@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

AutisticDoctorStruggles

@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to

(fully-vaccinated!) #PhDone '21. late-id #ActuallyAutistic. Burnout & depression lived experience. #neurodivergent 🎧 #womanInSTEM 👩‍🔬🧬 #crafter 🪡🧵🧶 #catLover 🐈‍⬛ #gaming 🎮🎲 #atheist #childfree #music 🎶🎸 #metal 🤘

Abortion is healthcare.
Trans rights are human rights.
Disability rights are human rights.
Black lives matter.
Smash the patriarchy.

Get vaccinated!

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AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

Please clap! I took the very uncomfortable step and notified a project I was supporting on the condition that I have time and no other higher priority projects that I can't support them at the moment due to other workload.
Trying to set those boundaries.

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Not saying I’m known locally for my sugar dependency, but I just walked into the Spanish deli cafe and the waitress simply said, “Coca cola?”

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma the barista at our company cafe also started asking "Chai latte?" Since this is my typical order. :-)

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

Feeling stressed and dysregulated today.
In part because some analysis is not as conclusive as I hoped for, in part due to other people being inconsistent af, in part due to big big meeting coming up tomorrow where I will put forward some asks for Neurodiversity support to our senior leadership at my work and is so important to me... And a few other small unplanned, uncertain things sprinkled about. Aaaaaahhhh!

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

I feel absolutely awful this morning and Tom isn’t being very sympathetic. He is saying stuff like, “Right, you’ve got to push on through and do things, build your mental resilience.” TBH that makes me feel like he thinks it’s my own fault for not being “resilient enough”. I feel like he is running out of patience with me

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma oh Charlotte I feel with you so much. I feel similarly way too often and things my partner says can feel much less supportive than usual. I have also an easy time to assume they think I am to blame somehow. Not to invalidate your feelings, it is hard to hear things that feel unhelpful or blame-y.
🫂💜

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

Lots of peopling today...
Also just got the news that our floor will be re-organised which means my unofficial office will disappear 🫠 need to talk to my line manager and see what we can do 🙈 I am scared.
This office is one of the few things really helping me to be on site and not completely burn out.

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@Fury yeah, it's really bad news and with the whole hot-desking otherwise it will probably be difficult to find anything as food as this. The other focus rooms have high demand and you can't book them and shouldn't camp... It's awful.

youronlyone, to Autism
@youronlyone@c.im avatar

How do you define the term, “Openly Autistic”?

  • Is it an autistic person who rarely masks?
  • Or, an autistic who isn't afraid and/or shy to share that they are actually autistic?
  • Or, an autistic person who is active in the autism acceptance “movement” (if we can call it that)?
  • Or, perhaps, an autistic who were interviewed and disclosed they're autistic?

Maybe you have other considerations or criteria that defines “openly autistic” for you?

NOTE: Being openly autistic is a choice and is not for everyone. I think it is safe to say that we all face discrimination, stereotyping, and prejudice for being actually autistics, thus, most choose not to be open about it.

However, recently, there has been a slow growth in numbers of openly autistics, and like with most things in life, we have different criteria, definitions, and cultural considerations.

Thus, I am curious what you think, personally or maybe your immediate environment or organisation, is an openly autistic person. Or, when do you consider one as openly autistic.

Again, this is not about if an autistic person should be openly autistic or not. ^_^

Thank you for your interesting insights!

  • Autism symbol by: MissLunaRose12
  • License: CC By-SA 4.0 International
  • Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Autism_Symbol_Proposed_2.png

Tags: #OpenlyAutistic #OpenlyAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutistics #AskingAutistics #Autistic #Autistics #Autism #AutismSpectrum #AutismAwareness #AutismAcceptance

Groups: @autistics @actuallyautistic

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@youronlyone @autistics @actuallyautistic I think it's point 2) for me. Someone who isn't afraid to share they are autistic. Unmasking is not required for that.

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@youronlyone @autistics @actuallyautistic yes! to this point as well, I am not sure I even know how to unmask (yet) in many situations. Doesn't make me less autistic just less visible. Being "openly autistic" while masking also illustrates that autistic people may exist around us without us knowing it.(And without them knowing sometimes too)

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@twan @youronlyone @autistics @actuallyautistic 🙈 ouffff! So sorry to hear about your experiences! I am openly autistic at work and active in a Neurodiversity employee resource group but still I am wondering if I am being too open, if it will come back to bite me.

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 162 , Monday 08/04/2024

TL:DR My mother warned me there’d be days like this ! (Not really she never knew I was autistic .)

Up at 5:45am, not by choice I might add!

Breakfast, being abused by the mogs & then chores started the day.

It’s really weird what triggers me.
So our new neighbours across the street from us (who I have met 1 half of (Bev) once ) asked us to be key holders while they are away for 2 weeks . Which is fine.

Me being me started doing the job properly & popping over of a morning & of an evening just to check it was all locked up.

Just went over (circa 10am) & did my checks & it turns out they have a Ring doorbell.
I’m walking away & this voice shouts out ‘Hello?’
Long story short, it turns out it’s Ian , Bev’s hubby (who I have yet to meet) wondering why I’m wandering around the property. I explain & it’s all good.
Only it isn’t … I feel like I’ve been caught burgling the place , anxiety levels are thru the roof & I’m close to closing down as I write this.
It has destroyed the whole morning - I KNOW this is illogical, I KNOW I’m catastrophising but I cannot shake the feeling I have done something wrong !
I don’t want to feel this way again so I will be giving the place a once over from our front door for the duration.

So spent the afternoon on ESO hiding away form the world !

Final Thoughts.

I always thought the catastrophising was a function of my depression , now I’m not so sure. I do know that social interaction with anyone I don’t know freaks me out.
Humaning is hard - am Squirrel !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic oh gosh if your story isn't relatable!! This is the type of thing that would be in one of my bad dreams. Just doing everything right but still being blamed for something or mistaken for something or doing something wrong. I get very triggered by being misunderstood or wrongfully judged, so your experience would have left the same märka on me I think. I hope your day was gentle and regulating afterwards!

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic that's lovely! Oooh I haven't played ESO in a long time but I think I will come back to it in the near-ish future! Really loved it!

I started up magic the gathering (slightly out of FOMO, as my partner really got sucked into it and it seems kinda chill and I like the card art) and got some dopamine from opening beginner's packs 😁

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic I am checking out the online version, I don't have physical cards ;-)

I like a good open world game too, there's no shame in dying ;-) what are your favouritea besides ESO?

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma 💚 I wish you a good night!

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

Heading to the concert now, I AM SO HYPE!!!!!!!!

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

2 weeks today we will have 20 people in the house for the start of my weekend of 50th birthday celebrations. Two weeks tomorrow there will be 55 of us plus a jazz band in a function room. People are travelling hundreds of miles. I somehow need to be less mental by then

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma things can change much in that time 💚

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Went for a brief walk but couldn’t summon up the energy to power walk like the Peloton guy wanted me to. The song Fighter came on and it’s meant to be empowering but it just made me cry in the street because I’ve run out of energy to fight

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma awww, oufff! Yeah, I feel the same, when those things are too mismatched it's more saddening than empowering..!
Hope you'll feel better soon 🤗

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma it's going alright! I'm tired and slightly overwhelmed but thankfully working from home and not required to people too much.

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Very much not happy to be alive today. Not going to do anything to harm myself, no need for a police welfare check! Just very weary of continually fighting mood fluctuations and worrying about what tomorrow may bring and I've had enough. Tom says I'll feel differently tomorrow. We'll see

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma sending much love and hope for a better day tomorrow 💚💜

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Those things did not help. I’ve got the big time sads.

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma hugs! 🫂 Sorry to hear 😞

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma started off quite poorly, but feeling better now as some things were solved at work. Still very tired as I didn't sleep well but just treated myself to an ice cream to get through the last 2.5h of today's work day 😊
Hope you have a gentle day 🌺

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

I’ve given up trying to work this afternoon. I’m feeling tired and very demotivated. I completed an important task before lunch but I just don’t know what to tackle next and I don’t feel any deadline pressure right now. I was just faffing around achieving nothing so I thought I might as well step away from the computer.

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma that's smart! I wish I could do the same, my brain certainly hasn't been particularly helpful but unfortunately I do have a deadline for some data delivery, so I need to try and get that done... 🙈🙈

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma we can swap 😂

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

SO and I started discussing pet ownership (dog or cat), we are both longing for a floof or two and while I think I would be a good pet owner in general I am still a bit worried about how it would be when I am doing poorly. Of course, partner can probably step up most of the time, in these cases and probably the pet would help with feeling poorly too.. I am potentially worrying too much? How are other disabled folks with pets experiencing pet ownership?

AutisticDoctorStruggles, to random
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

One more day! Our speaker will arrive soon and present at 10:00! I really hope it will be packed in the auditorium! It certainly sounded like many people intend to come!
I am feeling okay-ish, but this will probably be an intense day!

AutisticDoctorStruggles,
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@mas.to avatar

@purplepadma it went well! Our speaker was fantastic! People were captured and engaged! And two of our senior leaders were present as well and I think it has sparked some impulse to take action!
I have one more peopleing activity, then I will head home and crash!

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