beebarfbadger

@beebarfbadger@lemmy.world

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beebarfbadger,

Have you considered upgrading to the Ultra Premium Deluxe Version? For just 99.99- a month, you can actually use what you bought!

beebarfbadger,

It’s fiiiiine, I wouldn’t want a stupid brain chip that’s NOT on fire anyway. Looks much cooler and I bet that’s just how Daddy Elon planned it to be.

beebarfbadger,

Sure, the possibilities are endless, so the first thing we’ll get that has any research money and effort put into it is how to turn it into an advertising platform and then maximally enshittifying it as soon as there’s a market share to speak of.

beebarfbadger,

Oh, they’d never do anything as sinister as that. That may still be illegal (if the ultra-rich lobbying hasn’t taken care of that obstacle by that point).

Instead, they’ll just make sure that whatever essential core service they’ve built a monopoly in by just muscling the poorer competitors out of the race will cease to be offered to you if you refuse to hand all your money over to them.

See also: insulin, hospital treatment, etc. This is just a new playing field to find old prey in.

beebarfbadger,

You pronounced “live” differently, I assume?

beebarfbadger,

But how are the corporations then supposed to keep ripping off their wage slaves by making them afraid to ask for more or organise out of some drummed up moral concern? Huh? Didn’t consider that, did ya? Won’t somebody think of the poor, poor corporations?

beebarfbadger,

I don’t know what they’ll do to him, but I can tell you: if you were to do what he did, the twelfth time, there’d surely be some sort of stern admonishment, or maybe even real consequences!

beebarfbadger,

“Download our app and consume ads on it because… becaaaaauuuuuusssseeeeee, um, let’s say SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Maybe terrorism? Just pick a reason you’d believe and get the app, okay?”

beebarfbadger,

It’s fine though, we already have the solution. Basically. I mean, I’ve marked it in my calendar, so we’re basically halfway there already. Now get off my back about all the CO2 pollution we get rich off.

[Official] Switch 2 will be announced this fiscal year + June direct confirmed (twitter.com)

This is Furukawa, President of Nintendo. We will make an announcement about the successor to Nintendo Switch within this fiscal year. It will have been over nine years since we announced the existence of Nintendo Switch back in March 2015. We will be holding a Nintendo Direct this June regarding the Nintendo Switch software...

beebarfbadger,

Bit of a shock for me. Wish they’d announced that they were about to announce that the announcement was about to happen.

beebarfbadger,

May update. May not update. Who’s to say?

beebarfbadger,

Absolutely catastrophic mismanagement.

Hard disagree. When the vultures gut and eat the racehorse they just bought, they’re perfectly happy with the outcome.

beebarfbadger,

Has science gone too far? Find out in the scattered audio logs left behind in the mysteriously abandoned research complex.

beebarfbadger,

Rest assured, the ones cultivating the wage slaves do have their regular orgies.

beebarfbadger,

Uhhrk.

beebarfbadger,

Yes, Neil deGrasse Tyson, you are very jaded and knowledgeable. Now let the rest of us have fun.

beebarfbadger,

52 is the average age of his body parts.

beebarfbadger,

Next episode: The gang secure themselves a mine to gain a steady supply of blood diamonds.

beebarfbadger,

One session after that, they find out that the continental cartel has had decades to entrench their position on the market and can and will field all the manpower that dozens of diamond-producing national branches can field in order to regain control of one lost national mining branch. Two sessions later, the alchemist is the one who knocks.

beebarfbadger,

I won’t stop you :)

beebarfbadger,

Seats one (1) person. Requires widening of most privately accessible streets.

beebarfbadger,

Should still be somewhere. Maybe in the carpet or the sofa…

beebarfbadger,

Yeah, but it’s a straight terrible port from a mobile game with a solid gacha foundation and Baldur’s Gate skins tacked on. Also you need to subscribe and pay a weekly fee to get access to the premium lockboxes that may or may not (spoiler: they do not) give you the characters/skins/whatever that you actually came for. Everything is time-gated unless you pay more of the premium currency to be allowed to grind more for a chance that won’t proc anyway unless you go into debt to buy enough crates.

beebarfbadger,

Ahummm, well actually, * adjusts monocle * time travel is not possible and since nobody has invented time machines yet, neither of these scenarios would happen in reality.

beebarfbadger,

Where’s the Windsor knot?

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