. Anti-depressants masked it for a while. I refused to do therapy, because I already knew what I needed and I knew I couldn't have it.
For. Decades.
I would look in the mirror and feel I was disfigured. That someone else was looking back. That I was looking at a shell surrounding a body of pure hurt.
It took transition and a couple of years of living as my true self, the person I always knew myself to be, to be able to look at pre-transition photos of myself without reliving those feelings. Now, with time and distance, yeah, I was a decent looking guy. But I was never a guy.
