@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

YouShallNotPass

@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw

Hi, I'm Gwendolyn, Gwen for short. I'm a cute girl trapped in a giant's ugly body, hence my screen name. I'm trying this out because I really want to talk to other trans folx. In the real world I'm locked in the closet with the light turned out waiting for everyone to go away, but online maybe I can be a little more out. It would be nice.

Av courtesy of nellseto’s maker“ https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1349935 and is semi-accurate. It shows a red-haired woman wearing a black t-shirt, flannel shirt, glasses, and gold hoop earings, holding a coffee cup that says "Cat mom," in front of the trans and lesbian flags, saying "Meow" because why not lean into it? My banner is a pic of a balrog whose flames are in trans colors. I made it myself but I'm pretty sure the balrog is from the movies.

I'm also a #lesbian at the moment so that's fun.

This is a big step for me. Thanks for listening.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

YouShallNotPass, to random
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

I was never soft-spoken and it's debatable how intellectual I am. Basically, I'm a horrible orc person who is transitioning into a horrible melodramatic shitposting transfeminine orc person.

YouShallNotPass, to random
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

I tried tucking last night and it worked but I need a gaff or a pair of tight panties to make it stay. But it was wonderful. So wonderful that it made me a little excited, which kind of ruined the effect.

I feel odd getting aroused by it. It makes me feel like maybe the terves are right and I'm just a dude who gets off on this stuff. I know that's not true, but... I've seen Silence of the Lambs and yeah, I don't want to feel like that.

Does anyone have any advice beyond ignoring that feeling? Lots of internalized transphobia to unpack. Lots of sexual baggage too. This stuff is complicated.

YouShallNotPass, to random
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Subtooting my alt, but Lord grant me the confidence of a man answering a tech question with a link to Wikipedia.

YouShallNotPass, to random
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Got a wedgie which made me feel momentarily like I was wearing a thong which spiked my euphoria levels for a brief instant. So there's that.

YouShallNotPass, to random
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Why would a loving god inflict both trans-ness and medical anxiety on so many people?

The only answer I've been able to come up with is that god hates us and wants to see us suffer. Sure, maybe there is no god at all, but where's the motivation in that? If god hates us, we can survive and even thrive out of spite. We can take our lives and shove love and joy down god's fucking throat.

YouShallNotPass, to random
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

Biblically-accurate gender in five dimensions that can't be perceived by mortal eyes.

YouShallNotPass,
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

You think God is a white-haired dude in the sky? Oh honey, God isn't a dude. If there's cisgender and transgender, God is urgender. God is abgender. God is all genders and none and somehow neither of these things. Your puny moral mind can't comprehend gender to the level it would need to in order to comprehend God's gender. And you think gender is a binary?

melissabeartrix, to random
@melissabeartrix@aus.social avatar

I think the government should pay me $150K a year just to be me ... All I can think of is all the shenanigans I would get up to ... Giggles

Hugz & xXx

YouShallNotPass,
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

@melissabeartrix
I'd settle for 50k for me and 50k for my spouse, but that's American dollars and I think everyone should get it 🙂

YouShallNotPass, to random
@YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

I always leave room for Jesus between me and my partner, but that's because Jesus likes DP.

rooster, to random
@rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

deleted_by_author

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    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster
    ma'am 🥵

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    You're damn right I'm confused about my sexuality. Have you seen that shit? It's confusing. If you were smarter you'd be confused as fuck about it too.

    recursive, (edited ) to random
    @recursive@hachyderm.io avatar

    Technical words that sound worse to people outside of that particular field:

    degenerate (e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degeneracy#Science,_mathematics,_and_medicine)
    regime (e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regime_shift)

    I'm trying to think of others. Please no outright slurs, we can let those die.

    (Edit: folks on Discord mentioned:
    "reaping zombie children" (Unix process management)
    "performed an illegal operation" (computers in general)
    "exploit" (compare resource usage vs. computer security)
    )

    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @recursive
    "Propaganda" outside of very specific uses.

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    As someone with dysphoria and dysmorphia, the idea of becoming a vampire is extra appealing. I'm already pale. Not being able to see myself in the mirror? Bonus! And I'm scared of crosses for entirely vampire-unrelated reasons. Garlic would be a sacrifice though.

    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @zombierustpunk
    Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I join you in solidarity though: I burn in about ten minutes these days and I have a genetic predisposition to skin cancer so I've always had to watch out. That's why I work in the theater and have a Vitamin D deficiency.

    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @zombierustpunk
    Ooh, which Dracula? I did a musical version once, and I've seen a couple other plays of it.

    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @zombierustpunk
    I love What We Do in the Shadows. Haven't seen Renfield yet but want to. I mean, who wouldn't like Nic Cage as a vampire?

    I do nearly all behind the scenes stuff so I understand the appeal. I ran the fly rail for the Dracula musical I did. My favorite part was making a bunch of fake bats fly around during one of the scenes. It was so cheesy.

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Goddamn it I want to put on a dress and twirl ☹️

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    If you're femme and a bit of a domme you're leaving money on the table if you don't change your first name to Sarah and start a side hustle as Try Sarah Tops.

    Terra, to random

    deleted_by_author

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    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Terra
    I'd be terrified and excited and freaked out. You're very lucky but that doesn't make your feelings invalid at all. It'll be great though. Sending my positive vibes ❤️

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    It's so hard to tell the difference between dysphoria and existential terror.

    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @JoscelynTransient
    Oh, both is good* but sometimes one likes to know whether the negative emotion one is feeling is due to one or the other.

    *it was not, in fact, good

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

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    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster
    I'm sure you've already done this but if you haven't, look into your local community college, not necessarily for teaching jobs. A lot of times people think that colleges in general are only hiring professors, but support staff are often great jobs with better pay, and community colleges are sometimes overlooked by a lot of applicants.

    rooster, to random
    @rooster@chaosfem.tw avatar

    deleted_by_author

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    YouShallNotPass,
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster
    Oh no! I'm so sorry hun ☹️ Hopefully it'll just be a minor delay.

    YouShallNotPass, to random
    @YouShallNotPass@chaosfem.tw avatar

    I fully believe that the gender binary is stupid and pointless and hateful and harmful, and yet I really want to be called a comedienne or an actress.

    YouShallNotPass, to random
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    I'm still in the closet with most people including my parents, which means that occasionally my mother will tell me I'm a good man, and it hurts because I know she means it and means it as a compliment and that she probably wouldn't say it if she knew. Am I so good at playing the part? I wouldn't say I'm a good man at all, either good at being a man or a good person who is a man. But I'm bad at being a man more than I am at being a person. So it hurts for a number of reasons I guess.

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