@MattHatton@aus.social
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

MattHatton

@MattHatton@aus.social

Fuckable cartoon dog, award-winning baker, one-man think tank and farm dad simulator, amongst other things. Goes by many names.

I am not here to facilitate good life choices. Piss bread.

Would you like to join my professional network on LinkedIn?

You can't blame toilet for your sadness.

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MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

Team, I just took the six-year old (and the babby) to a birthday party and…it was a thing.

We start with the entry signage. I come across that and think “well that’s elaborate, but I guess if you want to splash out on a big entrance thing that’s cool.”

Then you go inside.

Inside was a jumping castle.

Not just any jumping castle. A jumping castle with the kid’s fucking name on it. A personal jumping castle.

Jumping castle with the birthday kid’s name on it.

MattHatton, to random
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

"We're not really interested in being a platform where journalists autofellate," is a pretty good position to have, actually.

https://masto.ai/@nickmartin/110675265045934559

MattHatton, to random

No TGIF for me until I get this one into bed in checks notes two and a bit hours.

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

@jpm @MattHatton She’s very close. Can roll around, push her self up and crunch her legs up underneath herself. Just hasn’t worked out the coordinated moving of limbs bits.

MattHatton,
@MattHatton@aus.social avatar

@jpm @MattHatton This one has had amazing head control since pretty much Day One.

decryption, to random
@decryption@aus.social avatar

deleted_by_author

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    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @decryption "Running time: 206 minutes"

    Jesus christ mate get a fucking editor.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @decryption nah. look, he's good but 3 and a half hours is taking the fucking piss. No one has written a script that requires a film run that long. Everything should have been edited more than it was.

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    Am I missing something or what?

    Has Threads managed to bypass all the iOS things that control access to on-phone data and stuff or….is an App Store listing not actually the whole story?

    The same screen, but for Threads. It ask for basically nothing.

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    I move a bowl of vanilla ice cream topped with Milo be named the Official Dessert of

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    9.45am Sizzle.

    You vibrating at a very high frequency this morning, @decryption?

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @decryption boo BOOOO

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    Erin: “I think Bub is sick. She just hasn’t been herself today”

    Bub: spends five minutes farting and shitting and is suddenly all better

    Well there’s your problem.

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    You know that thing where you do something at work and you know it's going to get you in trouble but you do it anyway?

    Yeah, it me.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    We do an internal newsletter each month (because Reasons). Part of it is a "fun fact". Previously, this was put together by HR and it was all incredibly normie.

    I've started doing it now.

    Here's this months.

    MattHatton, to cricket
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    I just turned the cricket on and I'm absolutely in support of turfing the betting cunts off tv, putting them into a cannon and firing them into the sun.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @jpm Especially on free-to-air. PayTV has the advantage that typically ads are few and far between during live sport, so if you tune in at kick off and switch off at stumps then you don't tend to see anything.

    FTA, though, fuck me dead.

    decryption, to random
    @decryption@aus.social avatar

    deleted_by_author

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    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @decryption You posting this the other day made me go and reinstall FIFA 22 and get back into that. You bastard.

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    When you go and look at the map, you can really see how much of a nothingburger this whole noise thing is.

    The vast majority of the land under the flight paths is either empty or industrial park hellscape.

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/jun/27/areas-around-future-western-sydney-airport-to-face-vacuum-level-noise-100-times-a-day-by-2040

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    The only major chunk of residential land under the flight paths is this estate here.

    And they're fucking golfists so who cares what they think.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    THOUSANDS OF HOMES!

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    Actually, this would be a fun one. Old mate reckons 1999 is the key year (lolnope). You can very easily go back and go back and overlay historical imagery on the flight paths to see just wasn't there back then.

    Not doing your due diligence isn't anyone's fault but your own.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    Old mate not liking facts and real talk.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    “The flight path goes well beyond Badgerys Creek”

    Yeah man. That’s how planes work.

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @stufromoz World’s first commercial VTOL airport.

    Jplonie, to random
    @Jplonie@aus.social avatar

    And in calculator porn.

    Meet The New CASIO fx-8200 AU | CASIO Education Australia https://casioeducation.com.au/fx-8200-au/

    MattHatton,
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    @Jplonie @jpm I have precisely no need for one and, yet, I’m going to probably drop a sly “hey can I get this in the next Officeworks order” at work so I can have one.

    MattHatton, to random
    @MattHatton@aus.social avatar

    Amazing. Queensland is finally about to get electricity!

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