@girlonthenet@mastodon.social
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

girlonthenet

@girlonthenet@mastodon.social

#SexBlogger, #pervert, fuckup.

I run on cider and praise.

Https://www.girlonthenet.com
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

I've been ridiculously ill for the last two days, and I am still sweating about half my body weight every six hours. By the time I have thrown this disease I will be a dessicated husk.

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Also dunno if I've ever mentioned this EVERY TIME I am ill, but being ill is fucking BORING. My brain is too slow to do any proper work, my body will barely let me slump from bed to sofa, and all the fun things I had in my diary are cancelled. Plus, I don't get sick pay, so all the general worry and stress that I won't make my direct debits this month is the only thing I have for company.

If you're ill and you get sick pay, please stay home. Don't spread it around.

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@airadam thank you <3

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Queer writers: this literary agency is offering free feedback sessions!

https://www.spreadtheword.org.uk/submissions-call-out-applications-are-open-to-lgbtqia-writers-for-1-2-1-feedback-from-frog-literary-agency/

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Normally my boyfriend doesn’t like me talking about stuff we’ve done immediately after we’ve done it. It’s weird for him to have each step of his relationship immediately digested and reviewed on Mastodon...

HOWEVER he has given me permission to tell you that he took me on a completely genius and extremely cool date yesterday. In his own words “I dated the shit out of you.”

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

I’ll probably write a blog post about the date, but fundamentally the idea was: a mini-re-enactment of our first three dates (pub/stoned picnic/geocaching), crammed into one afternoon/evening. Like a little tour of the beginning of Us.

It was fun, nostalgic, cheap, sunny and romantic af. ❤️

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@Sylvhem right?? He played a blinder and he is rightly very proud. I was properly over the moon as soon as it dawned on me what we were doing

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@thisismissem 🥰🥰🥰

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Google Maps has rolled out an update which shows which parts of your journey are on marked cycle lanes! I might be slow off the mark, I’ve not cycled in a while but... this is cool isn’t it???

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

99% of the time when I burst into your timelines/RSS feeds/garden parties yelling "OMG LOOK AT THIS COOL THING", that cool thing will be transport-related.

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@amberage oh no! I hope you get it soon! Not sure if this is relevant but I'm on iphone

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@Sylvhem haha YES

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@amberage ohh yeah that could be it

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@Starcross it is giving me little pop ups on each route like 'best route' and 'less traffic' but I don't think I can set the default to prioritise one over the other if you see what I mean

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@Mactonex ah yeah could be! Maybe testing it out, but I hope it gets rolled out further!

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@NotTheLBCGuy wait... you have a SHED?! hides in shed

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@sandralindsey haha and I am EXTREMELY grateful for this!

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@zoeking yikes!!!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Something that massively annoys me in TV and movies is when someone kisses a cis dude for like 5 seconds, slides their hand down his pants, then goes “oh... nothing’s happening?”

Of COURSE nothing’s happening? His dick is not a light switch.

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

I know we don’t have infinite time to dedicate to sex scenes but I still don’t think we should be reinforcing the narrative that if you’re not rock-solid within 5 seconds of kissing, sex is definitely not on the cards. And that it’s reasonable for your partner to be disappointed because your cock doesn’t function with the speed of a Jack-in-the-Box.

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@Laird_Dave @amy I just want to note:

  1. it's not a 'skill' it's a physiological response, and 'losing' it is incredibly common.
  2. 'still works fine' - again this is the kind of language I'd love us to move away from. A dick that doesn't get immediately rigid after 5 seconds of kissing is 'working' exactly as most dicks do.
  3. I am sorry you're disappointed by your libido/erectile response, but I assure you there are many horny people out there who'll be looking for a match in that area!
girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@boulder 'from a cis guys perspective usually the wind is enough' You're just repeating the stereotype that I'm trying to challenge here. Why?

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

It's taking all my inner strength right now not to append a shower of apologies to all new posts explaining that I know how bad I am at writing right now. I get why I'm in a shit phase (hate myself, hate everything I think and do and say and write), but I can't get past it at the mo. Anyway, thank fuck for guest blogs and the audio project. Pitch me via the info on the site if you've got smutty stories! You're definitely a better writer than I am!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

"You can fly away from your family and your country of birth and I have. But you can’t walk away from children. I want to be free."

I love Mona Eltahawy so much. And yeah, I love the life I've created too.

https://www.feministgiant.com/p/unmothering

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Woke up this morning, had breakfast with my hot boyfriend and a lovely friend, worked on my sex blog for a bit then hopped on a train with my bestie to go hang with his girlfriend in a beautiful seaside town in the sunshine. One of those days where I feel so very lucky to live the life I live, surrounded by the people I love.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • normalnudes
  • kavyap
  • khanakhh
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • hgfsjryuu7
  • DreamBathrooms
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • PowerRangers
  • Durango
  • ngwrru68w68
  • rosin
  • anitta
  • vwfavf
  • osvaldo12
  • ethstaker
  • mdbf
  • everett
  • GTA5RPClips
  • cubers
  • tacticalgear
  • Leos
  • modclub
  • cisconetworking
  • tester
  • provamag3
  • All magazines
    •