In the series "so that's an autism thing too": difficulties in cooking. I have hard time coming up with the shopping list outside of the routine things which I always check against a list on my phone. It's especially difficult to plan what particular dishes should be cooked in the following days.
Once I got hang of cooking -- which happened after I had turned 30, almost 35 -- I learned to like cooking when there's no rush and the recipe is clear. I even can improvise, albeit on quite restricted range. However, when my spouse isn't around, I default to microwaving things or eating frozen pizzas.
@LehtoriTuomo@actuallyautistic We've been struggling with similar things in our household. We started making a list of dishes for inspo, which helps with deciding& planning of groceries.
I also go for easy meals when I am alone as it simply saves bandwidth. The expectation that we need "proper dinner" sometimes leads me to masking that I'd be perfectly fine with alternative food. Some days I could be content eating 1 kg of strawberries for dinner but it feels unacceptable in company.
Ooh the train is quite busy! I always used to get the previous train which was almost empty. But I have a table/window seat. Off we go in the sunshine!
Just put a layer of crushed seashells on top of the topsoil in our new raised herb bed, it looks smashing! Really pleased with how the garden’s looking right now. Tom has devoted his afternoon to scarifying the lawn while I’ve been weeding and potting up. One enormous weed came free after much digging and tugging very suddenly, showering me with dirt which has immediately clung to the layer of sun cream on my arms and chest. I look very grimy indeed. Time for a shower!
Good morning, I slept better thank goodness. The weather is sunny despite some big dark clouds, we’ve got one load of washing out on the line and another lined up to do. Today is going to be a quiet day, no plans except maybe a run later. You?
@purplepadma slept pretty well, one more day of work, then weekend with friends over to play Dungeons and Dragons :)
Hopefully it won't be too intense though we have some peopleing planned!
Yesterday I was wearing sunglasses when I went to the city centre as it was sunny. Oh my, what a difference it made to the sensory overdrive. As I mentioned earlier, I like to watch around but had finally noticed that I keep grounding myself by looking at ground due to all the visual input. Sunglasses took the edge off and it was way easier to look at things.
I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/ @actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd #recoveringfromreligion #LateDiagnosedAutism #actuallyautistic#neurodivergent
@Ilovechai@actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd oufff sounds rough! I've never been in the situation to leave those type of religious systems as my parents are U-boat Christians (only show up 1-2 a year) and I've been consciously atheistic since my teens but I do relate to feeling lack of a RL support system. For me the nerd space has been the best (TTRPGs, Magic, comics, boardgames etc) & I think is disproportionately filled with other ND peeps. There are people with similar social needs out there!
Got this fountain pen ink erasing pen a few weeks back. I have been so distracted and busy that I haven’t tried it yet. Will remedy that today 🥰 #FountainPen#StationeryAddict
Good morning. I don’t feel as perky and cheerful today, maybe that’s just because of the heavy rain or the fact that I didn’t sleep well. Got to go out into the wet to pick up my fit note and pop into the post office. I’d rather go back to sleep. How do you feel today?
@purplepadma had a horrible night and dragged myself to work instead of happily cycling in, as I had planned... Experiments are running, haven't fucked up anything yet and hoping to avoid any major fuckups despite my brain being slow and feeling super tired. At least it's sunny here! 🙈
Have a meeting with my manager later and hoping to get help with my work load. (I'm getting too many support requests at the moment and she has final authority over prioritising)
I hope you have a gentle cosy day!
@purplepadma it was ok! I was very tired all day but I managed. Lab work seemed to go well, I will sit with the analysis today. My meeting with manager was helpful, she setup a meeting to discuss with a project to reduce their big ask to me which is great, I slept much much better tonight, though I woke up very tired, but at least today I get to work from home.
How are you feeling?
@purplepadma completely get it! I struggle with relatives that I have nothing in common with or completely wildly different views and values. I hope it's a pleasant get together!
1 year since the most life-changing realization ever. My resting heart rate dropped by ~10 points after I figured it out.
Knowing this about myself has given me so much peace & confidence. It's given me even more compassion for myself and others. I advocate for my needs now, and I have better boundaries.
Every day I marvel at how amazing we ND folks are, and how much we bring to the world.
I thought I was gonna get a full but kind of cozy and calm day in the lab. But things are not going so well with my RNA extraction (which has worked beautifully in my hands a previous time, but I don't do this particular one regularly) so I had to stress to find someone who can give advice.. am afraid of losing the precious samples 🙈 aaaaaaahhhhhhhh
@purplepadma thanks 💜yeah trying to not feel too panicked and stressed, I am of course doing everything to the best of my ability. Hopefully I will get some purified RNA, the samples are nothing to be easily generated again unfortunately so I am feeling the pressure. The question is also if I will be able to use a different method to extract the other half today, otherwise all my planning will get delayed a lot, machine bookings will be hard to get etc... 🙈🙈🙈not what I needed to day! 😅🥲
I didn’t garden. I went back to bed where I felt much safer. I dozed fitfully, depressed dreams. Missed lunch, missed the best of the weather. Came outside to find Tom and Miss Cinnamon pottering about sorting things on the patio. I just feel useless, an onlooker
@purplepadma sending love! It's ok to be useless, too (even if I think you're not). You are a worthy person even when you're just getting through the days, minute by minute. I hope you get some comfort! 💚
@purplepadma 💚💜 no, we didn't have one today but will on Thursday and we get Friday off! So it's a short week thankfully! Work has been intense so the break is highly appreciated!