I have to admit: I was worried about my trip to Italy. My wife was as well.
It's the first time we've travelled away from home in years - since before COVID - and also the first time since I discovered that I'm Autistic.
I was worried about what unmasking has done to my ability to cope with change, disruption to routine and the chaos and unpredictability of travel.
I used everything that I've learned about being Autistic in the last 10 months, and I actually overestimated how stressful and taxing it would be. By doing so, I planned for a lot of downtime. Taking time off work - and not trying to balance work with travel - has also helped tremendously. It has let me focus on travel and rest.
My wife has a chronic illness, which means she needs just as much - if not more - downtime than I do, which helps avoid conflict between our energy levels and motivation. The pace of our travels seems to work well for both of us.
We planned for two full days in Venice. We spent all day yesterday walking and exploring, and today we're mostly staying in our hotel and recharging. We've both become better tuned to our needs, and we both need this downtime before we move on to the last leg of our trip in Rome.
I do expect this coming week to be a bit more challenging, as I'm returning to work while we're still in Italy. But the last couple of weeks has given me more confidence in my ability to recognize, plan and advocate for my needs, and I'm confident that will carry over into this week as well.
That’s really helpful. I was unrealised last time I did a big trip overseas. And I think my ADHD has actually helped in the past, but am nervous as to how well I’ll cope with sensory overwhelm & fear my autism has become more pronounced.
I’ll be 11 years older than when we made our amazing trips to Italy.
Shopping centres are something I avoid as much as possible anywhere, although I don’t mind street shopping strips & markets.
I was worried about being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of wonder I would experience, & that did happen once in Rome. Architecture & monuments spanning thousands of years, & people going around their everyday lives amongst it all. But it was a good overwhelm if you know what I mean. We sat & rested for a few minutes, then went into a very ordinary looking cafe for a simple meal, which was grounding.
I did a Contikitour is my 20s which I enjoyed (was very lucky with my group) & a flexible small group tour of Vietnam & Cambodia with my oldest 10 years ago, but the sight of cruise ships & tour groups nowadays has my skin crawling!
@dave@kliplet@actuallyautistic
We prefer to do less locations in more depth. On our first trip, we stayed in the less touristy La Spezia for several days, from where we could catch trains to the Cinque Terra ( went 2-3 times), Luca & Pisa. It was autumn, so shoulder season. Spent several nights in Venice. (And a few other places in northern Italy).
On the 2nd trip we spent about a week in Sicily, (only saw the south east) & several days in Salerno, a less touristy city with a lovely old centre, & a ferry ride from the Amalfi coast. Caught the train to Pompeii & Herculaneum. Several days at the start & end in Roma.
We also love getting off the main tourist strips & trying cafes & restaurants. The food is often better (or just plain amazing) & cheaper. Being ADHD probably helps. (Pretty sure my partner’s AuADHD, with an emphasis on the latter. He stretches me, usually with good results.)
That sounds lovely! I’m a bit ambivalent about airbnbs @ similar, but if you’re somewhere long enough to buy & cook local produce, that’s the way to do it of course. We did that in Salerno & La Spezia.
In the series "so that's an autism thing too": difficulties in cooking. I have hard time coming up with the shopping list outside of the routine things which I always check against a list on my phone. It's especially difficult to plan what particular dishes should be cooked in the following days.
Once I got hang of cooking -- which happened after I had turned 30, almost 35 -- I learned to like cooking when there's no rush and the recipe is clear. I even can improvise, albeit on quite restricted range. However, when my spouse isn't around, I default to microwaving things or eating frozen pizzas.
My mum created a standard pantry/fridge list & a set of recipes for when she & dad went on their overseas trip when I was 16, years ago. (Nan came to stay, but us kids had to help out. Reckon mum was AuADHD like me.)
When I was a single mum/part-time student/part time retail worker, I used to plan the week’s menus & a shopping list on a Sunday. It was the only way I could cope. Certain meals were cooked often. The planning was the hardest part. Kids were each supposed to cook once a week when they got older. Tuna casserole & sausages, mash & peas were frequently served up.
My partner can walk into the kitchen at 6 with no idea what he’s going to cook, look at what’s in the fridge, & have a lovely meal cooked in 30-45 mins. Simpler meals more quickly. I’m envious but appreciative.
I have just watched the 1st episode of A Kind of Spark thanks to @PetitPas
It’s a Irish British American Canadian series. In Canada I’m watching it on CBC Gem, in the UK it seems to be on the CBBC channel, for the others countries I don’t know.
I like it because the 3 autistic sisters are played by autistic actors, use of the words autistic, masking, meltdown. etc. Shows sensory overload, etc., ignorance and bias.
This Azalea is looking the best in years. The leaves are a healthy, rich green colour. Previously they had a paler mottled appearance. It is autumn, yet it has a couple of flowers. I am not a fan of the frilly, pink flowers of some varieties but I like these flowers.
This plant was given to me by my mother. I receive her excess and unwanted plants. She enjoys buying plants and I enjoy receiving her rejects - a good arrangement. #Melbourne#GardeningAU