AutisticDoctorStruggles

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 5 days ago to random

Nothing worse than being told you're rude because your answer came out snappy because you're really stressed about traveling. 😤 (I said repeatedly I am stressed because of traveling)
"I understand you're stressed but what's up with the attitude?"
"I am not trying to be rude, I am stressed."
"Well you are."

And if I say autism sometimes shows up like this I will get the ol' "I can't even say something because then you'll bring up autism".
How am I supposed to deal with this?

#ActuallyAutistic

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 19 days ago to random

I thought I was gonna get a full but kind of cozy and calm day in the lab. But things are not going so well with my RNA extraction (which has worked beautifully in my hands a previous time, but I don't do this particular one regularly) so I had to stress to find someone who can give advice.. am afraid of losing the precious samples 🙈 aaaaaaahhhhhhhh

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 25 days ago to random

@purplepadma Charlotte, are you ok?

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Deflated. At least this week is over now

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Wish me luck, talking to my manager in 10 mins. I don't want to cry but I already cried in front of a coworker yesterday and most of yesterday evening, and feeling like it might come out more.
I really really hope for assuring words and support.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

It's not going very well with the not ruminating. I played some guitar and sung - hoped it would calm my nerves and it probably has.. was listening to some music from my teenage years and was mending, cried a little more...
I'm not in a very good place. I hope I can manage to sleep tonight.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Please clap! I took the very uncomfortable step and notified a project I was supporting on the condition that I have time and no other higher priority projects that I can't support them at the moment due to other workload.
Trying to set those boundaries.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Feeling stressed and dysregulated today.
In part because some analysis is not as conclusive as I hoped for, in part due to other people being inconsistent af, in part due to big big meeting coming up tomorrow where I will put forward some asks for Neurodiversity support to our senior leadership at my work and is so important to me... And a few other small unplanned, uncertain things sprinkled about. Aaaaaahhhh!
#ActuallyAutistic

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Lots of peopling today...
Also just got the news that our floor will be re-organised which means my unofficial office will disappear 🫠 need to talk to my line manager and see what we can do 🙈 I am scared.
This office is one of the few things really helping me to be on site and not completely burn out.
#ActuallyAutistic

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

@purplepadma 💚 I wish you a good night!

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 1 month ago to random

Heading to the concert now, I AM SO HYPE!!!!!!!!

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 2 months ago to random

SO and I started discussing pet ownership (dog or cat), we are both longing for a floof or two and while I think I would be a good pet owner in general I am still a bit worried about how it would be when I am doing poorly. Of course, partner can probably step up most of the time, in these cases and probably the pet would help with feeling poorly too.. I am potentially worrying too much? How are other disabled folks with pets experiencing pet ownership?

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 2 months ago to random

One more day! Our speaker will arrive soon and present at 10:00! I really hope it will be packed in the auditorium! It certainly sounded like many people intend to come!
I am feeling okay-ish, but this will probably be an intense day!

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 2 months ago to random

Das Leben kann Spuren von Müssen enthalten.

"Life can contain traces of musts" - in German "musts" (Müssen) and dativ of "nuts" (Nüssen) are spelled almost the same, so that makes it sound like a declaration of possible allergens on a package of chocolate.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 3 months ago to random

For the #ActuallyAutistic people working full-time. Please do an online search of how many of those 8 hours a day the average (office) worker is actually productive and adjust the expectations for yourself way down.

Yeah, I'm mainly trying to convince myself to work not so incredibly hard.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 3 months ago to random

I am pretty proud of myself. I just successfully trained 10 people on a robot I am responsible for. It was an intense, high-masking 1 hour but at least I didn't have to train them all during several occasions, which would have been equally high-masking but more time effort! They were all very nice and interested and thankful too, so that helped!

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 4 months ago to random

#AskingAutistics are there any movie recommendations with good representations of autism?

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 7 months ago to random

I've started responding with "no apologies needed" when people say sorry for things that are completely natural or beyond their control or not their responsibility in the hopes it normalizes not feeling bad for things out of our power.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 8 months ago to random

If I believed in reincarnation I'd aspire to be reborn as a house cat owned by DINKs.

I'm tired.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 8 months ago to random

Oufff... I think I'm in bad shape today. Certainly the near-meltdown from Saturday didn't help. I also tried out at a singing ensemble yesterday & unfortunately not at all what I expected.. high-masking 2 hours of practice plus packed public transport there & back. Then the bad night's sleep I feel very dysregulated & close to tears.
I've seen 7 doggos on my way to work at least.
#actuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticStruggles

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 9 months ago to random

Ooohhiii... Setting boundaries and saying no is tough. A relative of SO asked if I could do a crochet project for them and like.. no. I don't want to do the things I do for fun to be a job...
I explained exactly that but I felt such a hurdle.

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 10 months ago to random

Vacaaaaaation!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉😎😎😎

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 10 months ago to random

I've put too much on my plate today and not in a good way like when you accidentally take too many fries (not that that seems possible).

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 10 months ago to Lace

Feeling a bit better overall today (even though I was just blessed with a headache 😅) but the cough is a bit less violent while also having taken less meds. I was incredibly pleased to notice some mental bandwidth, so I started teaching myself a little bit of #tatting. I had stumbled across the technique a while ago & had ordered a #tattingShuttle just waiting for me to have time & energy to try it out!
I'm following a YT tutorial & I'm about 3 loops in on the pattern: https://youtu.be/QRxx-erePQM

AutisticDoctorStruggles, 11 months ago to random

I was just minding my own business, re-buying pants (because how can you not if you finally found a model that works for you?) When a child had a meltdown or tantrum with lots of screaming. Not saying it shouldn't have (children's gonna child) but it gave me quite the visceral response, almost triggering something in me... 😱 That was intense, I feel pushed to my limit.
#ActuallyAutistic #SensoryStruggles #ActuallyAutisticStruggles