It does not get better. There is no reason for it to get better. There is nothing guaranteeing it will get better. There is no policy, no protocol, no rules, no nothing. NOTHING in this life WILL get better. It might get better....
Hey. Your path through life so far has been really hard, and that’s not fair. No, this life isn’t fair. This society isn’t fair. This society is quite sick actually. You didn’t and don’t deserve to be treated this way. You have intrinsic worth and value that you don’t have to do anything to earn. I don’t know you, but I actually do care about you. What I can do for you is limited, but that’s why I’m responding.
I want you to know that even though no one has been through exactly what you’ve been through, there are people, including myself, that have been falling down a different side of the mountain along side you. I’m a bit older than you, but some of my lowest lows were in my late 20s to mid 30s. I worked very hard to try and tear out the rot in my life and rebuild something that wasn’t daily agony, and while my life isn’t perfect, it’s completely different than it used to be.
I want to pass on some things that helped me in case they might help you. These are just suggestions, and if they don’t apply to your exact situation, I’m sorry if any of them cause offense.
Look into CPTSD and the resources for that. There are unfortunately a lot of people out there who have been through these kinds of situations. There are communities who actually get what you’re saying because they’ve lived through it too. They won’t repeat things like “It gets better” over and over at you. They’ll say things like “Dude, I went through the same thing”, “I’m going through this right now”, or “It’s really hard and I still struggle with it”. There are some things that are so incredibly mind-breaking that humans apparently cannot get over. At best we can coexist with what has happened. These are your people.
If it helps, as a temporary defense mechanism to get you through, develop a detached, amused, incredulous, outlook. Like “Wow this is all a horror show, let’s see what ridiculous thing happens next.” Amuse yourself with the surreal and unbelievable cruel nature of what you and other people are made to experience. But please don’t make this a permanent state of affairs since it’s unhealthy. This is a tourniquet until you can find actual solutions.
Life gets better by inches and then by miles. This is ridiculous sounding, but it was my experience, and I’ve seen this pattern repeated so many times when I come across people sharing their life stories as you have here, but they’ve done this and are on the other side. When you’re at the bottom, start from the bottom. Start building basic habits that will form a good foundation for your life. Think about it like rolling a snowball down a hill. For example, if you don’t make your bed, just start doing that every day until it becomes automatic. Then do the same thing for another basic thing like brushing your teeth. One day you’ll wake up and realize you’re taking care of yourself automatically and have the headspace to do bigger things. Here’s a site that I still find ridiculous in that it’s sometimes necessary but still somehow so helpful: philome.la/jace_harr/…/index.html
It is much more difficult to take care of your mind if you’re not taking care of your body. As part of rolling that snowball, sneak in some things like “I’m going to take a walk every morning.”
Accept that some things don’t get better, but don’t let it define you. I still don’t have any friends, and I’m starting to think I never will. I too have an incredibly hard time trusting anyone because of what I’ve been through. But that’s not my entire life, and when I can I try and work on that a little.
I’ve experienced religious trauma, so it’s always hard for me to recommend this, but Buddhism has helped me immensely. It’s not dogmatic, you can take the philosophical bits and leave the religious trappings on the floor, and you can practice by yourself. I suggest it because it’s a religion/philosophy that starts with your premise (in fact we call it “The Four Noble Truths”):
There will always be suffering in life
Suffering arises from “craving” (warning: there’s a lot to unpack in that word)
You were brave and strong to share your story here. Keep reaching out to people. Unfortunately our society is not built to make it easy for others to care about one another, but deep down, humans really do. I’m not just trying to make you feel better when I say I, a complete stranger, care about you. And I’m also not lying when I say there’s very little I can do about it. It’s not you, or me, it’s the machine we find ourselves in. Still, I do what I can.
Hang in there, and meet yourself where you’re at. Some things don’t get better themselves, but we can minimize their impact on our overall life.
As a person with anxiety, this is the real mind-fuck. The world keeps proving the things I worry about are valid. I'm supposed to work on not worrying so much about the future, but it's saved me several times now.
Hi folks! I'm adding a new rule under Allowed Content:
Advertisements to other fediverse communities focused on Guild Wars 2
For those of you that are new to federated social media, you might be wondering why this is important. The fediverse is decentralized. A quick browse on the default homepage of kbin.social will show you content from other instances of Kbin and Lemmy. Searching #GuildWars2 will show you even more discussion from other federated servers.
If this magazine was the only place on the fediverse to discuss the game and kbin.social shut down (or if I turned out to be an overzealous mod who decided to only allow posts about DPS minstrel core thief), then that would be a huge problem! We'd find ourselves in the same situation we're in right now with the loss of /r/guildwars2.
There's a ton of very nice people around the fediverse who discuss the game. Any assistance posters want to provide in helping us find them is welcome. The conversation is not limited to kbin!
I'm on a Lemmy instance, and the sidebar does not show the rules like it does on kbin. I had to manually go navigate to kbin to see them. Maybe you should put the rules in a post that's pin? Is that a thing?
This is exactly my take. I can't in good conscious buy a Blizzard game right now, so I kind of wanted this to go through.
Every other part of me did not want this to go through. With how popular game pass is, and how many studios they're buying, this is just a recipe for a bait and switch and a bad situation for gamers down the road.
I'm kind of unhappy with some of the changes but the more I sit on others, the more interested I am with this patch? It's gonna have growing pains for sure but I'm curious how other people feel
I'm not a hardcore player or anything, but I was kind of unhappy with the changes. Others were mentioning how every class is being made to act the same, and I kind of see that. I like it when classes have unique abilities so there's a reason to roll different characters and bring certain classes along. Everything else looks great imo.
This was cross-posted from the neurodivergence community, but I don't think it's a very good fit. Without getting into the nuances, CPTSD is situational, or it's caused by a confluence of factors, and is a negative aspect of people's lives requiring support. Neurodivergence is more often something that's biological, and not usually negative, and can be celebrated.
A more appropriate broad categorization would be something like a mental health community, but even then, sadly, people who suffer from CPTSD have been through some horrific, NSFL, things. Having a separate community would probably be best for both sides: those who have CPTSD, and those who don't, and probably wouldn't want to read some of the things in people's posts.
Anyway, I was wondering if there was a place people could request new communities, but it sounds like the admins largely decide based on what they see on the fediverse?
Thank you for the excellent explanation! I can certainly appreciate this stance and why you and the other admins might want to be sure to do this in the right way, if ever. It's enough for me to know it's in the back of your minds.
In the meantime, do you have any suggestions for a provider to host such a space?
I still think an individual CPTSD community is warranted though. I just don't think it works if posts about anxiety are next to posts about things like being trafficked, tortured, etc.
There's a joke about people performing in the "trauma olympics", and comparing each other's experiences to see whose is worse. I'm explicitly not trying to do that, but it's difficult to describe why I think these kinds of communities should be separate without describing the difference in severity and amount of issues people with CPTSD are generally working with. I'm afraid posts about CPTSD might make people with "more common" (this feels incredibly dismissive) mental health struggles feel like their issues are small in comparison (they're not!), and that maybe they shouldn't post. I wouldn't want that.
Hello Beehaw! I understand lemmy.ml is overloaded, but I wanted to see if there was a different explanation for why this is the case. Am I in a moderation queue? Is something on Beehaw backed up? Or something else?...
Do you think this is a Lemmy bug? Are retries not happening as they should? Or maybe this suggests that there's no queue of "federated actions" and it's really whether you get lucky when you make the attempt?
I've used https://reddit.com/r/cptsd as a support group for awhile. It never felt right to post such sensitive discussions onto a platform controlled by a tech company trying to monetize its content, so I was really happy when things like Lemmy began taking off. In my opinion, support communities belong in user-owned spaces like...
There's been so many new laws passed across the US (and some other countries world wide as well), that makes it feel like even visiting another area is unsafe. I feel like I can't go anywhere without feeling like the entire state is out to get me.
I'm in the US, and my family was fortunate to be able to move states. I'm still worried what will happen with the next US presidential election and whether we'll have to flee the country. There was a news article recently that told the story of a trans child whose family was also moving. I found out they lived in my old neighborhood :( I am angry and scared and sad for these kids.
Meanwhile, everyone I know who is not queer is very dismissive when I try and talk about this stuff. They either accuse me of exaggerating, or assure me it will never get worse (worse? than what? literally having to move? people being denied healthcare? emergency care?).
I also have a lot of anxiety being around kids. Because of all the stupid propaganda about queer people being groomers, I feel like someone's going to accuse me of something, but I'm an anxious person to begin with.
I'm also afraid to travel to "red states" (something that doesn't actually exist). It might help you to know that I recently did, and everyone was friendly.
I think the real tragedy here is that most people are supportive of queer people, but there's this tiny group of people shouting really loudly and making it seem like the world's out to get us.
And for the record, I'm not letting these people prevent me from doing the things I want to do. That's what they want.
"It gets better" is one of the most successful lies ever told
It does not get better. There is no reason for it to get better. There is nothing guaranteeing it will get better. There is no policy, no protocol, no rules, no nothing. NOTHING in this life WILL get better. It might get better....
Your Brain Has Tricked You Into Thinking Everything Is Worse (www.nytimes.com)
The "good old days" are a trick of the mind.
Happy Pride Month from a sleepy nonbinary girlboyfriend c: (i.imgur.com)
sorry, I know memes are technically low effort posts but this one just brought me so much joy and I haven't stopped thinking about it since...
So ... how are we going to interact with our reddit siblings?
Shall we embrace cross posting?...
Microsoft Blocked From Buying Activision For Now, As Judge Grants Temporary Restraining Order (www.gamespot.com)
Steam Updates User Interface, Adds Note Taking System, Enables Hardware Acceleration on Linux and Mac (linuxgamingcentral.com)
With the balance preview stream having happened, how do you all feel about the patch?
I'm kind of unhappy with some of the changes but the more I sit on others, the more interested I am with this patch? It's gonna have growing pains for sure but I'm curious how other people feel
How do I request that a new community be created?
It seems like there is some interest in this:...
All of my lemmy.ml community subscriptions are pending.
Hello Beehaw! I understand lemmy.ml is overloaded, but I wanted to see if there was a different explanation for why this is the case. Am I in a moderation queue? Is something on Beehaw backed up? Or something else?...
When do you think we'll see the new expansion?
And what do you think about the new format for releases?...
Is there a CPTSD community anywhere?
I've used https://reddit.com/r/cptsd as a support group for awhile. It never felt right to post such sensitive discussions onto a platform controlled by a tech company trying to monetize its content, so I was really happy when things like Lemmy began taking off. In my opinion, support communities belong in user-owned spaces like...
How are you dealing with all these new anti-trans/LGBTQ+ laws?
There's been so many new laws passed across the US (and some other countries world wide as well), that makes it feel like even visiting another area is unsafe. I feel like I can't go anywhere without feeling like the entire state is out to get me.