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eo

@eo@dads.cool

Kids. Cats. Peace. That's everything.

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eo, to random
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@economics@a.gup.pe hey, I figure I better put my 🤑 if I'm going to use this profile icon. Everyone knows about donut econ, I presume? I confess I have only read half the book. But I have also read half of other books. My armchair is very economical.

Uair, to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@economics@a.gup.pe @actuallyautistic

I had another million dollar idea. Start manufacturing reusable substitutes for plastic junk. I cook, and try to reuse the packaging my foodstuffs come in, but why not glass/ wood/ metal/ silicon permanent solutions? Most people see a difference between an old pickle jar--trash--and a glass jar with steel lid they bought at Sharper Image, so make some money selling them one.

I need a place to store 20lbs of rice and 4lb bags of beans.

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@Uair @economics@a.gup.pe @actuallyautistic
Ah the old "reuse" of the three Rs. That was a really big movement in maybe the 70s in the US. It's why a lot of grocery stores still have a "bulk" section where you can bring your own container. People forget, or don't manage the logistics of bringing the right containers, so a lot of grocery stores don't do it anymore. If you could provide a service to outsource container management (+ convenience and savings) then there's a business.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic I think the "high functioning" paradigm is really very very important for modern psychology and western culture. Executive function is broadly held as a virtue. Millennials have been called the "burnout generation". There are books and books on this that don't mention autism at all. We Autistics are the canaries. We "high functioning" Autistics have stories that eclipse the common conversations.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

"high functioning autism" is basically bulimia for executive functioning.
What do you think about this analogy, @actuallyautistic?

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@arcadetoken @actuallyautistic I am focusing on my behavior, not the use of the label by allistics.
I notice that I do executive binging and purging. I work really hard, and yeah, I'm "high functioning" for a while by any standard, but it is bad for me (burnout), and I feel guilty for leading people on that they could rely on me (they can't), so I dissociate, disconnect, rationalize, and behaviors that could be analogous to purging.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

How do you predict how functional you're going to be? I seem to have a lot of trouble telling how functional I presently am. Honestly, it can even be a bit murky in retrospect. I'm textbook "high functioning" … maybe because I lie about it at every level. First, to myself. Feeling hopeless.
@actuallyautistic

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@Susan60 @samantha @actuallyautistic that's it, I think. The same "high functioning" pattern. We beleived the gaslighting so we can't see what we need.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic what's your favorite drink, either alcohol or non. And your fav pick-me up, whether coffee, tea or smoothie.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

Can anyone explain to me the Autistic relationship to the rigidity/flexibility dichotomy?
We occupy both extremes.
@actuallyautistic

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic I have always struggled with anhedonia. Since I learned about "Autistic joy" and have seen what a pure experience of joy an autistic child can have, I'm wondering what is wrong with me again. Too many experiences seem essentially ruined, and I feel like I should be able to tell you why and how, but I can't. I am beginning to read "The Neuroscience of Happiness and Pleasure" (NIHMS257673) … does anyone relate?

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic do you have a pair of headphones that you love?
Whether or not you consider yourself an audiophile.

eo, to random
@eo@dads.cool avatar

That these words mean to you what I want them to mean to you is such a precarious conjecture.
Then, that meaningful words, even perfectly arranged in the most meaningful way to you, might in any case result in you envisioning something close to what I see in my own mind seems a foolish hope.
But it works because the words that return are consistent in usage with previous words spoken, despite disparate existential experiences.

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

I am perpetually irritated, in some fundamental aspect of my being, by the lie of symbolism.
The extreme difference between the fullness of lived experience and the simplicity of, and poor precision of, words and phrases seems to me to be commonly ignored, willfully.
It is not just a philosophical topic, philosophical though the topic may be. The details of experience must be picked and chosen, and human decisions at this frequency are simply mostly not carefully researched.
So what is missing ?

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic unmasked, I get cryptic. Attempting genuine communication produces inaccessibly dense language. I wrote the above last night and now I want to take it down, as if to apologize for missing the audience. But there is no audience for my simplest truths.

As if to stand up from the wheelchair of banality were a sin.

I remind myself. Say less. Reference memetic trends. Start from an ongoing conversation or I'm alone.

autism101, to actuallyautistic
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Did you get labeled as a “picky eater” when you were growing up?

@actuallyautistic

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@autism101 @actuallyautistic no

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@pilum @autism101 @actuallyautistic yes this is my Autistic son, too.
As a kid I think I was always just grateful to eat. I was perpetually hungry well into adulthood. Around age 28 or 29 I realized I was way happier if I just ate more. Mental health improved when my body fat rose above 5%.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic

what are some of the most common, or most bothersome, false assumptions people make about you?

Don't limit yourself to neurodiversity or any other topic.

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@actuallyautistic that, when I don't react instantly to something, I'm not listening or don't care.

That's a tough one because why I don't react quickly is complicated. I have multiple reasons!

Specific to conversation, I have heard that many Autistics often have a little pause before responding.

I would guess we naturally, or necessarily, use more of our 'higher' cortical function? Handling social danger, compensating and calculating, just thinking about what really matters to everyone?

theautisticcoach, to actuallyautistic

Do you use the word "Neurodivergent"?

Why or why not?

Do you think it's ableist?

If you don't use it, what word do you use?

@actuallyautistic

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I am uncertain if 'neurodivergent' is ableist.

I just use the word Autistic, capitalized. Capitalization makes it a name for a group of people with a collective identity, which I think is simply true.

Other neurodiversities should be used as is appropriate for each, because each have different stories.

I kind of don't like being grouped with other neurodiversities as if we are similar. My partner is ADHD and we are very different.

eo, to actuallyautistic
@eo@dads.cool avatar

Even if I am laughing, I usually find comedy stressful. You too? @actuallyautistic

PossiblyAutistic, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

Anybody using the app Hiki (dating and friendship app specifically for autistics?). For me it's quite annoying that it is only usable on a phone (Android device) ...

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@PossiblyAutistic @actuallyautistic is the 'friendship' part real? First time I've heard about Hiki. Not really in the dating pool. I tried Bumble BFF last year. I couldn't really make it work for me. Seems to me like friendships need a different feature set than dating, but I haven't seen it developed.

Cassandra, (edited ) to random
@Cassandra@autistics.life avatar

I think I've noticed On Here that the general consensus is, if you think someone's autistic, you shouldn't tell them. It's too much seeing, or something.

I'm a bit baffled by this advice. I think it would have been a kindness if someone had set me down this path sooner.

Should you tell someone if you think they're autistic and that knowledge could help them?

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@Cassandra I think it's kind of like guessing a woman is pregnant. Great if you're right, but if you're wrong they might be insulted. And if you're not Autistic, yourself, then there's more risk.

eo, to random
@eo@dads.cool avatar

Have you, or anyone you know, publicly disclosed that you, or they, are ?

Private
eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@StevenSaus @actuallyautistic I am extraordinarily skeptical of basically everything to do with autism. Being diagnosed last year, it has been like I have been cold and naked my whole life, and now I have a jacket that doesn't fit. Attempting to tell anyone about myself has gone from impossible to "just" a very long story that a very patient friend might listen to. Next DSM, it'll all change. I do believe they're learning.

eo,
@eo@dads.cool avatar

@StevenSaus @actuallyautistic and wrt what you said about CPTSD, yes. Thanks very much for looking!

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