@girlonthenet@mastodon.social
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girlonthenet

@girlonthenet@mastodon.social

#SexBlogger, #pervert, fuckup.

Boost my toots. Mmm yeah. Like that. That's good that feels so good.

Https://www.girlonthenet.com
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

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girlonthenet, (edited ) to random
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I’ve only just noticed (after over a decade of having it) that my avatar is off centre. Does this bother you?

girlonthenet,
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@amy haha I love that you think I would be that intentional! Flattered 🥰

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

It’s at about this time every month (23:58, on the 1st) that I think you should all remember I have a small number of Premium Bonds, so you should be nice to me for the next 2 minutes or so, in case I win a hundred thousand pounds.

girlonthenet,
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You’re actually not going to believe this but I won fuck all on the Premium Bonds!

girlonthenet,
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@ifixcoinops oh no 😢

girlonthenet, to random
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Stages of :

-This is so cool and helpful!
-I’m learning so quickly!
-I can share my progress with friends! 🥰
-I’m so obsessed with my streak haha!
-I want to punt this stupid owl into the centre of the sun

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@der_schrank totally understand that. It’s not great for rules. I’m learning Japanese, which I already know a bit, and I’m finding myself doing a lot of the sentence structure on instinct. It’s great for re familiarising and vocab improvement tho

girlonthenet,
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@clenpen mine just seems to automatically protect my streak when I forget to do it. The streak is a lie? I think?

girlonthenet,
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@umamiaf @coldclimate 😂

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@clenpen if you click on gems and go into the shop, do you have any ‘streak freeze’ available? That’s the one, they should have given you a couple to start with I think

girlonthenet,
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@clenpen yes! Each of those should give you a day! Have a lovely birthday!

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@ch2ds reposted, and I agree tbh. I am being a hit mean about it, but I do really love it. I picked it up because my boyfriend mentioned wanting to go to Japan and I am so desperate to impress him in case he wants to take me 😂

girlonthenet,
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@clenpen oh lovely! Have an awesome one ❤️😉

girlonthenet, to random
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I've just finished editing the latest by @SpenPErotica and MAY I JUST SAY... 💦

Part 1 up on Patreon later today. Get hype.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Me: I am sad.
Friend 1: Wanna talk?
Friend 2: Wanna talk?
Friend 3: Wanna talk?
Friend 4: Come to a pirate party!

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Who's excited for the elections tomorrow? I just learned that although we need photo ID (which is BULLSHIT), even if your ID has expired you can still use it as long as you're recognisably the person in the picture.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/london-mayor-local-elections-photo-id-may-vote-b1154903.html

girlonthenet, to random
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Pro tip if you are friends with people who love where they live: an easy, fun present for birthdays (and ESPECIALLY housewarmings) is to go to ebay and find an antique map for their area. I fucking LOVE antique maps of my area and have had a 100% success/joy rate when buying them for other people. You can usually find cheap ones - I just got one for a mate's upcoming birthday for just over 10 quid.

girlonthenet, to random
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One of my absolute favourite @stuart_cb illustrations today. The 1950's pinup style but with iPhone on the bed is just... chef's kiss. Sorry the blog post turned into something so weird.

1950's housewife / Trashfire

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/1950s-housewife-trashfire/

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@melofthevalley thanks mate! It's been such a weird week and I've had to do a lot of worrying, I think when this happens it's hard to pick out useful thoughts from bullshit ones. But still: I published a post! and that is the main thing =) People usually forget the bad ones and only remember the good which is very kind of them!

girlonthenet,
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@gilester45 @stuart_cb THANK YOU - I was especially proud of that. I reckon maybe 5% of people will get it, but it is worth it to please the 5%

girlonthenet,
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@danael_e @stuart_cb ah thank you! And I love that you enjoy this ritual ❤️❤️

girlonthenet, to random
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Once again I am here to improve your lives with wisdom: if you have a jar you’re struggling to open, or something like this ancient bottle of nail varnish, try scrim tape (also known as plasterboard/dry wall tape). You’re right, I AM a genius.

Roll of scrim tape - white tape made up of thin strings arranged in a grid pattern

girlonthenet,
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

@madam__mayhem this is also certified genius

girlonthenet,
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@tomdewar I don’t own them but good call

girlonthenet, to accessibility
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If you want to hear your sexy stories read aloud as , or get help with training + equipment so you can record them yourself... I'm currently accepting submissions for the next round of the project.

I'll...
a) pay you a license fee
b) treat your work with respect and horny enthusiasm and
c) give you a widget to embed the audio in your own site to make it more to blind readers

YAY COOOOOOL. Details here:

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sex-blogs-turned-into-audio-porn/

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